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Found 39 results

  1. HelynnEdwards

    Postpartum Mood Disorder I am wondering if any of you mamas have experienced birth trauma as well as postpartum mood disorder. I have with both kids and it was the catalyst for my spiritual awakening. I am having to work backwards now with the fractured aspects during that time. I am also thinking about becoming some sort of coach to those who are going through it, because I learned so much and feel I could help others get through it. I am also wondering if anyone has a thought on what postpartum depression/anxiety/OCD means spiritually?
  2. GabijaCij

    00:00 CP AND DREAMS. After doing lots of CP and partswork, I notice that my dreamworld changes dramatically. Is it because my internal parts unite and therefore different perspectives blend together? 00:34 ANXIETY. I am struggling with intense anxiety, panic and obsessive thoughts. However, I cannot bring myself to do CP or shadow work relative to this anxiety, because I am so afraid of completely losing control if I attempt surrender. 01:38 MONEY. What is money a mirror of? There's a lack of money in my life right now and I'd like to understand why. 05:15 COOSING A MEDICAL SOLUTION. My doctor suggests I look into testosterone replacement therapy. I really struggle with insomnia, which depletes testosterone. I struggle to do all the lifestyle things that naturally replentish testosterone due to the sleep deprivation. Vicious cycle. Is it time for a medical solution? 07:09 VIDEO GAMES. How do I tell the difference between genuine joy of playing video games or using them to escape my reality? 11:05 CHANNELING VS PROJECTION. I recently tried to channel my partner's pain (chronic body pain). It went too well, I experienced being a child and being sexually molested. My partner does not recognize this situation happening to him. This is the first time I try this, could I have been channeling my own pain, instead of his? 13:25 RIGHT VS WRONG DECISION. How do you differentiate between making a right and wrong decision? Especially in business. Does it always have to feel good for you to know it’s a right move? 16:43 Teal's story of her in kindergarden. 19:03 PHYSICAL AILMENTS. What is the collective group vibration? 20:28 WHEN IS BREAKING UP RIGHT. My boyfriend and I decided to break up last night. We were incompatible and growing in completely different directions for over a year, but it still really hurts. My question is, how can I know it was the right decision? 23:30 ACUPUNCTURE. Does acupuncture therapy and yoga help in healing or does it suppress the trauma?; Could you explain about acupuncture in healing emotional wounds? 29:40 NOT ABLE TO GET SEX. I have such an intense desire for sex (and a romantic relationship) but I am running dry and can't manifest ANYTHING good. If I can't have love, can't I at least get great sex, please? 32:26 INVOLUNTARILY CELIBATE. I'm living as an Incel (involuntarily celibate) which is the complete opposite of the life I want too live, the result is I feel dangerous to others and myself because of the immense feeling of pain. How do I stop this cycle?; I feel as if I am living my life as a Involunterary celibate, I struggle to find a woman, I'm emotionally starving. I also have an addicition to pornography that covers up my pain as I stay inside all the time instead of finding people. What should I do? 39:52 EGO WANTS TO BE GOOD. How do we let go of ego's control of being good, therefore deny ourself and our emotions and not act upon them? how do i change the constant selfcontrol pressure and be free? 41:20 INCOMPATIBILITY. If this world is a mirror, then why is incompatibility with people an issue? Does that mean I am incompatible with myself, or within me there is an aspect that is incompatible with who I am? 46:26 PUSH AND PULL IN RELATIONSHIPS. I found someone compatible to me and I was so happy, until this really strong split inside me came up that's so hurt and wants to push him away. I am sure this pain isn't about him or something he did, but it is so strong it makes me see him as a threat, i don't want to breakup, what do i do? 47:57 ECZEMA. I can't manage to heal eczema despite of eating mainly organic food (i was born asthmatic) , can you spot adequate remedies in my specific case? 51:45 UNCONDITIONAL PRESENCE VS BOUNDARIES. I find it very difficult as a CPCP to practice unconditional love/acceptance consistently when working with a friend who is consciously choosing to stay stuck in an abusive situation, and I've gave it to her straight about her enabling the abuse upon her children to continue all for the sake of hiding behind her fears and low self-worth since no one else dared to speak up. She is taking steps for herself, a severe codependent, and to be honest she knows it all deep inside and has confessed that. And most importantly she has children which really hurts me because I can see the trauma growing bigger and bigger around them whenever we meet. I have put a physical distance in order to not continue to make her feel like she is a bad parent and to honor my boundaries. But because we are close friends, I struggle to find a 'balance' between unconditionally being present with her pain and advocating for her to get out of abuse. I am patient and grateful that she is taking baby baby steps for herself like expressing her true feelings towards her partner, but sometimes I am annoyed and powerless that it is so slow moving. How do you deal with this? 56:25 I HATE MY MOTHER. Why can’t I stop hating my mother? I feel like I have healed a lot if wounds that are caused by her, but when I am with her I am in a state of resistance and I keep thinking hateful thoughts. She triggers me like all the time. I want to move on but I feel stuck. 1:26:40 Wrap up and announcements.
  3. My Story with these Disorders: Hello everyone, I am about to share with you my story of going through hell, and eventually facing the hell and recovering from most of these disorders. Before I will just state that DPDR is a psychological disorder and is entirely maintained by suppressed parts of your personality, beliefs, or memories. It starts off about 5 and a half years ago I got DPDR after 7 months of chronic OCD, obsessive thoughts, and some panic attacks. Before I got the chronic OCD I was bullied for 6 years from 1st to 6th grade, while I was developing anxiety and low self-esteem due to the bullying and my mentality at the time. It was hard for me to talk loudly or stand up for myself then which I overcame later on. In case you're wondering what DPDR is, it is a mild dissociative disorder caused by extreme stress, OCD, trauma that makes you feel a detachment from, yourself, reality, emotions and in my case came with dissociative amnesia aka blank memory which I overcame alongside with the DP Depersonalization and a lot of the DR part Derealization. I had psychotic episodes too. I got into fights at school and one day someone put a curse on me giving me demonic scratches which have stayed for past several years. While I had these conditions I got into third eye meditations and opening my pineal gland which was both detrimental but also beneficial but not the cause of the demons. Detrimental in that it increased my awareness of the demonic scratches whenever I'm in a building away from nature; nature has a very positive vibe. Third eye activation was beneficial in the way that it sparked up my intuition to find out the solution that cured me of most of my problems. The reason I just recently added this part is due to a false memory I had because of the dissociative amnesia I experienced(Third eye Pineal Gland meditations and activation did not cause my demons, it increased my awareness of them increasing the symptoms but not the cause). I thank God that I have recovered from my OCD completely, panic attacks, I have lowered my DPDR where it's now mild, lowered my Borderline Personality Disorder where it is also mild, no more psychotic episodes, and lastly lessening the mild HPPD aka mild visual hallucinations I got from opening my pineal gland and from when I started the healing process of my version of shadow work/integration of the shadow mind I call the Face Method or verbal shadow work which is facing 100% of mental fears, limiting beliefs, and negative memories gradually by thinking and saying them out loud and other methods mentioned below. How have I recovered 90% and recovering further? EFT, fasterEFT, and shadow work are all very helpful methods. EFT and fasterEFT consists of facing negative beliefs/memories by saying them out loud, releasing their negative emotions, tapping on meridian points, and (optionally) ending on positive thoughts. What I call the Face Method/ Verbal Shadow work/Negative thought Integration is basically like the first part of EFT except without the tapping which I and certain EFT practitioners have found not necessary but can be helpful and ending on the positive aka matrix reimprinting or changing a belief is optional because it will make it take more time to heal all the negative by saying positive thoughts. Classic Shadow Work is also good. I will also note that any form of shadow work can obviously cause pain and or suffering but integrating this pain and suffering in typically a manageable way is what will make the the pain and suffering raise vibration and eventually be able to fully integrate and connect with positive thoughts and emotions. I am recovering from multiple psychological disorders and they are down 90%! If you have any of the disorders I mentioned or anything trauma related then try these methods yourselves! I am literally someone who could've spent his whole life in a psych ward suffering from insanity for if I hadn't owned my inner fears! If I can get to this point where I am now, then you can get there too! Peace. Tips: Write and say motivating affirmations that help you with facing the shadow like: I face all pain and fears and succeed in life. Do a form of shadow work, Face Method aka Negative Thought Integration, EFT, or Matrix Reimprinting for resistance to the method you are doing if you feel resistance to the idea of doing the method. Do what increases your motivation and vibe: David Goggins, for example, is a great speaker for that and more. Binaural and isochronic tones for positive vibes like 25hz which is great for confidence. Positive affirmations can be good but I believe mainly if you are using them as reimprinting. Positive Affirmations alone doesn't fully work the way you've been taught. For one doing Positive Affirmations only, this method can act as resistance and cause further problems. I know for a fact it caused most of my problems which I listed cause I would use them all the time creating a constant war in my mind, created resistance. So I highly recommend Reimprinting over Pure positive focus. Having passions are good too, I play rhythm and lead guitar, playing solos and riffs (Metallica, Led Zepplin, Megadeth and beyond), going to the gym 3-2 times a week. Lastly, check out this article This Doctor Dr. Heinz Valentin Hampejs claims Ayahuasca, a psychedelic drug which produces the same chemical our brains produce, DMT, that it has the potential of curing mental disorders from anxiety, depression, PTSD, OCD, dissociative disorders, schizophrenia and from my research by doing shadow work in the same time as the psychedelic trip. Many doctors and people talk about how the psychedelic drug or as the shamans call it in Peru La Medicana, "The Medicine" agreeing also to that it can cure mental disorders and I've heard in a week of ceremonies. In the same time, you want to be careful with the retreat that you'd go to if you're interested, that they have good reviews, and lastly if you feel ready for the experience. other version.
  4. Schooling Vs education We all know that the purpose of formal schooling today is accreditation but I always hated schools and college because I love freedom and I love learning on my own I hate being ordered what to learn and how I hate examinations I hate having to assist to classes or doing homework I love curiosity I love acting upon curiosity and follow what my intuition guide me to learn about and I love helping others I don't know what's my problem and where to fit in society with this character I would like to open a conversation about how and why schooling sucks today ? especially for someone on a spiritual quest to find out the truth of who she is and what a real education should looks like ?
  5. Phia

    Agoraphobia Has anyone here experienced Agoraphobia? and if so how do you overcome it and recover? For the past 3 years now I've had extreme anxiety and panic attacks when I try leaving my house. I haven't been able to leave my property in 3 years, I know obviously there is some sort of trauma and my body is trying to tell me something but I have no idea what that is so I don't know how to heal it. I live with my parents but they don't know how to handle my anxiety and neither do I. I know there must have been some sort of trauma that caused this but I can't figure out what it is. I don't get along with my parents at all, my father is emotionally abusive and bullies me all the time and my mom just gas lights my emotions and makes me feel bad for feeling the way I do. I used to love leaving my house just to spend time away from them and now being stuck living with them makes me feel like a prisoner, a prisoner in my own body. My friends all turned out to be fake friends and all left me when I couldn't hang out with them anymore do to my metal health and I feel my life is slipping away. I'm almost 23 years old now I was 20 when this all started and I'm worried I'll never get my life back, I feel like my life hasn't even gotten a chance to start yet and I'll never achieve my dreams. I see peoples lives go by when I'm online and it kills me inside to see them go to collage, get engaged and just LIVE and I am trapped from getting those things. My panic attacks happen so quickly when I leave my home I don't even get a chance to do the breathing exercises or EFT tapping that so many have recommended for anxiety. Please if someone could help me, this has taken 3 years of my life away, and I feel trapped. I know it's a unusual question to ask and maybe no one knows how agoraphobia feels or how to recover but I'm at the end of my rope. If anyone could help me I'd be so grateful. Thanks.
  6. Stages of life when we feel we regress and lose self and purpose G'day and peace Been going through a slight feeling of regression. From years in the big smoke. To being back in my home town. Dealing with the Psychosis that be. Negative elements acquired in life. Sitting at the folks. Wondering what I am gonna do in the future. I am there. But the elements of self such as bursts of optimism and happiness is less so. Can be dead depressed silent. Then burst out laughing. Depression does not equal the inability to laugh for me. I know who I am. My outlooks on life of a small amount of time before. But feel detached from them. Dont let situations like this be a time to delve into your own self pitty. A pessimistic view of life. The window is always there. The time to rebuild and grow. The teachings of all teachings. Set constantly within the path. Pulse
  7. Luiza

    I am new on the forum but I felt for sharing my biggest fear. I am quite flat and small breasts have always been an issue. My previous relationships were quite abusive. I work a lot on that now doing the shadow work and completion process. I feel that shame coming back. I have hidden inside me away from people because of it. I felt terrible pain for the bullying that I attracted. I have to go to the specialist stores to buy a bra and my social life stopped since I realized that I was a bit 'different'. I gave up. I felt jealous to all the girls around me in the school for being 'normal' and that only I was going through this shitty situation. I feel that I have not lived my life fully because of all the shame. I feel anxious in social situations. I've started going out again with people that I really like but I feel that shame coming back again. I don't know how I accustomed to the womanhood as I did not felt as a woman. I feel that having less on your chest is not attractive and finding a partner becomes really hard. Any ideas on why I have created myself this way and what would be the reason for it. I can't figure it out. Thank you.
  8. notfromthisplanet

    depression, anxiety, loneliness Hello there! I'm Alex. I'm severly depressed, extremely lonely and anxious and also schizotypal. Long story short, I have Complex PTSD and denying my feelings and emotions only led to this incredibly heavy apathy, which means having no interest in anything and being numb. I feel so numb, that I can't do anything, because nothing motivates me to change my life (even though I want to). I have no family and no friends. Psychotherapy didn't work, so here I am!I registered on this forum because I believe that, if there is someone that would want to talk to me at least 3 or 4 times a week via e-mail, I could be much less apathetic. For a very long time I wondered why I can't get motivated and do the things I want to do and live my life etc., and the only answer to this question is that there is no one to keep me accountable - and I really believe that's what I need right now.If I only could find someone that would listen to me venting and give me a ''feedback'' to my rant, it would be great! I need someone to encourage me and congratulate me when I deserve it. I need someone whom I can talk to about my everyday struggles. I also wish I could talk to that person about the things I like, about what I read and what music I listen to. It's the first time I ask for something like this on the internet and I hope that I can find the type of person I'm looking for.If there is someone like me out there that is looking for the same thing, I could definitely offer the same support!
  9. Choosing your partner I'm not really sure what my question is and I'm not really sure what I hope someone could say to make me feel better. About one year ago I posted on this same topic, I have progressed maybe a little. However, I have my regrets that I am trying to move past. The scenario is, I had two loves that I had to choose between (long story). I had the romantic option and the deep serious option. In the end, I said goodbye to the romantic option. There are many many days that I have regrets about it, and I ask myself "why couldn't I have enjoyed myself, let go, enjoy a romance" that would have lasted perhaps a decade or maybe two. I never saw myself growing old with him and so I tried to make the "responsible" decision to leave him. I am mad at myself for not allowing myself to enjoy him. Now I am with the serious one, the deep one. I care for him and he tries to be good to me. But sometimes I wonder if we are truly as compatible as I thought. We don't live together but have in the past and his messiness annoyed me and to be honest I think he is lazy, this annoys me too. We do have a special connection. I'm just not sure we will work out, yet strangely I always saw myself growing old with him. It is a conflict of living in the now. Ironically, I chose the person I envisioned in my future, and now here I am trying to live in the now...and questioning my choices. I just don't know. And I am exhausted form it all. Just looking for your observations on this, no specific question.
  10. Ramses Rodriguez

    Help- Anxiety caused by deadlines My friend tells me that he knows he has some sort of hang-up with respects to time. He told me that anytime he has a commitment to something, a deadline, or a favor to follow-through on, he gets a sense of panic. He freaks out in a sense. He is a chiropractor, a laboratory technical assistant, a professor, a cycling instructor, and an optician. He works constantly, probably over 60 hrs a week. I have brought this up to him: "maybe you are doing too much?" He says that he loves doing all his work but he is more frustrated with the chaos he feels when he has time crunches. I've brought up the idea that maybe he is keeping busy because he might be avoiding something, perhaps himself? He does meditate but lately has not given himself the quality of time he needs to really be present with himself. Could he be dealing with "self-sabotage" (in quotes because I do realize that self- sabotage doesn't really exist) caused by a fragmented self not wanting to be present? Could this be an addiction to stress? Please share any explanations, personal experiences or techniques that may help him out. I do care about this person but I see that he is isolating himself from life now! Best, Ramses Rodriguez
  11. My boyfriend is having financial issues Hey, good evening Haven't wrote or been on in a while, I always love it here. I love this community :). I'm having major anxiety for my bf because he is having issues with having steady work as he is an operator, but does not have a "great" job where he gets to work all year round. So his cheques have been coming up short from lack of snow(where I live it's snowy in the winter). And I'm wondering if anyone can read into my energy on this post, or have insight as to why myself am involved but not directly, and how I can overcome it, and maybe help him as well. I hate to see him suffer, and I am too. We don't live together he lives on his own, while his family is far, and I live with my mom still because I am a student. Thanks guys! Kels
  12. Talking on Love and Fear, and Isolation. If you have had trauma, abuse, ritual abuse, the most important thinking is to treat yourself with gentleness. Eventually, self love is possible. There is hope to overcome what has happened. There is always a way! More information how to heal:
  13. Jose Pagan

    Stomach Pain So since I was a child I remember always getting this extreme stomach pain from out of nowhere. I always seem to get it at the most random of times. The last time I remember this pain was when I was a freshman in high school, so 5 years ago. I've had lots of issues in that general area since then including appendicitis last summer. But this pain feels most similar to that time in my life. I eat pretty healthily now, back then I definitely did not. Anyone have an idea as to why I get so many issues in my stomach area and why this pain shows up when it does. I remember the first time I felt it I was young maybe 4 or 5. I ended up being just trapped gas but still why does my body build up gas at the most awkward of times. I have a job interview tomorrow so I feel like it might have something to do with that but I'm not sure. Maybe like stress or anxiety in big moments causes my stomach to stress and hold in gas for whatever reason. I hope not but that's most likely my resistance to that last statement. Any ideas or theories?
  14. Music in one of Teal's youtube videos Hi, can you please tell me who does the music to Teal's video Titled: "How to Stop a Panic Attack (Episode about Anxiety Attacks) - Teal Swan". I heard this music during a yoga class in Bali last year, it's very soothing and I'd like to purchase the CD. (Actually, the same music is in many of her videos in the beginning) I cannot find it online, thanks! Sarah
  15. anaa

    anxiety Hi, so I have Obsessive Compulsive Disorder and when I try to use an OCD anxiety spike (an obsessive thought and then the urge to perform a compulsion) for the 2nd step of the process, going into the feeling, I feel like I get stuck. I feel like maybe there's something else underneath the anxiety, but sometimes the emotion will dissolve when I try to feel it, but I know it will come back and hasn't really gone. Anxiety/OCD is like my constant companion; having something inside my head every single day telling me that I'm bad, to feel guilty, to do things over and over and over again and not feeling like I can trust my own memory or thoughts, makes me feel like I don't know what's real. Does anyone else suffer from OCD, or does anyone else get stuck on a particular emotion, and if so what do you do?
  16. Rainbow22

    Anxiety/Social Anxiety Hi, what is everyones best treatment for anxiety and social anxiety? ive tried a few different routes but none have ever really helped. Are there any supplements, herbs or natural products that really help? thanks
  17. Spirituality and OCD I feel that I am not doing visualizations properly. I was going to send somebody an energy gift, but I had some intrusive thoughts at the time that I didn't want to send them something with a string of negative energy. When I do visualizations I am not in control of the intrusive thoughts that distort my vision, be it an imagined place of safety, or a memory. I have not been not diagnosed with OCD, but it has been recognized that I do have symptoms. When I tried to do the Completion Process I am often afraid of accidentally killing my child self, setting fire to my safe place, or everything drowned in darkness, and sometimes it happens, but I quickly try to recreate the image. It only happens for a second, but I don't know if it damages the potency of the visualization after that happens... I want to create a safe place in my mind, but I cannot seem to do it without intrustive thoughts. Does this happen to everyone? Do people just acknowledge it and move on?
  18. badbananacat

    Life and death is scary Hi I don't really know to put this so I'm just going to type quickly. I'm freaking out right now. I've had 2 panic attacks about this before. I think life is scary; I mean why does it even exist? I feel like I'm in a computer game that I can't ever escape and that has no purpose. I know what Teal says about us being one, us being here for expansion, source, "what happens after death" and all that. But it still doesn't make any sense!! WHY THE HELL has life created it self?!! ... at night my thoughts about this get even worse. I can't sleep and I worry that I'm going to die in my sleep. Something I've wondered a lot about; if everything that ever exists is me then aren't I in reality lonely? And why even live forever if all that's ever gonna be is pain? Please somebody help, I think I'm having another anxiety attack right now. And this "Big shift" everyone talks about scares me even more. I'm afraid that life will start to like a "dream"; not in the good way but dizzy and not real. I wake up a lot during the night and I feel dizzy or surreal and I see glimpses in the darkness which freaks me out even more and I'm afraid that's what life's gonna feel like after the shift and forever more. And the thing Teal talks about with being more than one persona bc of trauma scares me too. Bc then who am I???? As you may see I worry A LOT and it makes it even worse that no one else knows what it's like; it seems like no one else thinks that this thing called life is HELLA SCARY. I've tried talking my mom about it and she listens, but ofc she can't save me (and I can't tell her everything bc then she would think I'm crazy). I've been to the school psycologist bc of the panic attacks and told her a little bit about these thoughts, but she just told me to stop reading and watching videos about spirituality. And yeah ofc it seems obvious to do that, but even if I did it wouldn't stop the thoughts from occuring. I know that none of you can save me from the terror, but I was just hoping for relief by writing this down and maybe some of you had something to share to make me realize something what than what my mind tells me???
  19. psychedelics for depression and anxiety What are the best psychedelics for depression and anxiety ?
  20. Nemo


  21. Compulsive Lying - The why and How it started Have you ever crossed paths with someone who you think is genuine only to find out that nothing about them is true? I'm just wondering how compulsive lying comes about in a person. What may have happened in a persons life to make them so insecure about themselves and see so little of themselves that they would fracture this part of themselves off and feel the need to create a barrier of this sort? What does it mean when someone lis compulsively? How has it come about and how can it be helped? How can the damages/trauma of a persons past/past life be repaired? Any thoughts?
  22. lutinbleu

    Healing Crisis Sometimes I get so amazed at how I feel like I've come a long way. I feel like I've finally learned how to fully allow myself to dive deep and feel an amazing feeling of joy and peace after releasing very old traumas. And most days this year I've been able to say that I felt a little bit happier/fuller than the previous one. Though sometimes things get so out of control I feel like that's all BS and that I've actually gone nowhere, like today. I've always struggled with self-worth issues. Growing up I had an handicapped younger brother and my mother used to pretty much always take care of him and put him first, never had time to play with me. He made me so angry, but that anger was deeply repressed under a feeling of shame because "come on, he's handicapped. He needs more attention than you do." I've come to realize how this has created a pattern in my life where in literally every relationship (school, friends, love...) I've always felt like fun and respect was for the others and not for me. I've conditioned myself all my life to always, ALWAYS put other people first. Every time someone would be unfairly mean to me, I wouldn't get angry. I've been picked on at school forever and never had the guts to defend myself. I think I can say I've never had any genuine friend since all those who could've been a good match with me I ended up rejecting because I felt unworthy of being respected and loved and because I felt like the fact that they had some kind of interest in me made them losers. The only person I could get angry with was my sister whom I feel so sorry to have used as an emotional punching bag for all my childhood because she was the only one whom I know would still love me even if I was mean to her. So yeah, 2 days ago I tried doing inner child work and tried to visualize the "perfect" parents give that attention and sense of self-worth to the parts of me that have always craved it. I did feel some kind of relief (nothing grandiose though, but still something). Though yesterday night, I feel like all the resistance I had towards this feeling decided to get out of the pandora's box. I felt intense feelings of total and complete loneliness and abandonment (both from self and others), shame, despair. It was so out of control anxiety started kicking in on top of it. I spend the whole night switching between laying down and sitting in fetus pose, I couldn't sleep at all. I felt so powerless to these feelings. The more I tried to connect with them the scarier I got and the more I tried to calm and ground myself the scarier I got as well. I felt so exhausted and restless at the same time. Even today I barely ate anything, had to call sick at work since I felt like less than a pile of crap and none of my naps have been successful. I even did a distant Reiki session with my Reiki Master. It did calm me a bit but not for too long. Anyway, part of me just felt like talking about it. It's like one of the very few ways I found to give me some kind of relief. But maybe somebody could enlighten me on the subject of Healing Crisis'? I'm not quite sure to understand this concept fully but I'd like to know from others' personal experiences. Maybe that could help me not feel like I'm going utterly insane the next time it happens. Some tips would be great as well. Thank you <3 -Fred
  23. Meditation Dread - Please Help :( Hello everyone I'm seeking the advice of someone more experienced than myself regarding meditation and connecting to ones higher self. To clarify here, I'm not new to meditation but this is a new problem. Over the last couple of years I suppose I've experienced a kind of rejection of my spiritual self, as far as thats possible. I've experienced some trauma (who hasn't) including the death of my sister and a lot of family problems. The love of my life was diagnosed with a life threatening disease a few months ago and I suppose I started to lose hope and reject the fact that we are Creators. Currently it feels as if all of my chakras are completely blocked. The only one I feel some slow movement in is my heart chakra. I'm trying desperately to start a process of healing, to work with my chakras and to reconnect with my higher self. Ive never felt more disconnected and lost in my life. The only way I really know how to do this is through meditation. The problem I'm having is that for the past few months every time I try to meditate I'm consumed by a feeling if overwhelming dread. It feels like I'm sinking. All I want to do is scream or run away. This seems to happen regardless of the meditation type. Why? I just don't understand. I've tried to just accept the feeling and allow it. It doesn't help at all. It continues to worsen until I can't bear it anymore. I've tried to question it and discover the source and it helps nothing. I've tried journalling and a few of Teals processes. I've tried this repeatedly for months and it just isn't improving. I don't know what to do anymore. I don't know what's wrong with me and I can't deal with feeling this way anymore. What should I do?
  24. Heavy panic attacks Hello community, a while ago, I posted something about fear, in which I stated that I had panic attacks around the thought of getting really ill. It got worse since then, and the topic changed. I am afraid of killing my mother for some reason. While the thought of harming someone is bad enough, the panic gets worse, because I am worried of losing control over myself. I am certain, that nothing will happen, but as soon as I get near my mother or think of her, I get these really bad panic attacks. Please help me! This feeling is unbearable! PS: I don't think Teals video on panic attacks really applies, because I don't think you would compare a plane crashing to commiting a serious crime PPS: I am currently taking Mirtazapine. I started taking 15 milligrams about two weeks ago. Maybe that information could help.
  25. Raphael

    Feeling Stuck Hello dear Teal Tribers, I am new to this forum, and I'd like to say Hello to everyone! My Name is Raphael and since School, even earlier I felt, there is something strange about this reality, rather how people would interact with me. I find it extremely difficult to communicate, because I cannot share my inner self to almost everyone, because it seems to me that there is a lack of openness. It seems to be rather about to become someone, than truly understanding who we already ARE. I felt isolated, and ever since it only got worse. I met some spiritual people, and it opened up a bit, but it seems I cannot really connect. Now I am stuck since 2 Years at my parents place, not studying, not working, because I don't fit in. Tried it...different story. I need money to move out, I need to get to other people. But I just cannot feels like I am not getting out of this How to get out of this isolation?! Much love Raphael