Symbatine

Recognition that I am in the hazy area between victim-mode to adapting to able-to-comprehend-ability. I can see that maybe I can, but that's still a dot on the horizon.

I want my life to be in service of... When they talk about after I'm gone, or behind my back, I imagine they're saying how much she fought to be here in the present moment instead of zoning into a different world. I think they might appreciate the struggle that comes with being neurodivergent, that that means to the mainstream media, what it means to behind closed doors, and ultimately what it means to the individual.

What do I appreciate about myself. It has been a hard year's journey, and I'm still looking for that answer. Some days I appreciate my hair, some days I appreciate that I've made it this far so one more day shouldn't hurt, I've come to appreciate delicate smells and savories in my food, and I'm trying to appreciate my loved ones. I love them dearly, but I don't appreciate them as I ought to. That's all.

What am I most grateful for right now? It has been a difficult half year. I mean, yes, everyone has had a difficult year. What I mean is that despite all that happened since December, I'm grateful to be alive.