Treat your problems like precious frightened children. Do not treat them like enemies that are bigger than you are; or like annyoyances to be downplayed. So often I hear people referring to their problems land negative beliefs like this: "It's just my own bullshit". This is profoundly self hating. You cannot do this without invalidating your pain. And as long as you are invalidating your pain, no healing can be achieved. Because all you are doing is standing in front of a frightened child, telling them that their problems are "bullshit".