We create our individual realities with our individual minds. We are responsible for our own joy and our own suffering. It is easy to then see how, when we encounter negative experiences and feel the subsequent negative emotions that follow, we think that something has gone terribly wrong. We feel as if we have failed or hit a wall. We even try to structure our lives so that we never encounter negative experiences and don't experience negative emotion. The problem with living life that way is that negative experiences are a "step one experience" and negative emotion is your compass guiding you from step one to step three.
A "step one experience", which is often called a contrasting experience, is an experience that exposes to you what you don't like and inspires the idea of a preference. A "step two experience" is the process of lining up with the preference. A "step three experience" is fully, tangibly experiencing the manifestation (achievement) of that preference.
The way this plays out in our physical lives is that when we have a negative experience (step one experience), we find out what we do not like and that inspires us towards what we'd prefer. We then (through thought and subsequent action) line up with what we'd prefer and go in the direction of it (we create a step two experience). When we reach alignment with it, we get to experience the tangible, real life manifestation of our preference (we have a step three experience).
Looking at the aforementioned scenario, it is easy to see how the step three experiences would not even be possible without the step one experience. Without the negative experience, no desire and no improvement would ever be born within you. And if no desire or idea of improvement were born within you, there would be no forward movement at all. There would be nothing to move away from and nothing to move toward. There would be no personal expansion. It would be impossible to even create much less experience the sweetness of a step three experience.
But why is this important on a universal level and not just a personal level? Because when we give birth to a preference, the universe becomes that preference vibrationally. This is called expansion. In other words, the universe, or that which we call God, is being told what to become by you in your physical life. Our desire of the preferences we give birth to is what causes the expansion of this universe. And it is because of this that from the largest of perspectives, negative experiences and negative emotions are just as integral and important as positive ones.
Is it not true that a condition that inspires you towards a question is as integral and important as a condition that helps you line up with the answer? The negative people and events in our lives are responsible for catalyzing us to ask for and become more. A person or event that inspires you towards the question is as valuable as a person or event that helps you reach the answer. For this reason we can say that from the broadest of perspectives, your enemy is every bit as much a friend to you as someone who helps you to line up with your joy. Your enemy is helping you to paint the picture of what your joy even looks like. Your enemies and your negative experiences are potentially the most important parts of your ability to experience expansion in your life. And so we come to find that a thing which is truly non beneficial and negative can not exist within this universe in the same way that an enemy can not exist within this universe.
The universe at large would never make an enemy of that which we call "negative". And neither should we. The universe would never want you to resist negative. And neither should we. When we understand that negative experiences simply exist in order to show us what we would prefer, we do not need to fear them like we do. When we understand that it is always within our power to create a step two experience, we do not need to feel powerless to them like we do. And we do not need to demand that we don't experience them. We do not need to demand that we only experience step three experiences. That is not what you intended for this life at all. It is the step one experience that makes the step three experience… sweet. It is the step one experience that makes the step three experience… possible.
So next time you find yourself in negative experience, remind yourself that nothing has gone wrong, you are just having a step one experience. Then ask yourself, what is step three? What is it that this situation is causing me to desire? What preference has this event caused me to give birth to? How can I move towards that?
You can move towards step three by finding step two. Step two is only accessible in the space of now. Step two is the process of lining up with the desires that step one has caused you to give birth to. And how do you line up with your desires? By caring how you feel and tuning into how you feel so much so that you can let your emotions lead you. How do you let your emotions lead you? By realizing that right here and now all that is available to you is this decision: Does it feel better or worse? For example, does this thought that I'm thinking feel better or worse? What thought feels better? Does this thing I'm doing (or about to do) feel better or worse? What feels better to do? Does this thing I'm saying (or about to say) feel better or worse? What feels better to say?
Every time we opt in the direction of what feels better (in terms of thoughts or words or actions), we are creating a step two experience, and we are headed in the direction of step three. Every time we opt in the direction of what feels worse, we are anchoring ourselves to step one. And when we anchor ourselves to step one, the negative emotion telling us that it is time to move towards step three, becomes suffering.
You did not come here to suffer. Suffering is what happens when you have had a step one experience, and you are not letting yourself move in the direction of step two and step three. You did however come here to experience this contrasting physical dimension. What it means to say that you came here to experience a contrasting environment, is that you came here to experience both what you do want and what you do not want. A contrasting environment is what helps you to make choices. A contrasting environment is what helps you to create, which is what you came here to do.
You could not create and experience joy without the idea of pain. You could not create and experience a friend without the idea of an enemy. You could not create and experience white without the idea of black. The polarity of this world was a design based on the knowledge that in your contrasting moments of deepest imprisonment, you give birth to your ideas of truest freedom. So nothing has gone wrong if you find yourself feeling negative emotion in a negative experience. You are just having a step one experience. Now you get to ask yourself… what's step three?