I can so relate to this! This is me all day long, but i feel so imberresed of how i act. Its like there is no peace inside and hard to feel safe. Like you are starving to death, and are so desperat . And i began to belive that in to mee see was all about sex, i know it sounds stupid and grose, but i guess i want that closeness or love, and as i child i thought that was to be together with someone like being married, but i dont like that way of being together. I dont know how to have bonderies either so its difficult to be with other people. A part of me dont like people either. But i need people and i love them so much sometimes. Also I find it difficult to work because i dont know how to be around people, but i am really smart also but i dont allow myself to use that in a good way. I guess people with bpd are very sensitive, maby that could be a good thing.
Haha when i read this post its so ambivalent