What solved the subject for me:
1. Imagine having a purpose and autonomy. You win the Nobel prize, but go home and have no one to tell about it, no one to celebrate with you.
On the other hand, imagine having the best imaginable relationship and family. You laugh, hug and celebrate together, but you do not have the career success.
(My feeling was that relationships makes the purpose miniature)
2. Realistically, I feel the need to be active in the career-world sphere. I feel doing it in a proportion that is right for me will also benefit my personal relationships, as it will make me happy, therefore there is no conflict. Where do those needs conflict for you? Why not work during the day and invest in people in your free time?
3. With regards to autonomy, the key in my case was losing the fears of being alone and being emotionally hurt, through a long process of dating and emotional expression around the fact that I might stay alone forever. By knowing how to deal will the occasional fear that things will be over, I stay autonomous in relationships, because I am not afraid to go away in case things are bad.
4. When it comes to success in life/helping others, I feel healing myself is the biggest success/help to others I can get, and healing will be primarily through the right relationships rather then through purpose.
Would love to hear from you,