georgia88

@Walt: In a way, yes. I feel there are bridges missing. They are not separate, but somehow disconnected. @Scot: Thanks for the lead, will dive into it.

Thank you everyone for your thoughts. I started to believe that this self-challenge has a lot to do also with personality profile/type. People focused on creating value (like writers, artists, innovators, scientists, entrepreneurs) have a lot of fun by doing what they want and like. Very few are social birds in the sense of really loving it. Most the people from this category feel there is not enough time to do all the things they want to do and because of that they feel they are wasting their time by doing the “fun” things. I guess that some of us are just like Claire Underwood from the film House of Cards. The only time I had great fun was after we wrapped an adventure TV show production during which we accumulated tones of adrenaline (production is army), and once we were done with it, we nailed it. The paradox is that those times were the worst in my life and above that we barely knew each other, people in that group were not close friends. It's amazing what chemistry can do.

How to feel more alive/ joy/fun with more parts of who we are? In my case, in a very twisted way, before my (sort of) awakening, life was more fun. Happiness is very much related with having fun for me, despite the fact I am not sure I have a clue about what that is, but I have one very short memory that survived, somehow as a question mark. In the absence of feeling fun and joy at full capacity (or close), I feel I lost or missed a vital battle somewhere. Things like developing forgiveness, compassion and empathy and understanding a variety of things from human nature mechanism didn't fix my broken links. They meant something, but not something that everybody say or something that I expected. It was more like a shift. A shift from bad to just hard, thing that allowed me to keep my head above the water and thrive against adversities at some chapters of my life. Life didn't become better, it just became milder, in a way. It didn't become better organically, naturally...with fun and joy included. It become better in my absence from the mids of pain as a result of my disengagement from it, as if I made peace with the heaviness of my cross and I just move on dragging it after me, and sometimes even carrying it/feeling it easier. So I guess my question also is: How to smoothly access the supressed/unknown/unseen/unaware of parts, not of the memories, but of the feelings and emotions. So I can identify the broken links, reconnect emotionally at all my ends to all these lost, missing, disconnected or frozen parts and to (re)position towards them. How to be better in a stronger way?

Hello from Bucharest! I know a growing number of people here who are into Teal. Why don't we organize to invite her also in Romania? As for how I ended up here, my sister found her first and then passed it on, and then I passed it on. I've also seen her live in Amsterdam at her workshop there. I am not into something or someone in particular when it comes to mindsets and spirituality, I stand alone and keep an open mind, but this woman has something to teach and I have something to learn. She posses a type of clarity and compasion I've never met before.