In a relationship, when we feel unsafe and our protector parts take over control, they start to behave in ways that are self-preserving but often detrimental to the other person we are in a relationship with. In other words, they start to turn the relationship into a zero-sum game. And this creates a relationships downward spiral. The reason this creates a downward spiral is because when we do this, it causes us to behave in ways that cause the other person in the relationship to feel unsafe. And as a result, their protector parts take over. And they start to also act in ways that are self-preserving and detrimental to us. They also start to turn the relationship into a zero-sum game. And when they do this, it causes us to feel even more unsafe and thus double down on this self-preservation mode. Which causes them to feel more unsafe and double down on theirs. And this keeps amplifying the degree of unsafety and pain in the relationship until the relationship itself is destroyed.