Mostly my environment. I can't seem to get away from this home that isn't mine. I've changed as a person, completely as an entirely different person year after year, yet disappointment comes when I've still failed at changing my environment. It keeps me from truly healing from my past traumas as most reside here, and not only the house itself but it's owner as well. Yet work hasn't worked out as my body couldn't take what was required for it (endometriosis). Though I'm creating a business together with a friend in hopes it will get us both to where we want to be, the process is rather slow. I love working on our business, but I'm afraid it will be another ten years before I can finally feel free. I probably sound very dramatic, hell maybe I am. But being stuck in my own room constantly being gaslit and reliving trauma isn't my idea of living. I feel like I have chains around my ankles and the person holding them is telling me to run, only to yank them back and my face just hits the floor again.