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Ninel

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  1. one other thing...im reading the comments on the video of the very jealous insecure girl bashing you. im noticing a pattern. a lot of people hate you simply because they are far less intelligent than you. Some of them are just plain stupid. Your mind generates shit that they just cannot process, it's too complex and multidimensional. Thus, the stupid myth about how you promote suicide, and whatever sensationalist simple bullshit people say about you without ever really studying what you actually said, more deeply. These people are mouthbreathers who've been dumbed down, or are a bit *earlier* in their path. And haven't the interest nor the ability to engage with the complexity of your ideas. They are uncomfortable with what they don't understand, which is most things outside their very tiny comfort zones. So they get wind of something you said that clashes with their flimsy programmed beliefs and they immediately reject it and you altogether. Then there are all those people who say this: 'oh, oh yes, i got a badddddd feeling about teal the minute i watched a video. she felt so off to me! i have GREAT intuition btw. i went to do research and found out all these things, man, i juuuust knew it." These people make me sad because they're a bit further along than the mouthbreathers, but not very much, and certainly more than they think. This group of your haters all seem to agree to have had an *immediate* allergic reaction to you. That shows that they at least have intuitive reactions in the first place, which is good because that gives them the potential to *follow* their discomfort towards self understanding. But generally, these people don't do that. They attach to the initial unsettling feeling you gave them. Because they are not very good at identifying the repressed/hidden sources of unsettling feelings within them, they immediately project the source of the discomfort into the external object, ie Teal. I feel intutively that these haters are DEEP DEEP DEEP DEEP DEEP in denial about their wounds and pain and shadow. You literally represent and embody and radiate the polar opposite energy, the truth, whats real, the contents of our closets. No wonder these people can't even look at you for more than a minute without their minds convincing them *she is bad because i feel bad looking at this*......your light is too damn bright. unless someone has done enough inner work for their eyes to be able to adjust to a light that bright, those eyes are going to BURN and their owner will attack you before looking within to figure out why its happening. random but I feel that when someone is over 50% heart centered, they will see a Teal video and resonate the exact opposite....your light and rawness and its vast depth will spark a positive identification with you instead of a negative attack. You seem to very much polarize people, like a force of nature. For people who are ready you are a miracle, for people who are not you are a target. Thats some life you got there. I admire, respect and look up to you. I also feel for you because I get the sense that all of this shit really does hurt still, even though you probably feel like it shouldnt.
  2. Ninel

    Dear Fractal

    beautiful.....this is the key to collective healing today. i wonder why more gurus or whatever, haven't made as much of a big deal about authenticity. what i like about you is that you place your healing stuff in the context of the actual fucked up modern world. and the most important thing is people actually feeling their real feelings. sad to say that we have to get there before we can even collectively move past that. we look outside of us for 'the illusion' and the matrix not fully realizing that the biggest illusions of all are the ones we hold about ourselves and how we REALLY feel about this mess. I was wayyyyyyy too sensitive to build the *walls* the normal people have. By normal, I mean your usual person who is an amalgamation of conditioning mixed in w glimmers of their true selves. But not building them allows me to see through people and see that deep deep deep down, they feel the same pain I cant avoid. Not building them forces me to be authentic because its too painful to my inner sensitivity not to and i can see all the parts of me clearly, they cannot hide from me in compartments. Not building those walls means this world looks very insane to me and i cannot rationalize that away in order to build a boxed in comfortable little life in which the way things are is even remotely tolerable. Not building them has allowed me to keep a childlike level of passion, empathy and its why I can't do things that hurt others or live in a way that denies the urgency of what needs to shift. Not building them means the thought of prison or genocide makes me physically sick to this day and I am COMPELLED to do something, to find my purpose in the shift. I hope you keep shouting to the rooftops about authenticity because I for one am tired of swimming in a sea of disconnected fakeness and the interpersonal isolation it causes. Id rather be around people in pain and trying to heal, then people in pain, unaware, and disinterested in going there. We should all be dealing w the collective pain as it comes up for healing. It should not just be on a few of us. And as things continue to speed up and shift and collapse, I have a feeling that a lot of peoples' psychological structures will be gutted and their ego walls will be of no use anymore, which will scare the shit out of them, and people like us will find more of a place among them, helping people into a new life of real emotions and heart centered authenticity.
  3. Looking back, this is really beautiful to read. Personal authenticity in one person that becomes visible to millions can be more powerful than the ongoing work of a million activists doing concrete things to bring about change. The bane of modern existence, the spiritual void we feel, is related to our inability to be truly present with ourselves and our feelings. The entire matrix program of control is based upon our collective lack of integration of our shadows. the "normal" psychological profile is so twisted to me. as a teen i remember thinking wow everything is fake and most people are too, then being told i have 'social anxiety disorder' and spending years clawing my way back to the truth. my perception has matured but to some extent i was right. its all this repressed pain causing the world to be so full of suffering. (i think we have an incredible courage strength and bravery that is hard for the world to even comprehend at this point, but that seems to be changing quickly) but yeah i look around my heart sees the world SCREAMING for realness! for truth, for what really is, for whats beyond the damn facade. you demonstrate something so profound and i understand the pain it causes to go through willingly triggering yourself like that for the good of others. I remember when I decided that it was the utmost authenticity or nothing. I just saw through the bullshit so hard that I couldn't be unreal anymore, it disgusted me and i wanted more from myself, i was being motivated and assisted by a higher purpose that had little use for my socially programmed fear response to my own true raw divine self or peoples stupid reactions to it. regardless, the fear and shame it triggered and continues to trigger is real. better than before though. I used to have panic attacks after blog posts in which I spoke in my inherently honest and self revealing way. i have lost friends by being myself and people often dont know what to do with me, the more i let the real me out. but you know what the most amazing thing about it is? once i really started doing authenticity as a hardcore spiritual practice (i think we started focusing on it at the same time) but yeah once i really started taking it seriously and holding myself to it, I began to...be a sort of *channel* for wisdom i didnt fully even understand the source of.....i began to write words that *touched* people in places they forgot they ever had, a long long time ago. i began to *wake* people out of their slumber with the power behind my words. i began to attract people that almost...*followed* me....pretty much started to step into my role as a healer and so much beautiful shit blossomed as a result of the commitment to authenticity. i know ive touched and changed peoples lives just from a few conversations and its because of the magic and POWER that lies within the authenticity we're taught to fear more than anything.
  4. Hey Teal. Hope you're doing ok irl. I never assume a famous busy person will read comments, but for some reason, I think you'll read this because you'll feel the energy drawing you to it. I'm a 24 year old black woman from brooklyn, INFP, 4w3. I'm not like most of the people who I see write to you on here, who pretty much have to put you on a pedestal because of the extent of your gifts: your obvious intellectual genius which places you among a tiny sliver of the population, or your extrasensory and intuitive abilities, which are truly extraordinary and rare. I've never commented on your stuff before but I think I'm one of your *kind* if you will. Most empaths think they've experienced the height of isolation and resistance to their beingness. They haven't. You have, from day one. With the kind of gifts you have, that isolation and resistance is on a whole nother level. i understand. All I want to tell you today is that the reason you have all these haters is because you are a female genius in a world that shits on gifted people let alone gifted women. To me, you represent the antidote to the sickness of modern life in the matrix, everything you stand for. You are a beacon of truth and light, not fake false light, real light, the kind it takes lifetimes and courage to excavate. You are love itself, with all your wounds and scars. You also are a huge mirror to anyone you come into contact with , and probably trigger people without trying? Just with the brightness that you have from painstakingly turning on so many lights inside you? This is my situation too. I didn't understand it until later, so I hated myself and wondered why I was off putting to some people. Meeting you online helped change my life. I just want to say that all the haters are just terrified by how you can see right through them like glass. That is scary. You are so much stronger than them and they see all that they are not in you. You being emotionally open and raw triggers people whove built their entire psychological structure around inauthenticity which is interpersonally NORMAL in this sick world. You can not only see through them but you are literally magical, there is something *about you*....so foreign in this world that it scares people because that is the extent to which they have forgotten themselves... People would rather attack you for it then do the hard inner work to go find their own magic. Also I think there is hyperdimensional interference right now, coming through weak links to try and trip up lightworker types who are powerful but I feel they are getting madder because their time is short, for some reason.... I just wanna say that I'm also a genius and deal with haters, jealous women, men threatened in my industry by how quickly i'm rising. you rose pretty fast too. im sure there is so much jealousy and misplaced rage too because you are hot! I also look like a model, size 0 and clearly extremely talented, and combined with being a genius with rare spiritual abilities it can actually make you really hard to *swallow* for lots of people without even trying...idk if that happens to you... I dont know, I just feel like I *knew* you at some point, like you're one of my homegirls and you *get it* and it makes my lifelong, deeply painful isolation and my haters more easy to deal with. I love seeing how you process your shit and you don't write stupid spiritual platitudes, you really wade into the thick of it WITH us like a spiritual bad ass. Your agility with understanding and deprogramming the human psyche is something no mainstream or new age therapist or healer can touch with a ten foot pole right now btw and thats coming from a young woman who is obsessed with psychology and modes of therapy and healing, I have spent years researching and learning. I wish I could learn and heal under you irl, college bored me so I left and now seek engagement with great minds outside of the academy. Anyway: you are bringing something NEW and at the same time ancient to the world but the enormity of you will eventually shake off the attacks of your haters like a large beast shaking off arrows that scraped the skin. I think I'm channeling rn woah...perhaps some people NEED to fight against some godlike figure (not to pedestal you but you are kinda christlike, and i mean that in the realest most down to earth way possible lol, i believe the christ energy is something attainable) but yeah where was I: some people might need to come at you, denying your divinity by projecting shadows at you, in order to realize the way they attack and deny their own divinity and try to snuff their own light......also....you know how in middle school, sometimes the kids would not sit with 'the loser' and would bully him? its because the loser embodied all the things the other kids wouldnt face. but the loser always comes out in the end, and sadly lots of modern adults haven't grown past 7th grade, haha. In the end teal it is YOU who will win out by continuing to stay in a place of love. I don't think your mind is gonna come up with the best solution. You could sue, sure. Respond to every attack with an expert comeback which would be relatively easy for you especially since your haters do not seem overly intelligent. Maybe that is a very practical idea and its masochistic to let this continue. But maybe the solution is to win the race with love, and once the haters start falling on their way to the finish line, overcome by the rage of their forgotten shadow figures, they wont have ANY time to come at you anymore. I think more rewards are coming than it seems right now but i dont think the path they will take to reach you can be configured in the mind at this point, just speaking freely from intuition. but you're way smarter than me so what do i know. also....it took a lot of discernment for me to not believe your haters. but im glad because it actually sharpened my discernment skills and pushed me into really really considering who i listen to and got me to listen closer to my intuition about you. teal tribe might be a little smaller but its more composed of people who are *there* and can actually benefit from your teachings. and if someone cant even discern your light for themselves, they are too cut off from self/source to continue following you ANYway. Perhaps they got to a certain level where they need to feel betrayed or duped or lost, before coming back into consciousness without projecting shit onto you. Maybe you are playing as big a role to them as you are playing to the people who actually do get it and appreciate it, in some fucked up way. maybe this is all part of something bigger and you will still have a great career, except it will not be based on hype in the slightest, you'll have a community that really rallied around you for the right reasons and can really benefit, not just take up mad space around you and energy from you. anyway you are killing it with multiple successful careers and you are my biggest role model because I can't find many tbh. I have a weird feeling that soon, things will shift and cut us and all those like us, a break. Love to you, sister. I hope to one day be in a tribe w folks like you. fxwrkmusic@gmail.com
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