This theme has been popping up HARD over the last few days! Had a massive breakthrough 2 days ago and cried my face off when I watched the Houston Workshop recording, especially the part about SHAME.
It hit me that I feel so ashamed of being "needy" - needing connection, attention, touch, cuddling - that I struggle to tell my boyfriend what I need straight up.
This pops up especially when this need is NOT being met - ie. I ask him to stay over and he says he will be staying at his dad's. It brings up huge rejection and shame because I feel like HE can't meet my need if I don't TELL him my need, but I feel ashamed for having the need in the first place.
After having a big cry and releasing a lot of it, I talked to him about it and talked to him about how my fear of rejection is tied so closely to my shame about my constant need for closeness. It was a very good talk :-)
I look forward to you writing MUCH more on this subject, Teal! <3