Angeilca Minguez

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About Angeilca Minguez

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  • Birthday 04/24/1998
  1. Teal, I've realized by reading this, that my thought processes are very much alike to your thought processes--at the point of this blog--in terms of resistance. It made me feel like...it was 'okay' to be human. It made me feel like I wasn't alone--that there wasn't some deficit in my thinking or reactions. Spiritual perfectionism has haunted me (even though I never seemed to get spirituality right in the first place from my perspective, ha ha...). Today, at least while I remember--I feel like...I can live with this humanity in me. Thank you.
  2. I'm reading this in 2018, and still it touches my heart. It's so beautiful to consider that you did find such a man (I watched your online interview having to do with your and Ale's relationship). I love it. I love you. I have a lot of darkness too, and I was lucky enough to find a man who was able to accept and love it as who I was. I love this blog Teal. I love it.
  3. I used to be like this, the majority--or all--of the 6 things you listed. Number 4 dropped from my list once my life situation shifted into something much better--such as having a cleaner house in comparison to the hoarder house that was a result of, most especially, my mother's emotional trappings. And it helped that I found someone outside of my family who loved me. For a long time, 1, 2, 3, 5, and 6 were a large part of my life. I was miserable, but didn't know. How could I? Positive emotion--the truest, highest forms, such as appreciation and love--were alien, absolutely alien to me. I had a fear of intimacy. I was scared of losing anything that I could possibly gain, so I subconsciously made sure to gain nothing. Nothing. No attachments, no ability to feel happy about the things I had, no gratitude for the endless love my partner showed and sent to me in endless ways... that was, until he broke up with me. The loss and grieving was unavoidable. The barrier I didn't know I had toward 'grief' specifically was blown apart. It crumbled and what was left was the hole of heartbreak in my chest--the same feeling I had when my mother locked me (I think when I was around 4 years old) in a room. The room was dark. It had a bed too high for me. I think I may have only been locked in there for...say 15 minutes? But as a child where every moment lasted forever, it was torture. It broke my heart. Part of me doesn't know why I'm telling this here. It's probably because I'm lonely and need to express. But also...I understand. I can understand the misery because I now understand what appreciation and love are. I hope...I hope that you guys can find the source of your loss and grief before the Universe decides to push you into it. But who knows? It certainly helped me, the way it happened. My wish and hope for you, who resonate with those 6 in the list, is that you can also feel what gratitude and love are like. I never knew... I hope the best for you. C:
  4. Hello, I am also quite lonely, and am also looking for a friend, or someone to talk to. I just had a break up with my boyfriend, and are taking a 4 week break from talking to find ourselves, out of love for ourselves and each other. I have to crunch my time and progression in order to complete my applications to transfer to a college that can fund me in little over a month. Ugh, I'm just a bit of a mess right now and want to connect very badly with someone, to just talk about my conflicts, and perhaps you can tell me yours? Anyone can message me through Teal's site. If not, my name is Angelica Minguez on Facebook, and I have a goofy picture of me and my ex as my profile picture, so you'd know it's me. Thanks for reading!
  5. Personally, I love hearing about both sides of your life Teal, from work and content to personal matters. I think that a reason that I love hearing about your personal life is that, for me, personally, the majority of what I've seen/heard/learned from you is the information you've been providing us. And it's been wonderful! I simply revel at the prospect of learning more about you, who have taught me so much for the past few years.
  6. Wow, Teal. This blog--its sentiment and outpour--is more than I could've imagined. So beautiful, that I nearly teared up the second time I read it. And in that beauty is also a sadness, in the way that I, and most likely many others, begin to fully understand what should have been and wasn't. And what should be when the time comes. In my youth, I envy Winter for his beautiful, spiritual, wise mother, while I still feel the effects of my own. But in my youth, I'm so glad, and grateful, that this knowledge, from you, comes to me now. That, when the times comes, my own child will be treated in the way that Winter is. I'm so glad to have you as an example, not only for a spiritual teacher, but a mother. Perhaps in my next life, humanity will have progressed enough that I would have a mother like you, Teal. I do love you, and thank you ~ Angelica
  7. Wow, Teal, I did the exercise that you wrote in your blog, and I felt a change by the end of it. While I was writing, I was so filled with hatred--but most of all, for my own race. I and my family have been caused so much pain by our relatives and old "friends" of the same race (and I have also experienced a lot of pain from my own immediate family) that I realized I felt the most hateful and developed the most and most derogatory stereotypes and judgements against my own race. It was pretty crazy. I still have to write about what my vulnerabilities and pains are in regards to my judgements of each race, but while writing, it was pretty liberating to feel all of the pent up emotions "spewing" out. Thank you again Teal, for another enlightening experience. Will finish the exercise, hopefully later in the day, once I muster up more courage. Much love, Angelica
  8. Belonging, yes, I've had issues with it as well. I'm so scared to put myself where other people can see because I'm terrified of being seen without being understood. It scares me a hell of a lot. I also have lots of shame rooted into me, which doesn't help at all. I suppose its...gratifying or "good" in its own way to know that...others could feel the same? But then I suppose there's a difference between not belonging amongst people and not trying to connect with them in the first place. Don't know where I'm going. Thank you for the insight, Teal. I feel you.