How to feel more alive/ joy/fun with more parts of who we are?
In my case, in a very twisted way, before my (sort of) awakening, life was more fun. Happiness is very much related with having fun for me, despite the fact I am not sure I have a clue about what that is, but I have one very short memory that survived, somehow as a question mark. In the absence of feeling fun and joy at full capacity (or close), I feel I lost or missed a vital battle somewhere.
Things like developing forgiveness, compassion and empathy and understanding a variety of things from human nature mechanism didn't fix my broken links. They meant something, but not something that everybody say or something that I expected. It was more like a shift. A shift from bad to just hard, thing that allowed me to keep my head above the water and thrive against adversities at some chapters of my life. Life didn't become better, it just became milder, in a way. It didn't become better organically, naturally...with fun and joy included. It become better in my absence from the mids of pain as a result of my disengagement from it, as if I made peace with the heaviness of my cross and I just move on dragging it after me, and sometimes even carrying it/feeling it easier.
So I guess my question also is: How to smoothly access the supressed/unknown/unseen/unaware of parts, not of the memories, but of the feelings and emotions. So I can identify the broken links, reconnect emotionally at all my ends to all these lost, missing, disconnected or frozen parts and to (re)position towards them. How to be better in a stronger way?