Gogo.o

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  1. Thank you Inquisitor! I am trying to figure out if i am running away from some answer. I don't really trust the guy to ask him and if the answer would be: "I just found what i am looking for in her"....i would and still am in a judgement position ( wife, mistress...oh wait..i actually found what i am looking for in the 3rd one...don't really care if she's the best friend and am already involved with the first two)...
  2. Trust Hi guys, I am wondering...I met a guy at one point. I felt a strong inexplicable attraction to him. My mind wasn't understanding, my body was going towards him. I was and still am with someone. He was with someone, ended up getting married to the woman, she was pregnant. He was telling me that he wants a connection with me, he feels my energy and wants us to grow spiritually together. He did not seem to lie, but in his mind (as he was explaining) the connection we would end up having had nothing to do with his soon to come marriage or with my relationship. We ended up growing a relationship that was, from his point of view not sexual, not the primary interest but that it would not exclude it since the connection through sex would be much deeper. I felt attraction, a combination of sexual but also...an inexplicable sensation of "i am being understood, deep inside". Well, needles to say...we ended up having sex, i felt bad about it, wanted to stop. My best friend came into the picture, feeling the same attraction to the guy (but not sexual...a strong attraction of "home" - as she said). They ended up talking a lot, his focus went rapidly from me to her. She blocked him (as she said, but told him she felt the attraction with no interest). I ended up furiously jealous, because i felt that something more than a friendship was building there, but both denied it. 3 days after i said i am out of this (relationship triangle) they ended up "figuring out" that they do have feelings for each other. The man married his wife while wanting to build a relationship with me and waiting on a kid, while building a relationship with my ex best friend). He wants (so he said) to divorce her since he cannot connect to her as he needs. I am trying my heart out to find an explanation for this situation that my heart and head can understand so i can let go. I am hurt by my friend more because she trusts him more than me. Somehow (she states) i misunderstood the situation and all his explanations make sense. She is a very experienced person, someone that (from what she states) rarely misjudges a person and has a very good connection with her intuition. Can anyone (and i know that my best bet to figure this out is to ask him) help with showing a perspective in which what happened had a good intention, that he, somehow did have a positive intention. Thanks!!:* P.S. I know I attracted this. I am aware i'm not a victim, the whole situation came so i can resolve my issues, that i am aware of. Somehow, this reason is not enough for me to have peace with what happen...
  3. I feel that i've been pushing on my negative emotions. Not accepting them, thinking i am bigger than my negative emotions. Being so attentive on what i what to improve on myself i ended up paying too much attention on how i'm doing things wrong so to correct them. This whole going in process feels very sensitive. It's a struggle i have inside that is saying: " screw this....i do stuff correctly, i trust my method, i do stuff my own way...but i want/need validation. I apparently want someone i trust to tell me...yeah...good thinking. You did good". When the other side happens, i am told i am not seeing the correct way, i am not aware of my surroundings to help me make better decisions, this gets me the most". This blurs my thoughts, i no longer have clarity because i am not seeing what the people i trust see....if this makes sense. If i have the validation of someone i trust...i am ok. I can confront the rest...but if i am on my own in my beliefs....i loose my selfworth.
  4. Thank you Mai-da! I am aware that these are my issues. We triggered each other a lot during our friendship. And i have a heavy way of expressing myself. I find it difficult to express myself in an assertive way, i freeze when i am confronted and need to be fully relaxed to be lucid and make sense, she is the other way around. We bumped heads a lot on this topic. Her assertive way of being making my jealousy stronger accompanied by my inability to recognize my lacks (i'm a Leo...my ego is easily hurt) and to acknowledge my strengths in conversation. So i always felt like i'm going to loose, no matter what i do. Loose = she's always going to have the best argument, i'm going to enter my pattern of freezing when approached in an aggressive way (and she is the kind to do that). So how do you guys, that have this difficulty to express your feelings handle these situations?
  5. Can you still be friends with someone you envy? Hi guys, I have a close dear friend that for 7 years that i've known i've been envying her for her energy, experience, detachment and lucidity. I've been intimidated by her and i know that envy and dear friend do not go well together but im only admitting this now. I've always blamed myself for it and pushed it under the covers because i always felt that i have a lot to learn from this person and do care deeply for her for the way she helped me along the way. I felt bad about feeling it and i ended up hiding stuff from her because i feared judgement. She accused me of inauthenticity. My question is: Can you still be friends/close (emotionally) with someone that you have these feelings towards? I know its me, my lack of self esteem, the fact that i consider her better, my own issues. But i've always felt like every man, once they knew her, would forget about me. Do you tell someone these feelings? And being on the receiving end, wouldnt it be unconfortable that your way of being intimidates your friend? Thank youu
  6. Inuition or projection Hi guys, I am somewhat a beginner in the spiritual self search. Even though i've been reading a lot and listening to a lot of Teal, Louise Hay, Abraham Hicks videos and many more i'm lacking the practice which i find the hardest (no wonder). I have some abandonment issues, rejection issue, self esteem and a big lack in presence. I find myself having the hardest time being present when i have some issues on my mind, issues that i cannot find a resolution too. Lately, i've been helping myself, and being more attentive to my intuition but i sometimes think that what i feel might be the result of my pains and not my intuition. Have you guys experienced this? How do you feel, if you do, the difference between the two? And also...what helps you feel more present, with yourself with your dear ones? Thank you!!
  7. you guys are freaking awesome! thank you very much! i sometimes feel that i am building my hatred, envy, ...with thoughts. i know that you are not supposed to do so, but feel without additional thought. i think that i've been running from my feelings all my life. and now..that i am face with the decision to not do that anymore, i am totally confused. i feel my ego kicking in to "save me", distracting me, but i feel like i should take a decision, have some "instructions?" on how to do this? i don't know how that sounds but these periods are very confusing. i don't want to run away from them...because that does make me feel better (somehow). i want to feel them without being afraid that they will overwhelm me, that i will be grumpy all day. this situation with my friend has left me a constant ake in my chest, that makes me sad and i've been feeling this some some weeks now.
  8. Mai-da thanks for the feedback. I think i exaggerated with the word "effort". I mean just to choose some kinder words. Its not about superiority. I just know that i'm sensitive to words (in certain situations) . And i do believe that if you want someone to listen to what you have to say, the person shouldn't feel threatened or hide because they don't want to be hurt. This makes them defensive and they do not listen anymore. This happens to me too. If you yell at me or tell me something on a hard tone, you loose me. Can you give some advise on how i can process, figure out my feelings in this situation, work on feeling the message more? I think i have been rejecting a lot of my negative feelings for her, because i felt bad for feeling them or for not wanting to feel them Thank you very much!
  9. Thank you Mark! I don't mean to deliver a fake message instead of an authentic one. I usually do not like hurting other people's feelings, especially the ones that i care for. I would say instead of " What the hell is in your mind to think like that?" ->" Wait, wait...how did you come up with that idea?". The tone and emphasis someone puts into what they say. And yes, i am easily influenced by this way of putting things, especially from the people i admire, lets just say....because it is making me go into not trusting what and how i think spiral. So i am trying to overcome that but i am at a lost, since i can build up my self confidence and the arguments seem plausible for me....but when i end up receiving negative feedback (from these people only, and in that assertive, tough way ) it makes me feel like i everything i felt/thought was wrong.
  10. Can we negatively affect other people with our thoughts? Hi guys, I have a question. Recently i entered a very hard situation with a dear friend that i've known for 7 years. She's been a tutor, a mother, a guide, a friend but also pushed a lot of my buttons and i hers. She went to an astrology reading and recently to a paranormal reader that told her i am negatively affecting her with my thoughts. I am blocking her creative energy, i am using what i know about her against her. We've been through a lot together so due to the fact that i saw her a lot as a superior i do sometimes have envy and am jealous of how fast and easy things work out for her, but never intent to hurt her or any thought of this kind. I do feel that sometimes she has a harsh way of saying things and did not change the way she delivered the message because, she states " my parents always said to me that what i said was not important if i did not watch how i said it, so im tired of that, this is how im saying it" . Me , on the other hand...i cannot do that. I always try to deliver the information and gently as posible. So... bottom line. I do feel i have a soul connection with this woman...can i affect her with my thoughts the way those readings said? Thank you guys! <3