We have to accept that what is empowering for one person may be disempowering for another and vice versa. We have the tendency to think that 100% responsibility is always empowering. Actually, it can be quite disempowering. It can be a prison instead. It means you are taking responsibility for things you don't authentically want to take responsibility for. We are interdependent, just like the parts of a car engine. Can you imagine making a gas pump responsible for what a brake pad is responsible for? We need to find out how we fit into each other's lives without trying to alter each other into something we are not and don't want to be (we often only want to alter ourselves because we are told we SHOULD be that thing we are trying to alter ourselves to be).