Allow me today to share with you an analogy that you should never forget. An analogy for how healing really works. Really getting this analogy will change the way you think about progress and healing and in ways that have the capacity to drastically improve your life experience.    

To generalize, people in the modern world have an instant fix mindset. We live in an era of instant gratification and in a world that is on-demand. Instant downloads, same day shipping, fast food, pain killers that trick the brain into thinking an underlying condition is healed instantly because it doesn’t hurt anymore. Society demands constant productivity; there is pressure to feel good and get better and be ok instantly. The media warps our perception of the road to recovery and healing with dramatic cuts and timelapses that make it seem like someone has gone from A to B in no time at all. And the expectation of instant healing is drastically fueled by the modern manifestation and wellness culture. Many manifestation and wellness teachers tell you that you will experience a quantum leap or an instant timeline shift by changing your thoughts. They promise that if you align your energy perfectly, changes will happen in a flash and physical or emotional wounds will dissolve that very moment. 

This mentality, this expectation, is not an accurate reflection of how healing really works. On top of this, it actually sabotages the healing process. This expectation causes you to constantly monitor yourself for a cure. Because it isn’t instantly occurring, you feel frustrated and stressed, which activates the sympathetic nervous system (fight-or-flight mode), flooding the body with stress chemicals, which are oppositional to healing. It fosters shame and despair. Shame because when you aren’t instantly better, you usually internalize that as some kind of personal failure. And despair because the gap between your expectations and reality is so big, it causes you to feel totally helpless and powerless about whatever you are trying to heal. This expectation causes you to abandon potentially great healing tools, just because they proved not to be a magic bullet. It also tends to cause people to prefer medicines, tools, techniques and processes that simply mask symptoms or make pain go away, and to confuse this with healing. This is not the same as healing. In fact, symptom suppression and getting the pain to go away can be oppositional to healing.

So how does healing really work? The answer is, like a ship rudder. I’m going to give you the analogy now. In life you are sailing on a specific course. You have a destination in mind. A healed state of being or a wanted outcome. When you do things that are aligned with that healed state or that wanted outcome (for example, alter your perspective, uproot a detrimental core belief, make a different choice, change a behavior, interrupt a pattern or habit, take a different action, use a healing method or tool, engage with a medicine etc.) these are rudder adjustments on the ship. You are making adjustments to the rudder, so as to be aligned with the destination you have in mind. Now what do you notice about sailing in the open ocean? A rudder shift doesn’t usually drastically change your immediate experience. Occasionally it does. But usually, you adjust the rudder and the view around you doesn’t drastically change. The horizon still looks exactly the same. You’re still in the same water. But that rudder change, even the smallest of them, sets you on a different course. So much so that those few degrees were the difference between ending up on one continent versus an entirely different continent.  

Applying this analogy, just like when you alter the rudder on a ship a tiny degree, when you do these things to heal, at first it may not feel like anything much. You may not notice that much of a difference. But the reality is that metaphorically speaking, you end up on a totally different continent. People do not understand how monumental these shifts in the rudder really are and how drastic of a different destination they will lead to. 

And one more part of this analogy: A ship captain expects waves, wind and currents to push the ship off course. These setbacks are not treated as a failure or a disaster, but as a cue to look at the compass, lock onto the course to the desired destination and make another adjustment to the rudder. So too, healing isn’t often just smooth sailing. There are twists and turns, and layers and surprises and unforeseen circumstances and setbacks and regressions. And occasionally, ships can wreck. And when they do, it isn’t about adjusting the rudder towards the same destination anymore. It is about salvaging, rebuilding, selecting a new destination and setting sail in that new direction.    

By really grasping this idea of the ship rudder, that unsustainable demand for an immediate result will shift to a sustainable process-oriented progression. You will start to notice the signs of progress that didn’t count for anything before because they did not measure up to the expectation of total fix. And with this, your motivation will be sustained because you will understand you are getting somewhere. The perception that you are failing and are getting nowhere will dissipate and with it, so will shame and despair. You will be freed from the trap of needing to fix your entire life today. Success will be redefined as simply angling the rudder toward health rather than having to achieving an instant cure. This will reduce anxiety and overwhelm. It will also lift despair. Healing won’t feel so impossibly hard anymore. Setbacks will not register as a “back to square one” or as a “I’ve gotten nowhere”. Simply as an indication that it’s time to look at the compass and adjust the rudder so you are once again aimed at the desired outcome. You will be able to enjoy more of the now, on your way to your desired destination.