Resistance is the big bad wolf in a land called trying to get what you want. Because of this, resistance is a concept that you hear in healing, spiritual, self help circles constantly, but no one really understands what resistance is. Not knowing what resistance is, is not the only problem. Also people find it very hard to recognize when they are in a state of resistance.
To understand resistance perfectly, I want you to imagine a stream with a fast moving current. In this current, there is a boat. This boat has 6 oarsmen in it, each of whom have a paddle. Some of the oarsmen are paddling downstream with the current. Some of them are paddling upstream, against the current. These oarsmen who are trying to paddle the boat upstream are in resistance. They are in resistance to the current itself. They are in resistance to the oarsmen who are also trying to paddle the boat downstream. Resistance is nothing more than opposition. It is any oppositional force.
We can meet with opposition from the outside and we can meet with opposition from the inside. Obviously resistance from the outside is external people, events and circumstances opposing you. But internal and external resistance go hand in hand. The resistance we encounter on the outside is a reflection of internal resistance that exists, usually internal resistance that we are unaware of.
When it comes to internal resistance within a person, an oppositional force (and therefore resistance) can come in the form of thoughts, words or actions. For example, take the thought “I am abundant and money comes easily to me”. A resistant thought may be “All I ever get is bills and I never have enough money for what I want.” Resistant words may be telling someone that you love them when in fact you don’t or any other form of inauthentic speech. A resistant action may be getting drunk when you’ve vowed to stay sober.
The main source of internal opposition, the source of our resistant thoughts, words and actions is the splits within our consciousness. Even though we have one body, within that body, we in fact have multiple selves. We are fragmented. The best way to picture this is to imagine that inside your body, you have a collection of Siamese twins. They are technically all conjoined because they all share one body. But each one has its own identity, its own desires, needs, perspective, strengths, weaknesses and appearance. This is the primary unconscious coping mechanism within people. And these selves or internal fragments often oppose one another. When they oppose one another, you end up with internal resistance. To understand this concept in depth and learn how to reverse the process, watch my video titled: Fragmentation (The Worldwide Disease).
Obviously when we are trying to get what we want or when we are trying to heal, any force that opposes our healing or opposes us getting what we want is going to cause us incredible amounts of pain. What we do when we feel this opposition either internally or externally is that we try to push through it. We ignore it. We do not deal with the resistance directly. Because of this, we actually enhance the resistance because we are in fact resisting our resistance. We are also wasting lots of energy this way and getting nowhere. Just like a bad game of tug of war or when two people paddle in two different directions, we end up stuck or spinning in circles or having to put forth so much effort to try to get where we want to go or get what we want that we eventually give up.
Most people try to combat resistance by adding energy to the forces that are in alignment with our desires or in alignment with our healing. For example, we may feel the resistance to abundance in our life or be aware it must exist because we never have enough money. But we deal with it by telling ourselves positive affirmations or by attending workshops about how to think and get rich. To use our earlier metaphor, this is like trying to solve the problem of 3 oarsmen paddling upstream and 3 paddling downstream by giving better paddles to the oarsmen paddling downstream. It has done nothing to end the battle between the oarsmen. You’ve done nothing to end the resistance. You’ve just added more force to one side of a tug of war game so to speak.
This is not a wise way of going about it. This is like trying to set sail on the open seas while we have an anchor dropped in the water. The wise way of going about it is to understand that what is natural is to flow in the direction of what we want. We don’t have to work hard at it actually. All forces in the greater universe are in favor of us getting what we want because expansion can only occur from a place of actualizing our desires and giving rise to new ones. What we do have to do is to become aware of the resistance we have and directly address the resistance and try to create some alignment there so that we can have all of our personal energy going in the same direction. This will reflect externally in the world as external circumstances working with us instead of against us. This is to say we need to dive down to pull up the anchor so we can set sail, not try to improve our sails so they can afford the drag of the anchor. Another metaphor is that we need to get the oarsmen who are paddling against the current to paddle with the current instead.
The rule of thumb is this: If you have any resistance taking place within your being, you must directly deal with the resistance first before doing anything else. No action should be taken from a place of resistance. When we feel ourself putting the breaks on or when we feel ourselves not being able to feel fully on board with something or when we can’t seem to create what we want in our life, we need to seek and find and understand and resolve our resistance. We have to be honest enough with ourselves to admit to it, regardless of whether we feel shame or not.
So often we end up totally stuck in the healing field when we are trying to help people or with our own healing because we have resistance to the process taking place or the healing itself. The same goes for truth. We have such a hard time making lasting change because we are so resisting seeing reality and seeing the truth. When we get into these situations, we usually try to bulldoze through the resistance and not only does it not work, it only makes matters worse. For example, some people feel resistance in the form of fear when they are learning a process from a teacher. That resistance will block the person from really opening up and allowing themselves to be transformed by that teacher. This resistance to the teacher himself or herself must be resolved before the student can really open up to learn from them.
Another example is we can say that we want a baby desperately and pour our effort into trying to conceive and into fertility specialists without even realizing that we do have parts of us that are subconscious (that may have even more weight inside of us than the others) who are completely opposed to the idea of being a mother. We need to consider that if we have not manifested something already, it is because parts within us actually oppose the manifesting of that thing.
Another example is that someone can be trying to reflect something to us about us that might change the way we live for the better. But we feel that acknowledging that as part of ourselves would make us a bad person. Our self-concept is in resistance to the truth of us. So we lie about ourselves and go into denial about ourselves instead.
The process we will go through to resolve the resistance in any given situation is going to be determined by the specific circumstances. But one thing I want you to remember is that your resistance deserves to be treated as valid and important regardless of whether it is about something true or real or not. If you do not treat it this way (if you approach resistance with resistance by already deciding that it is stupid or shouldn’t be there or needs to change its stance) you will not be able to listen to that resistance and understand it with compassion enough to create resolve with it. You will also not be able to arrive at your personal higher truth in any given situation. Sometimes when we become aware of the aspects of us that are in resistance, we find that instead of opposing our true desires, they point to even deeper desires and that going in the direction we were intent on going was in fact the opposite of what was best for us.
So remember, if we aren’t getting anywhere with something, it is because there is resistance involved. If we are in resistance, we need to stop dead in our tracks, zoom out to see the resistance and resolve it in whatever way that we can before we move forward with that thing we are in resistance to. Everyone experiences resistance in their lives and in themselves. The people who are massively successful at creating the life they ant to live are the people who can resolve the resistance so that all of their energy is not split and is instead facing in the same direction and moving towards the same thing.