I'm so sorry that you had to face these obstacles and feeling this way, Teal! You are a bright shining light in my world, teaching me and guiding me towards my truth and higgest potential. You showed me the way on how to be kind with myself, which felt amazing! I love you very much and I support you full-heartedly!
Regarding your invite to answer what is it that I'm risking on "fully going for it", and what is it that prevents me on going for it, the answer is the same and comes easy: abandonment. I fear me being without a support figure.
If I would know I can be my own support figure or I will always have a support figure in my life at all times, regardless on what I decide to be and do, than there will be no risk for me.
You have us all supporting you, Teal! A whole community loving you and being thankfull to you! And I guess me and all people commenting here just want you to feel good and be kind to yourself!