Often, we don't feel capable of 'taking up the reigns' of our own mind. To compensate, we ask individual people in our life, our government, or the world at large to change and instead behave in a way that will make us feel better. But we create suffering in two ways when we do this. First, we make other people suffer because we make them responsible for our joy, which was never their responsibility in the first place. Second, we tie ourselves up in a kind of bondage because we cannot control the way anything or anyone else behaves. In other words, we have based our happiness upon control that we do not have. Which means, our happiness is out of our control. We have given it away.