If we are complainers, we have 2 glaring primary unmet needs. The first is for our pain to be seen, heard, felt and acknowledged. We feel alone with our pain. When we complain, we are desperate to have someone acknowledge our pain. In fact, we feel incapable of moving forward until someone does. And the second unmet need is to feel good about ourselves. We need to feel as if nothing is wrong with us and as if we are worthy and have value.