It doesn’t take me to tell you that society values different things in woman and men and that the things they value in each, are ranked. And it is absolutely a reality that the thing human society values the most in men, is wealth. People want men to be providers first and foremost. We may not like that fact. We may think it should be different. We may argue that wealth corrupts. We may argue that woman can make their own money now, and so it is less important for a man to be the earner. You may argue that for you there are other more important things than for a man to be wealthy. But all of this resistance is not going to get us anywhere because it is a refusal to accept that this is still the way things are. It is still a reality that in the world today, the most valued thing in a man, is wealth. 

What does all this mean? It means that when a man is wealthy, people see value in him. He has a thing of power. He is esteemed within society. And so, people assume that he has it all and that he is happy. Or at least he should be. All the focus and attention in society is placed on why it is so hard to be a man who does not have money. That is a story that has been told over and over again. You already know that story. But you don’t know the other one. Because of this, for the sake of awareness, today I’m going to outline for you why it is so hard to be a wealthy man.

1. Wealth is a trigger to the egos of other people. Similar to beauty and fame. It activates the human ego. When the ego is triggered, it creates zero sum games, whereby it does not consider the other person’s best interests. As a result, wealthy men are taught systematically that they cannot trust others. People so often play zero sum games with them. ALL of the negative manifestations of the human ego are amplified in those who come into contact with a wealthy man. Here are just some examples: Greed, exploitation, manipulation, lying, negative use, parasitic dynamics, power games and struggles, negative ambition, jealousy, resentment, envy, negative competition, projection, blame, criticism, judgment, bragging, the fight for superiority, and betrayal. Because of this, wealthy men see a side to people that other people don’t see. And not a good one. Wealth really reveals the worst in other people. 
2. You live a life of exploitation. Because almost every single person thinks they can personally benefit somehow from your money and subsequently your power and from being associated with you, their relationship with you becomes about what they can get from you and how they can use you or their association with you. You become a means to an end for people. You will be used unfairly and associated with for their advantage. People will constantly try to get money out of you. In fact, you will start to feel like you are just one big opportunity object in other people’s reality that they use to gain an advantage for themselves. And there is yet another layer to the exploitation. People will exploit your vulnerabilities, things such as weaknesses and needs and pains in order to be able to secure a relationship with you, so that they can use you for their advantage. This means to live as a wealthy man is to live with constant distrust. And even in some cases, paranoia.  
3. Wealth can be a real barrier to connection. It can be an intensely isolating thing. By becoming a wealthy man, you drastically decrease your odds of finding people who are compatible to you. Including a partner. You also decrease your odds of finding people who love you in that they take you as a part of themselves and are concerned for your best interests. Because so many people want a man with money in their lives, they are unconcerned with whether they are compatible to you or not in other, very important ways. It turns into an everyone wants me, but no one wants me dynamic. So, you’re essentially looking for a needle in a haystack. On top of this, because so many people think they can gain an advantage from being in a relationship with you, your relationships will be very transactional only (albeit not consciously transactional). And the other pillar of relationships, which is love, may be missing entirely. Wealthy men tend to feeling like caring about the other person will be a one- way deal. And this spells really serious relationship pain. This is very serious because relationships are the heart of life. You cannot have a good life and have painful relationships, no matter how much money you have. This is the main reason why wealthy men end up miserable despite “having everything”. Being a wealthy man is an intensely isolating experience full of painful and fragile connections. They are not seen. They are lonely, surrounded by others who are vying to be with them. 
4. In this same vein, it is very hard for wealthy men to feel any security in terms of relationships. Deep down, wealthy men feel that their security in a relationship is based on them having wealth and not only that, continuing to up the ante. People acclimatize to what they have. And this makes it so a wealthy man feels the need to keep providing more and more, better and better; lest the person lose interest and go for someone who has more and can provide even better. When security in a relationship is based on what and how much they do for someone else financially, it feels really scary and the relationship security feels fragile. Deep down they tend to wonder, what is valuable about me beyond what I do and have? But they feel there is no real point to answering the question because it wouldn’t really matter because all anyone really values, is what they do and what they have. It’s at this point that they succumb to the split of on the one hand, accepting this reality because “I guess this is how the world is… I would do better to just accept it is the only way I can get anyone to want me.” And flaunt their wealth. Or, to hide their wealth so they can test if people care. Both is painful. Both is a constant state of distrust and insecurity. Just like there is a constant pressure for a beautiful woman to maintain her beauty, there is a constant pressure for a wealthy man to maintain a certain lifestyle and even, to keep upping that lifestyle. This is a lot of pressure. And it is pressure that makes relationships feel really insecure.  
5. It is very hard for wealthy men to develop a deep sense of who they are beyond what they do as well as security in terms of self-esteem. Because of the reflection they keep getting, their identity revolves around what they do and what they have. And their self-esteem becomes about money and the skills with which they get that money. Because of this, there tends to be a real confusion about who they really are, if you took the making of money out of the equation of their lives. It begs the question, who am I beyond what I do and what I have? Wealthy men tend to be dependent on the wealth they have for esteem. Loving what they get from it. While at the same time, hating it. It’s a love hate relationship. Because of all this, there is terror about losing money. And also, the sense that there can never be enough of it. There is always someone else with more wealth. They feel they must keep making more and becoming more and more wealthy. They can’t relax into anything they have. They keep having to up the ante to compensate for the emptiness they feel. Quite unexpectedly, this means that those who are wealthy, obsess over money. This emptiness is created because no one sees, feels, hears or understands them. And they are never encouraged to see, feel, hear or understand themselves. Wealthy men tend to live in a void regarding intimacy, especially emotional intimacy. This difficulty with regards to developing a sense of who they are beyond what they do and have, makes wealthy men especially prone to mid-life crisis. 
6. When relationships go south and people realize they may lose the “resource” of you, they tend to play a mad zero-sum game to try to get the most out of you that they possibly can. They try to suck you dry. They try to take you for as much as you’re worth. It is very hard for a wealthy man to not end up with an enemy when friendships or work relationships go south and even harder for them to maintain a friendly relationship with someone they were romantically involved with because of this dynamic. Relationship rupture, regardless of what type of relationship it is, is very dangerous for a wealthy man.                 
7. Wealthy men are consistently fed the mixed message that on the one hand, they are the answer to people’s dreams and desires. That they are valuable and wanted and needed and esteemed. And on the other hand, that they are the problem and that they are what is wrong with the world. That they are what is making people suffer. Many wealthy men feel guilt and even philanthropic panic when they see the financial struggles of others. Especially so when it is held over their head.       
8. People have a negative association with wealthy men, despite it being the most valued thing in a male. They associate being a wealthy man with being an ass hole. A narcissistic one at that. They also assume you are unreachable, not human, not deep and materialistic. Facing this social judgement is not a recipe for a feel-good life. 
9. Privacy issues. Wealth attracts attention and makes you significant to the public. This makes privacy difficult to protect. It makes you a target for the press and a target for public slaughter by anyone who feels slighted by you.  
10. Your heart hurts consistently due to the entitlement in other people. People feel entitled to your money when you have a lot of it. When you are a wealthy man, people have expectations that you will pay for everything all the time and that you will do the things that will benefit them financially. It is treated as an obligation. You’re set up in a lose-lose because of this because it doesn’t feel good to simply go along with this expectation. But, if you don’t, you’re seen and treated as a bad guy. And people have all kinds of justifications for this. From believing that wealthy people gained money through advantages not available to everyone to believing their wealth makes them better able to contribute to believing that with increased wealthy comes increased responsibility for those who don’t have wealth and more. People believe that this expectation is fair. But is it fair?       
11. The risk of law suits, scams, fraud and swindlers. To be a wealthy man is to be a resource that people can take advantage of. This makes everything a potential lawsuit. This puts you at risk for scams. This makes you a target for fraud. If people think they can get money out of you, many are simply looking for the opportunity to claim they are a victim to you, so that they can get money out of you. They think that because you are rich, nothing they do to you can harm you. After all, what’s a hundred thousand to a man who has millions. And a wealthy man who is not constantly on guard about this, is in real danger. So, a wealthy man will have to be on guard almost always.
12. Life complexity. The life of a wealthy man tends to be incredibly complex and stressful. People would think the opposite. But this is because they have no real feeling for the reality of wealth. I’m going to put you into the perspective of a wealthy man in this regard. Say I have to figure out what to do with the money I have. This means I need to weed through what is and isn’t right to do. I need to hire experts to tell me what the best thing to do is, but they don’t agree. So what do I do? Accountants must be hired. I bought a house. I had to hide my identity or they would research me and wouldn’t take my offer. Now, I have to take care of a house. Only, I can’t. I’m too busy. So, now I need to hire a house manager, who will in turn hire more people. Now I have a house staff. Now I’m responsible for this staff. I decided to buy a business, that business must be staffed. I have no one to manage this business at the moment, so I have to fill in. Now I’m responsible for a staff. Oh wait, I never knew that if one of my staff claimed they were made to worked two extra hours, even though I never told her to do that, she could turn me into the authorities and make me pay double. Now I need a lawyer. I invested in a company. I need to attend board meetings. I’m not sure this company is headed in the right direction. Now I need to have a handful of meetings about it, and maybe even call a board meeting. Damn the only time they can meet is right over the holidays. This is gonna cause a huge conflict with my family. Maybe I should put your money in an off shore account. Wait, maybe this will mean I am in trouble for tax fraud. Now I need to hire tax experts. I have no time to read up on tax law. One expert is coming over to the house in an hour, Wait, I need to brief the security guard about that. I needed to hire one of those because last week by the way because someone attempted to kidnap my daughter for ransom. How did my life get so complicated? You get the picture.
13. Aimlessness. Many wealthy men, especially those who have retired, or those who were born into money, suffer from a real sense of empty, lost, meaningless, aimlessness. The usual motivator for people to work hard and achieve goals and go in a certain direction is gone. There can be a real lack of purpose and drive. Intrinsic motive can be very hard to find for many wealthy men. And this creates a kind of lostness. It does not feel good for anyone in life to move through the world with no clear north star.            
14. The pain of a wealthy man is not acknowledged. Society has no interest in hearing about the pains and sorrows of wealthy men. Their pains attract scorn. Their pain is treated like the tears of the king. People suffer a lot. And wealthy men are no exception. They suffer a lot. But people believe that wealthy men are too blessed to be hurt. So, their pain is never seen, heard, felt or acknowledged.

Becoming aware means perceiving the full reality of things. And people are not perceiving the full reality of what it is to be a wealthy man. As if being a wealthy man means they have nothing to cry about. The pain of wealthy men is usually completely unseen. But hopefully now, you can see it.