What If I Don't Trust The Universe, Because I Feel Like The Universe Is Against Me? - Teal Swan Articles - Teal Swan Jump to content

What If I Don't Trust The Universe, Because I Feel Like The Universe Is Against Me?

Now if you’re one of these people who trusts that the universe or God has your best interests at heart and is always taking you in the direction of your highest good, then mentally give yourself a gold star. That there is just one less thing you have to worry about and you can consider yourself very lucky in the beliefs department. But if some of us are honest with ourselves, we do not feel this way at all. We feel like the universe is against us. Our lives feel like a very scary dance whereby we feel the odds are stacked against us and that it pleases the universe to watch us suffer. Every positive thing that comes into our lives is viewed as a cruel trick that will turn into a source of suffering. Our futures seem harrowing and bleak.
The best way to describe this highly subconscious mentality is that we are in a deadly chess game against the universe at large. We try to outmaneuver, overpower, placate, please and bargain with the universe, because the universe is not our ally. It is our adversary. And we end up tormented because we are playing against something much bigger than ourselves. Where there literally is no way to win. If this is our reality, we have a terrible relationship with the universe we live in. Yet it’s a relationship we can’t escape. Life is terrorizing. Think of a fish that lives in water, but is convinced the water is trying to torture it. We start to believe that life is about suffering. We look around our world at all the suffering that is going on and then that suffering becomes more proof of it.
This belief pattern begins in the earliest experiences we have in life. Its roots are deeply entrenched in trauma. Some children are “lucky”. The conditions of their gestation and birth and upbringing are nurturing. For some of us however, this is simply not the case. Some of us came to mothers who themselves felt the universe was against them and began to adopt this frequency while in the womb. Some of us had traumatic birth experiences. Some of us had parents who were less than nurturing. The result is that we believe that we are powerless to powers that be; powers that did not have our best interest at heart. Life itself began to feel inhospitable. Even though the experiences vary that create this pattern of mentality in our subconscious minds, the most common trauma I see creating this thought pattern is a pattern that begins with either one or both of our parents. Parents are supposed to be advocates. They are supposed to be on our sides. But if we have this pattern of not trusting God and thinking the universe is against us, it usually means that we felt like one (or both) of our parents was against us. They were an adversary. Many times, this parent acted as an adversary unintentionally and even thought they were being an advocate to us by being adversarial. So it is not usually a sinister dynamic. But nonetheless, it imbued us with the idea that this parent did not have our best interest at heart and in fact we had to try to feel good in spite of them.
When we are young, our parents are something that is much bigger, wiser, stronger and capable than us. They meet our needs. In essence, our parents are our Gods. And then we grow up. Since we now live at adult capacity, our God usually becomes more like the God that is recognized by mainstream religion or spirituality. An omnipotent consciousness. Because this omnipotent consciousness is larger than us and wiser than us and stronger than us and more capable than us, we view it as an authority figure. And so our subconscious mind searches through its rolodex for its current definition and expectation of authority figure and it then superimposes that definition and expectation over the top of the new concept we have of God. This is the point at which you had better hope your parents felt like advocates instead of adversaries. Because if your first authority figures felt like adversaries, God will feel like an adversary to you as well. Everything will be viewed through the lens of how the universe is against you instead of for you.
Make a list of the things you disliked and liked the most about each of your parents individually. Then look at those lists and see how this is the expectation you have of God. If you had a confusing mother, you’re apt to be confused by God. If you were punished by your father, you will most likely expect punishment from the universe and so on and so forth. You will find that you usually project the parent that had the most authority in the household over your concept of God the most.
Now this issue of distrusting the universe is only compounded if you suffer further trauma and disappointment and pain in your life. With each hardship, this belief digs in deeper and deeper. This is compounded further if you are raised in a religion whose idea of god mirrors that of a punitive parent whom you have to please or else there is a consequence. And one day, it doesn’t matter if some missionaries show up on your doorstep and tell you “God loves you”. It doesn’t matter what spiritual teacher professes to you the benevolence of the universe. You may want to believe it, but you don’t. And there is one glaring mystery that is left ricocheting around in your mind, nagging you incessantly… “If God is benevolent and loves me and is on my side, then why did those things happen to me? Why would an omnipotent god let me suffer like that or like this?” We can take this further and apply it to things we are witnessing in the world. If God is omnipotent and loves us, why does God let children be abused, women be raped, men get blown to bits in wars, natural disasters happen, animals get slaughtered etc.
Rather than wander off into the land of hypothetical answers that spiritual people usually give to answers like this, it is best to simply work towards developing a better one on one relationship with God or the universe or whatever you want to call this omnipotent consciousness. I don’t want to sit here trying to convince you that God is on your side, it’s obnoxious to hear and you have mountains of proof to the contrary. So… instead, I want you to consider and attempt the following:
1. I want you to get out a piece of paper and write down all the proof you can think of for God or the universe being against you. And with each item of proof, I want you to “shoot holes in the evidence”. This means, think of ways that each item of proof is not actually good proof that the universe is against you. Involve other people in this process if you just can’t see how to shoot holes in the evidence. If you feel that the universe is against you, you feel like a victim to circumstances. So without slipping into self-blame, look for the ways that you helped create those circumstances. What choices did you make that helped to create those circumstances. Also, try to see how each item of proof might instead be proof that the universe is FOR you. How did each thing benefit you?
2. Start a “How God Is On My Side” Journal. This is an advanced version of the synchronicity journal. You have to write down how God helped you. Start with your past and then gradually make this a daily thing. Every day, you have to write how God was on your side. For example, let’s say you rolled your car. This could seem like God is against you. But what if you rolled your car on the one patch of dirt that was on the highway? Or what if a plumber flooded your basement and the floors had to be redone, but you already wanted to re do them and now, you don’t have to be the one to pay for it? These are two ways the universe is on your side. What even worse scenario could have happened but didn’t? When we feel like the universe is against us, we ignore the ways the Universe is on our side and focus on how it is against us. I’ll give you a tip, you want to look for the silver lining. Even little things that you feel gratitude for, like a flower in the sidewalk, are ways the universe is adding to your happiness and is therefore on your side. And yes, synchronicities are ways the universe is on your side too.
3. Start to open up dialogue with God or The Universe. To understand how to do this, watch my YouTube video titled “Letters to God” 4. Consider the following… You are indivisible from the universe and thus you are an extension of God. And as such, what reflects in the universe at large is a reflection of us. And so, instead of “The Universe is Against Me” consider the truth “I am against me.” How is this true? Think of all the ways the universe is against you. Does it kick you while you’re down? Does it take everything you love away from you? Does it expect perfection from you and punish you when you fail? How are you doing each of these things to yourself?
5. If you feel that the universe is against you, you do not trust that the universe has your best interest at heart. And because the universe is a reflection of you, you can guarantee that you do not trust yourself. Most of all, you do not trust yourself to keep yourself emotionally safe. So developing self-trust is crucial. For this reason, I want you to watch my video on YouTube titled: “How To Trust Yourself”.
6. Right your perceived wrongs. There is no right or wrong within this universe. That is a judgment that the universe does not make. But it doesn’t matter. If we think the universe is against us, we are living according to right and wrong and for now; we must work within that belief structure. If we feel the universe is against us, we feel powerless and usually very guilty. Why else would the universe punish us? So I want you to think about what exactly it is that you did that was so wrong. What did you do that was wrong enough to displease God or the universe? Now, take your power back by figuring out how you could make up for those perceived wrongs. How could you make it better or demonstrate that you are correcting your mistakes? And once you find out the answer, take action. Make positive lifestyle changes.
It must be said that many of us feel God is against us, not because of something that we did specifically but because of something wrong or bad that we are. This is called Shame. If you struggle with shame, watch My Video on YouTube Titled: “How to Overcome Shame”.
7. Meditate. Meditation allows you to actually experience God or the universe at large beyond your mind and emotions. Much of what anyone tells you about the goodness of the universe cannot be just heard and accepted, it must be directly experienced. Being disciplined about meditation every day is one of the best ways to do that. Try out all kinds of different meditation techniques to find the one that works best for you specifically.
8. Recognize that if we could not get much positive attention from our parents, we most likely latched onto negative attention because it is still attention. Any kind of attention is better than being ignored. So there is a bit of an incentive to believing the universe is against you. If the universe is against you, it must mean you have a bit of power and that you matter. Why would the universe go to all that trouble for someone who posed no threat and who did not matter?
9. When we feel that the universe is against us, it is usually because of a disappointment or a string of disappointments. We make disappointment mean that the powers that be are against us being happy. And yes, we make it a very individual thing with this belief: “Disappointing things happen to me and not to others”. You can bet that we struggled with disappointment as children and have not achieved resolution about those disappointments yet. We also expect disappointment in the future so we worry and succumb to catastrophic thinking as well. For this reason I want you to watch my YouTube videos titled: “Disappointment (How to Get Over Disappointment)”, “How To Stop Worrying” and “Catastrophizing”.
We also need to look for the ways that disappointing things do happen to other people, not just us and that it is devastating to them as well when it does. This helps us to not feel so singled out. If you need, you can ask people to reveal their disappointments to you as well as how it made them feel.
10. Alter your perspective about ‘negative’. We live in a happy obsessed world. Anything less than happy is not ok. This is because we have learned that it is not ok to feel. Therefore, when we get into really low spaces where we are in pain, we try to do anything we can to feel different and get happy this minute. But in these low vibrational places struggling to feel better is like struggling to escape a spider’s web. The more you struggle, the more stuck you get. We need to instead see that these dark nights of the soul might actually be necessary. They might actually be a springboard for a much better place in life. When we are really struggling, what is usually happening is that we are in a phase of deep healing. Things are coming up to be faced and cleared. These are phases of metamorphosis. Think of it as a purification process. And can you know 100% that you shouldn’t be feeling bad? Perhaps this is the universe helping you to see and clear the blocks you have between you and bliss.
11. If we feel that the universe is against us, we feel unsafe and unprotected. We feel conspired against. We feel targeted. For this reason, I want you to Watch My YouTube video titled: “Psychic and Energetic Protection”
12. If we feel like the universe is against us, we do not truly believe we create our own reality. We may want to believe that, but we do not yet. We believe the world happens TO us. We do not see that thought turns into things. So it is time to actually put manifestation to the test. Start with something small. Something you do not have much strong positive or negative emotion about. Like chickens. Focus on chickens, visualize chickens, imagine then with as much clarity as you can muster. And then watch for how they show up in your reality. You’ve got to prove to yourself that you can create reality to stop fearing that the universe is going to create your life for you and so you are helpless to whether the universe thinks you should or shouldn’t get to experience what you want.
Ultimately, you are not separate from God, Source, The Universe or whatever you want to call it. This omnipotent consciousness permeates all life; all things are made of it. Even as Jesus spoke of being the son of God, his words when translated lost their meaning. The word he was using is more accurately translated to “continuation of” or “extension of” which is how they saw progeny back then. What does this mean? It means God does not differentiate between itself and you. You are essentially a microcosm of the whole of that which we call God. And as such, you are imbued with the same power to create and to choose. This is the heart of free will. This is why God does not judge whether what you create is right or wrong or whether what you chose to focus on is right or wrong. This world is an impartial, neutral reflection of what we choose to focus on and think about. This means, if we carry around belief patterns that the world is against us, the universe will reflect situations to us that feel that way. And why would God intervene and stop us from this suffering? Because it would mean that God judged our belief, choice or creation as wrong. It cannot hold that perspective. It is through our experience of thinking, having those thoughts reflected to us and deciding what we would prefer that God even knows what it is or isn’t. God is in a process of self-actualization by projecting forth into different perspectives, in your case a different human perspective. There is no pre-determined state of perfection to reach. God cannot see any aspect of itself as powerless. If you are not separate from God, but instead an extension of God with your own perspective and free will, why would God doubt your inner guidance so much as to stop all the bad things from happening here? These things would not happen if there was not some purpose for them happening. And when we judge all negative feeling things as bad, we mentally acknowledge that they shouldn’t be happening and that there is no purpose for them. We miss the gift inherent in the experience.
Often years after disappointments and painful circumstances occur, we look back and because hindsight is 20-20, we can clearly see how the very thing we thought was the road to our demise, was the road to our freedom and joy. This is when we begin to see that everything comes to bless us to the degree that we begin to trust instead of distrust God. It is highly unfair for you to expect yourself to see this while your smack in the middle of a seemingly unfair and tragic circumstance. So don’t force yourself to be grateful for something you truly are not grateful for. Instead develop an openness to the possibility that one day you will see the greater divine purpose in all of this and that it just might be different than you think. It takes practice to change a belief that we have lots of proof for. Chances are, you’re not going to wake up one day and instantly feel the love that God or this universe holds for you and feel that everything is on your side. But you can begin to develop a different relationship with God or the universe and begin to see and feel its connection to you and by doing so begin to live in a state of peace with the universe. I challenge you today. Instead of asking in an attitude of doubt, “If God loved me, why would this bad thing have happened or be happening” ask in an attitude of curiosity “Assuming God loves me, why did this thing happen or why is it happening?”


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