Teal, it's your perfectionism that's stressing you. The standards you're struggling to meet originate in your mind. Be easy with yourself. Hang loose. Don't drive yourself so hard. Relax and plan some serious down time. Reality has a surprising way of taking care of itself when we let go.
Are you afraid that if you let go of the Teal Swan juggernaut you could lose your momentum? You feel like you need to stay on the crest of the wave? But you've been riding it non-stop since 2011. There must be less time-consuming, labor-intensive ways to keep it going, right? You and your business team probably brainstorm about this all the time. How can you enlarge the visibility of your brand while simultaneously cutting yourself more down time?
Madonna or Taylor Swift record an album and go on a world tour...and then they rest. They hang below the radar for a few months and recharge their batteries. Their P.R. people release things to keep their names in public but the stars themselves are relaxing. They release things on a staggered schedule; i.e. - an appearance here, an interview there, a movie clip, a teaser for something new, a small thing, a medium thing. Think of yourself like them. If you don't get enough rest you can't be at your best.
What's the next step up after YouTube and International Symposia? I guess that's the problem. How do you get to the next level? In my opinion you don't spend enough time in New York. It's the media capital of the world. You need to ramp up your operation here in the Big Apple to grab some serious media attention. But that kinda makes you nervous too, I know.
What happened with the movie? Did you find a distributor for it? Why don't you try to get the movie out there more? Where are you marketing the film? The film could blow up big in the right venues. Bring the movie to New York, rent a high-profile venue for a week, and publicize the hell out of it. It seems to me that if you had the publicity working along with distribution, you could reach a wider audience and have a lighter work schedule at the same time.
Start A High Profile Teal Swan Operation In New York City.
If you dropped off of YouTube for a month or two or six, I'd miss you but I'd still be right there for you when you got back. I'm loyal and devoted enough to follow you for life. But I can't speak for everyone else.
Now, as far as your son is concerned. He seems to be a wonderful, bright and beautiful boy. You've done a terrific job as a Mother, above and beyond the call of duty. Pat yourself on the back for a job well done!
But as he gets bigger he'll need to explore the world more and more on his own, outside of your purview. He'll need to separate from you, he'll need to individuate to find his own person. You know this better than anyone, you talk about it all the time. As his development into the world expands, he'll require less attention and supervision from you, and you'll become progressively freer to focus on your mission in the world. Your relationship with him will change, grow, and evolve into something different than what it is now. Less intensity maybe, more mutual admiration and appreciation, too. This is a natural thing. And it's vitally important for a boy with a powerhouse of a mother to find his own confidence apart from you, so he won't feel overshadowed or dominated by your accomplishment as he grows up and awakens.
Good Luck, Teal, I Love You & I'll always be here for You.