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About Yeiess

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  • Birthday 07/02/1983

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  1. Yeiess

    I do, and I have to work hard to change the patterns I’m in so I don’t get to isolated. It would be great to hear the cause of it, even though I might think that getting a lot of critisism without any encouragement in an young age might be a cause. Well it might help you to go to a therapist to get out of the avoidant patterns if you struggle with avoidance of the things you would like to do. Best of luck to you:)
  2. Avoidant personality disorder Anyone who has any thoughts on this disorder and what causes it?
  3. Yeiess

    I see. It’s interesting to get insight into how you percieve your country and people. I can relate to some of it regards to Norwegians as well, especially the mocking of the american culture etc. I heard Teal once talk about the german and scandinavian countries to the most emotinally cold places. I testes this theory this weekend when I got to talk to an Italian man, and he said what he disliked the most about norwegian was the emotional distance; not wanting to take part of others emotional stuff. That was exactly what Teal said. I have an american friend and she is really good at being open and friendly! At first I get scared of people being like that, ha ha, but I have noticed that we need it a lot in Norway. I try to set an example;)
  4. Yeiess

    Yes we did!😄 I’m from Norway. Do you like it Germany? My grandma is from Flensburg, north.
  5. Yeiess

    Where in Europe are you form Han Solo? I sent you a PM because of this post. Write back if you want to. I thought I had answered this post but something may have gone wrong.
  6. Yeiess

    Thank you I actually have been breaking it down and trying to get peoples advice where such a job exists, either they say I need to find a company that exists or they say I don't have enough education/experience. I'ts hard. I actually want a desk job or something like that but I feel people think I should use the education I have. I'm a nurse, and not loving it. I have been thinking about receptionist or secretary. I suffer from a lot of self doubt, and I kind of feel like anything I would end up doing I will hate. And if people refuse to connect and only see me as an resource for what I can do for them I get mad. I have to be honest; I'ts hard for me to do hard work not knowing if it will bring me appreciation from others. I don't want to contribute because I feel forced to and that people expect it from me. I do not feel connected to society. I have noticed though that when I'm selfish for a larger amount of the day I got more to give other people later on that day or later on. I really do not have a choice about having a job or not makes me stuck in resistance even more. If someone told me I didn't have to work at all that would probably release it, but that's not gonna happen. At the same time a want a lot of security. If I don't know if I will have enough money to get trough the next month I get stuck in depressive thoughts right away.
  7. Yeiess

    I feel the same way and I’m stuck in this too. I can’t help you with an solution I’m sorry. Wish I could though!
  8. Yeiess

    Money issues I'ts so unfair to pressured in to having a job. The only reason I want a job is to get recognition from the society I live in so they won't see me as a bad person. They say I should do something I like and go for that, but every time I try to make something I like in to a job I start hate the thing I do. Society and the people that continue to maintain it are making me feel like I should be wanting to contribute by having a job and pay taxes. One part of me wants to have a job and live like a person that is considered "normal", another part of me is like "no way, no one is going to love the real you for doing that". I cant pull my self out of this feeling of being trapped in a society that is forcing people to do stuff they don't want to do. I feel like I have to pay a price to get what I want. I feel like the only way to be with people that don't disproof of you is to "do the right thing, get a job". I feel like such a bad person because I don't want to have a job and everyone is kind of looking at me with disappointing eyes that are saying : "if only you could pull yourself together because you are such a lovely girl". But now the funny part: when I consider the people I want to have in my life I don't want them to be people who are not doing anything with their life. So why should I get to do nothing, while other must do something to have my approval? I have figured out that the only thing I truly want is connection and relationships, but it's not working to do something just because I think It's getting me something else. But when I don't engage in this society in a way that's "normal" I'm left alone by people. I don't want to do anything. I don't want to have to do "hard work" in any areas of life right now. Even doing the stuff I like I don't want to do. The whole work-mentality that you are being hired for what you can do for someone and not for who you are is frustrating. I feel like it's trapping me into being expected to be a certain way. I know that having a job is the only way for me to survive, because to have someone else that is actually working supporting me is making me feel unworthy. So that's not an option. I have to eat. I have to have a roof over my head. All my life I have been living at the bottom of the Maslow's pyramid only thinking about how to make money just to get food on the table. My parents never made me feel safe enough so I could relax about life in general. I notice that people are telling me to relax more and have more fun, but when I worry about having enough money for that coffee or that movie-ticket I just get caught up in that instead of caring for the person I'm actually with. Right now I'm depended on other people who don’t have my best interests at heart to financially support me under the pretense of me wanting to find a more suitable job. Even though I have health-issues that makes me unable to have certain jobs I don’t have a diagnoses or a visible disability. I’m struggling with chronic muscle-pain. But as I’m being told: I need another job. I can't tell them how I feel and I feel nervous about them judging me on how I spend my money. When I do try to speak my mind about it they tell me that I only have to hang in there and keep on going, and I feel ashamed. When I do work I always end up hating the job and I never get paid enough or have enough free-time to pursuit living more spontaneously and free. I feel trapped either way. Even if I should buy a tent and go off in to the woods and live of the earth I still would have a mortgage and debts. And people would hire a search-crew to find me because they think I got mad. Or actually they wouldn't, they would just wait for me to get lonely and come back, and then they would make me feel ashamed of the reasons why I was doing it in the first place.
  9. Edward Tronick «Still face» experiment. I just watched the «Still face» experiment on YouTube! Scary as h... explained why I have big issues with emotional regulation! Watch it!
  10. Yeiess

    If you think she is a fraud why are you even on this forum?
  11. Yeiess

    Yes, I know about that, I have been suffering from anxiety and depression and suicidal thoughts because of it in the past. That's what I meant when I mentioned in an earlier post that these emotions come back sometimes, but not so serious, just flashes. I have been wondering though if I'm committed to life now or even what that looked like, because I haven't been feeling committed to life even if I don't have serious suicidal thoughts anymore. But I have been much more committed to how I feel though , even if I don't have been committed to "doing anything". That might be enough for the moment. Teal is uncovering the subconscious, and to be confronted with life/death topics might not be something that's recognized by the person, especially in front of hundreds of people in an workshop. We live in a physical world, but we have feelings and thoughts that need to be addressed as well. In this busy society we don't always know how our mind works. I think that Teal is picking up on deep despair, and to resolve that you need to get in to it to get out of it. I think that this is what she is trying to do by making people do some introspection to move through it, and going through it might look like having to decide. It can be a relief to actually go through that possess.
  12. Yeiess

    No, no! My choices was about life-choices: what kind of job, what kind of hobby, what city..Things like that. Not if I wanted to die or not. I can see how everyone was thinking that I was trying to decide to live or not. I'm sorry about that. But sometimes the feelings show up and I think everyone can relate to that. I want to live, but life is freakin hard!! Yes! Well, I agree with you! Thank you for your insights. You complemented my understanding of the topic :-)
  13. Yeiess

    Committing to life could mean as Mai-da above said; listen to your feelings as often as you can. I know all about feeling like everything is an effort, I feel you. If you feel like everything is an effort then stop doing it for a while. Right now I have chosen to be committed to not making any choices for a while. Just putting the breaks on. I'ts hard though, because my self-value have always been dependent on how much effort I am doing. Looking forward to see your other post <3
  14. Yeiess

    What a great answer! I have been committed to apathy for the longest time, but recently I chose not to choose for a while and it feels so much better! Even if being committed to life mean something else for someone else I really felt that this was a good take on it!! Thanx :-)
  15. Yeiess

    commitment to life. What does committing to life look like on an practical level? And what does not being committed to life look like? ....