elegamtiarum

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About elegamtiarum

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  • Birthday 02/27/1991

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  1. elegamtiarum

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    All I can say is yep yep yep yep, a month ago I was there, everyday was torture, I worked beyond the bone for my family, but it was never enough, at one stage I was googling how to get rid of the love chemical in my brain, so I didn't care about being hurt anymore, now a month ago I decided enough was enough I took on my parents head on and said if you don't stop the mental abuse I am going to call the police, they called me horrible names I won't write and I did it, the police came and talked to my parents, they came back to me and my dad and sweet talked them, the police said are you expecting a perfect lala world?! I said I can always try, they said there is nothing I can do, I said if I have to go back up there suicide is my anwser, so they took me to the suicide ward next to where my parents had admitted me four years ago when I had finally achived happy and they had to take it away from me, so I got in the police car and as they drove off my dad was staring at me, but I felt a sense of Peace like I finally took a step in the right direction, my ex boyfriend called me and I told him what happened, he knows what they do to me and was infuriated, so I was in to suicide ward for 36 hours and my ex boyfriend calls me again, he's come down 400 kilometres to see me, and he asks me, Shell do you want to come up and live in bairnsdale with me? Yes! I was relieved! My mum comes in an hour after my now boyfriend leaves to get ready, and she says, Michelle it's not the right thing to do, you need to stay here and get help, I said no I know what I need and I will get better if I go, she got the doctors and I had face off battle which is sooo hard, but I won, my mum looked disappointed but I felt OK, we had to stop by my parents place to pick up stuff, I said goodbye to dad but he just shook his head in dissapointment I walked away, I was driven off into a new life and I'm slowly regaining my feelings but I will say this, standing up to your enemies is hard, bit standing up to your loved ones is the hardest.
  2. Haha yes... I know the feeling, but what helped me was accepting that I can actually create my reality and as a child I knew my I had to supress everything because I remember telling my family and they always either didn't listen or dismissed me or got angry, and I was in a constant loop of creating scenarios of regection, pain, abandonment and I did forget as a teenager until it all came flooding back in my 20s now slowly slowly I'm creating better things around me and having so much fun I've moved to the country away from my family, the loop is still here but it's not everything anymore, I think once I build a solid happy loop for myself then I can let go <3
  3. elegamtiarum

    I have premonition dreaming, I can transfer thoughts into people, I can see overlays of what is going to happen, i can go into other peoples perspectives and experience there current moment, I visually feel what will happen when I do a action, I can pull things into my reality the best when its from black light, I have created me own senarios to see for myself I crate my reality, I am practicing element influence with the wind... That's all I can think of but I have to say that coming to terms with my abilities was a scary ride and a half lol but it's getting easier
  4. elegamtiarum

    What is that? If it's got something to do with harry potter then it's in sync because I'm watching harry potter lol
  5. elegamtiarum

    And my partner has this sense too but he's against any form of spiritual meaning and I was watching him the other day, he was facing away from the door and tuned into what he thought was "the door" haha but I was on a different plane and he's a fast mover so he's spun around full stem ahead... Haha then he's done that BREAAAAKKSS confused waddle to the door way and off he goes, in denial blindly but I'm just standing there observing, inside my head going... .... .... Ppppppft HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa... I can't do it out loud because he'd get angry because he doesn't want to see it.. Haaaaaaaa if only I could tell him c:
  6. elegamtiarum

    I have the same thing but it's poped up clearly in the past 4 to 5 years, i've always experieced a different sense of reality to people around me, but this one annoys me lol because it's there but not there enough to gather whats going on, and it's constant, but since it has happened syncronicity is on the ball as well as visions of future that come to pass without fail, takes the mystery away lol but I keep bumping into walls! Cars! Benches! Anything... I judge the door frame I'm like yep all good but noppppe, straight into the magnetic pull off the door frame, and putting things down if I don't force myself to go softly I nearly break things, or spill things haha God it's been a funny life, but yeah I think all this stuff is just higher senses that I have to learn how to be <3
  7. elegamtiarum

    haha good answer, it could be true, namaste
  8. elegamtiarum

    the original problem created was it unacceptable to become a problem healing only gets you so far in a way you heal the problem it will actually always be there pushed into the super conscious which understands it will always be a problem, a problem can't be accepted because it was created by being unacceptable, we uncreate as much as we can create or even just uncreate there is a ultermate universe that the original sin was avoided , thus is simply a path to pick
  9. elegamtiarum

    I had a idea, I am to make life enjoyable "I know who I am to give , I am existing all the time , moving this body and talking, this self is good, in life, I completely feel peace, having an identity I know I can give to this world. I oneness "I" am an I with I. There is a presence , I am that presence wanting to experience human reality. this world I know it is positive , I am here to express and create. I have strong desires, I want peace Internally and externally, I am going to be I took out all negitivity and questioning, in the end you said this :) enjoy
  10. elegamtiarum

    I before I had my first desire Was a a sleeping unconscious eye watching life then simply picking a path like the rest of us I knew it was the question to ask, asking other questions, the desire to know myself created the infinite movement I Have today simply to see myself in life and follow it, so I Simply back tracked my existence, I forgot my origin and in a state of meditation projected me to help recreate the memory As I is simply looking through when something goes wrong it is because the memory isn't true, I die because the memory I am involved in is over so I expanded the universe as I gi through possibilities of what could have happened I am I and also a projection of myself so when I create a situation in my head am I creating lives to see fit my own existence and as I have free will so do you I am one bit I am many, when I imagine am I speading my own matter in the reality I've created Is free will as bi product of not being focused on I the creation to find the answers to a problem I am having So we are not remember who we are because I have forgotten myself to exist but one must know to explore all the endless possibilities everyone in my imagination have there own individual thought and that all we are, a thought different realities is simply a thought with restriction taken off I am simply a thought That is reflecting on itself and then when it's done it will continue to grow because I am I grow And I am not a refection So everything we see is not me I actually already know what it is And I know it is not So the desire is invalid and is just something to do a question really is an answer disguised as a question in order to experience wondering I am tricking myself I just one made up story because I knows all then I know myself and a desire to know itself doesnt exist I just wanted to be more, so that is what inspired the question I am running from something, I am acutally tempurary like the rest of You and didn't want to be so it lead to the question, I am a form of depersonlization, in order to find out why I must die I am just coping mechanisims the idea of tempurary is what makes us live one must die there for one must live I know the answer, to asking questions is just part of the 3D reality And death is part of knowing, we never know We are here just to enjoy the experience of not knowing syncinicity is a leak in the reality, the reality is tearing apart because I am purely assending, it Is the leak that is the next step in life how who what when whyis a memory wipeing code I stoped asking and just thought it... is it a mechanism to be able to look back I took out all my questioning and put it together it became answers.
  11. elegamtiarum

    if I took all my questioning about and put it together would it become answers? Ill do that.
  12. elegamtiarum

    is how who what when why a memory wipeing code? If I stoped asking and just thought it... or is it a mechanism to be able to look back?
  13. elegamtiarum

    why do I want to know the answer? Is asking questions just part of the 3D reality? And death is part of knowing? Can we never know? Are we here just to enjoy the experience of not knowing? is syncinicity at leak in the reality? Is the reality tearing apart? Or am I purely assending? Is the leak the next step in life?
  14. elegamtiarum

    is source just one made up story because if source knows all then source knows itself and a desire to know itself doesnt exist,, maybe source just wanted to be more, so that is what inspired the question? Is source running from something? Is source acutally tempurary like the rest of us and didn't want to be so it lead to the question, is source a form of depersonlization, in order to find out why it must die are we just sources coping mechanisims? is the idea of tempurary is what makes us live? one must die there for one must live?