David B

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About David B

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  1. It's not like I intentionally went behind his back... I didn't know what was going on, my tenants lights had been turned off because the guy forgot to pay the bill... So it was nearing the end of the day, so instead of getting in touch with the guy, I went straight to, let's make sure my tenant has lights on for the evening. .... I think I underrated his content of character. You are right that I am having to learn some boundary issues,,, because I feel so grateful because I'm so blessed to have great parents, and have had a descent up bringing... ... so yeah, my goal for 2018, is cut down on helping people. People aren't my problem. I need to be more a cold hearted republican. Thank you for the reply.
  2. Anger/ Hidden aspects of self – Confused – LOA So, I’m perplexed. I’m trying to take responsibility and grow…. Life keeps giving you the same lesson until you learn what you’re supposed to learn, right? So very recently, it seems like, I’ve attracting, or rather, It’s a reflection of inner aspects of myself (that I don’t know what to do with!) where people are reacting in a very weird and irrational way, almost to the verge of Violence. The first instance was in a coffee shop when a made a comment to random guy, kinda eavesdropping on their conversation where I shared my perspective that, conflict wasn’t necessarily what we think it is… it’s a flavor of harmony… kinda like where two people are dancing and but they are stepping on each others’ toes... … well he went off the rails, and 3 minutes later, as he was pacing behind me, he was wishing demons upon me and that I should be very afraid. The second instance… I manage some rental properties in the hood… yadda yadda yadda,,, a tenants lights got turned off,,, So I volunteered to help, and paid the past due amount on the electric bill to get them turned back on (subsequently, the guy responsible for paying, he and I paid it at the same time). Anyway, he thinks that he shouldn’t have to pay me back, because I went behind his back to pay it. Everytime he and I “talk” it’s just him ranting at me. And threated me that there would be trouble if I came over to his house. Ps… and he called me a “real nigger” as if I’m all gangster and know the rules of the street code… and that if I came over to his house to talk… it would be I’m coming over with my friends Smith and Wesson… Needless to say, I don’t own guns. Anyway, I don’t know what I’m suppose to learn… am I suppose to be standing up, being more assertive, for myself? Or what? I don’t know what I don’t know. And, if as a miscellaneous item... the Las Vegas Shooting... I'm not "personally" effected... so from my perspective, I believed the first victim was the shooter himself... So I offered him compassion and forgiveness. Thank you for your comments.
  3. Hey Holographic Light, I indeed feel like I'm a close "vibrational match" to you. (i'm about to post a new topic about my anger weirdness situation) I'm a seeker... my first thing (and frustration myself) is finding our tribe here on earth... to have people to share with, not just the metaphysical beings for help... and I feel inclined to share my highlights from the book I recently read: Tuesday’s With Morrie – Mitch Albom I traded lots of dreams for a bigger paycheck, and I never realized I was doing it. Have you found someone to share your heart with? Are you giving to your community? Are you at peace with yourself? Are you trying to be as human as you can be? “Dying,” Morrie suddenly said, “is only one thing to be sad over, Mitch, Living unhappily is something else. So many of the people who come to visit me are unhappy.” Why? “Well, for one thing, the culture we have does not make people feel good about themselves. We’re teaching the wrong things. And you have to be strong enough to say if the culture doesn’t work, don’t buy it. Create your own. “The Culture we have does not make people feel good about themselves. And you have to be strong enough to say if the culture doesn’t work, don’t buy it.” The most important thing in life is to learn how to give out love, and to let it come in. Yes, I said, but if ageing were so valuable, why do people always say, “Oh, if I were young again.” You never hear people say, “I wish I were sixty-five.” He smiled. “You know what that reflects? Unsatisfied lives. Unfulfilled lives. Lives that haven’t found meaning. Because if you’ve found meaning in your life, you don’t want to go back. You want to go forward. You want to see more, do more. You can’t wait until sixty-five. “Part of the problem, Mitch, is that everyone is in such a hurry,” Morrie said. “People haven’t found meaning in their lives, so they’re running all the time looking for it. They think the next car, the next house, the next job. Then they find those things are empty, too, and they keep running.” “Still,” he said, “There are a few rules I know to be true about love and marriage: If you don’t respect the other person, you’re gonna have a lot of trouble. If you don’t know how to compromise, you’re gonna have a lot of trouble. If you can’t talk openly about what goes on between you, you’re gonna have a lot of trouble. And if you don’t have a common set of values in life, you’re gonna have a lot of trouble. Your values must be alike.
  4. I agree. The universe is Stupid. With so many people with different levels of consciousness,,, it can be a hopeless place. But, It's amazing that consciousness exists in the first place. Our world is a work in a progress and it's up to us whether we assume responsibility to changing it's design. I'm not sure if that really is a choice or not. - Study, Practice, Teach. - What Dreams may come. Keep up the good work Loraine ;-)
  5. Photo #25 Egret vs Swan Thought I'd share this link of the Weather Channels 2017 Photo contest... (you'll have to click around to see the official winners) This is the slide show of the runner ups: https://weather.com/photos/places/news/photo-contest-winners#/5 Not sure what the difference between an egret and a swan is, but #25 is...
  6. My real question is how do I stop overthinking and fearing it obsessively? Will I ever accept the fact that he would never cheat? .... Personal development and self growth... When you grow in your faith in yourself that he'd be stupid to find somebody else. If you just remain average in your own mind you'll have the fear. So instead of acting on filling your neglected emotional needs in other people, fill that void in creating and pursuing a passion. The Catch is, when you become that much more of your awesome self, he's going to have to raise his own bar to maintain. He'll have to learn to fullfil your needs accordingly (which shouldn't be a problem when your becoming even more desirable than you already are). I hope I made sense. If anything... if this relationship doesn't work out, do you think you're destined to loneliness? iow... How many days are there in 50 years? You're 20 years old... 18,250 days. Anything is Possible. Infinite Possibilities. But if you think there is an irrevocable doubt in any relationship... Cut the cord hard, fast, and decisive. .... and if you think about him and rather string it out... I'd say, come on dude, what were you really expecting? I think Age is definitely an issue... I think he's the one with maturity issues, and you're right to think that he might cheat himself. Never go against your intuition. It's normally right.
  7. I've experienced this question of Loyalty. You think they see your sacrifice and love for them, but they are in a place that they can't see or appreciate your efforts. It's sounds like your putting your life on Pause. If what I am saying is correct... the universe will eventually twist in a way that will make it utterly impossible, or unbearable to remain friends with your low energy friends. But with that, you don't actually leave them, you carry them with you in your heart, Just as you do now. ... The middle way would be to remain on your high vibration path, and always be open to them with an open hand, and remind them periodically that your there for them.
  8. Talk about a rock and a hard place. I think Honesty goes a long way towards healing wounds and building trust. ('m just going to think out loud...) Normally, I feel the easiest answer would be to give him permission to use porn to rub one out every once in a while, but it's a porn addict, I can't help but say, he'll take a mile when your only trying to be ok with an inch. The Zebra can't change his stripes. You're asking for the impossible. Perhaps, your trying to use this relationship to heal the past relationship. If I could wave a wand, I'd say open yourself up to infinite possibilities. Notice the type of guy you're attracted to, and that's the subconscious blue print to stay stuck in a pattern of porn-dudes. Open yourself up to the possibility to be able to fall for a guy who may not necessarily 'be your type'. Last thought about the problem... Teal's completion process will tell you that the problem didn't start with the first boyfriend... it started much earlier in your life than that. Heal that issue, and you're self will improve. ... But one thing I noticed is that you're needing the other person to change their behavior. What is love? Isn't it completely accepting the whole person? Even their shadow side? With that said, You can't Not feel the way you feel. Porn is unacceptable to you. You're partner should be able to explain why porn in unacceptable to themselves to. Make your decisions accordingly. So in conclusion, A. You can stay the same, but your not going to since you've asked for help and want change. B. You can do the Healing work with the completion process (and I loved teals book shadows before dawn). C. Leave the relationship, and date only guys who share the same views towards porn as you do. Have a Boundary. If I can get some feedback from you... was I too harsh? or were my thoughts good enough to make a point? ... I want to be a better comment person. Charle Bukowski oh yes there are worse things than being alone but it often takes decades to realize this and most often when you do it's too late and there's nothing worse than too late.
  9. Energetic Clay Vest & Relationships Does anyone remember the Teal Synchronization workshop where she was with the suicidal military guy with similar psychic gifts, and he was holding onto people's energy as if it was his responsibility, and Teal was with him, trying to get him to release those energies with her? I'm no where close to being that Third Eye Opened, but I wonder if i've unknowingly absorbed some hurt energy that I can't let go of / won't allow myself to let go of. I live about 40 minutes from the beach in Jacksonville FL, and I've finally made it to the beach this summer (I have heat issues),,, and I've gone five days in the past week for about an hour at days end. For about twenty minutes, I'd just sit, meditation posture, and just try to let my soul marinate in the cacophony of the waves, and let the blue and grey pastels reflect on my eyes and into my mind. And I try to feel my emery, to let it open up, but it feels like I'm wearing a thick clay vest. Also, at this point in my life, I'm feeling pretty depressed about relationships, or rather my lack thereof. I'm not that out going, but not a complete hermit. Any comments for Help Getting the clay vest off?
  10. Something funny you reminded me of.... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fnDV296QKFM Are you following in your mothers footsteps in terms of men? Our parents are what we think is a normal loving relationship... but back in those days there was a lot of unconscious dysfunctional issues going on, so we may not have had the optimal imprint when it comes to what healthy relationships look like. If you have this bad example, it will take a conscious effort to change the kind of man you'll be attracted to. So what kind of man do you think you want? Also, you may have trouble finding this man, because your friends seem to share the same negative attitude (energy) towards men. So I'd suggest getting MORE female friends who have healthy successful male partners...
  11. I really like the Book Power versus Force by David R Hawkins... he has his map of consciousness chart as such: I Don't consider anger as a bad thing, it's just energy. But it's just getting trapped. ... I focused on Enjoying the Ride, Enjoy the Journey.
  12. The Journey Vs The Destination Ok, I hate the journey... or rather, I really like to get to the destination... So I have trouble enjoying the journey. I posting because, My Shoulders are getting super tense and tight when I drive, which is pinching the ulnar nerve in my neck... which isn't Fun. That's the short story. I thought it might have been that i was subconsciously suppressing my Road Rage, and it's energy goes into my shoulders. I consider myself a calm guy, and slow to temper. I don't explode at all. "What difference does it really make?" I know this issue is just about driving, but I feel it's applicable in all aspects of my life. I feel like I'm a Type A person, but impotent. I don't like "hanging out" because I feel I should be "Accomplishing My Goals." ... which isn't very inspiring. Money isn't really the purpose of life. Everything seems like a paradox or a catch 22. I'm so unmotivated. My core frequency is powerlessness. It's weird. It seems like I should be suicidal, But I'm not. I thought I needed to make Ergonomic changes... but really, It's the mental changes when I drive... How do I enjoy the journey, after years of self-sub-conscious programming?
  13. I did the young adult smoking thing... I remember quiting cigarettes in college to afford to be able to smoke more Pot. Priorities! Anyway, they way I quit, because it was an on and off thing, is that I had a few drinks one evening planning on having a hangover, and just blamed the cravings as part of the hangover. So I tried to sleep and drink as much Ice Water as possible. As far as freaking out over the cancer thing, Look up on the internet the timeline how the lungs regenerate themselves, and heal themselves after quiting. But to get down to how the Mind Works, It's going to find something to worry about if it's not busy doing something, or worrying about something else... They call it "Running Anxiety." So wouldn't label yourself (or Myself) a Hypochondriac. We Human Beings are way to multidimensional to be boxed in by Labels. Infinite Possibilities! So Other than Being a Non-Smoker, Do you have a dream? Is there something cool you want to do or be able to do?
  14. IMG_1087.MOVIMG_1087.MOV IMG_1087.MOV I thought This was suppose to be posted, Luckily I copied it: Sounds like you've fell in love with somebody hardcore whom doesn't reciprocate the same thing... She probably has a different vision for her life that doesn't include you. I have an ex, she was older than I, and i was much more into her, and the relationship just kinda melted after seven months,,, then she moved from Jacksonville to NY for a summer,,, With her ex boyfriend!!! lol, talk about the worst thing you could do to somebody. Anyway, she came back to Jax, without her ex, and was maybe hoping to hangout or whatever, but not date,,, and it was all anxious and depressed with her around. Soon after she came back, there was a wedding to go to with mutual friends, and I brought my own beer least to say I didn't want to risk being sober through that shit. So i got pretty hammered. I guess what I'm trying to say is, you're gonna be fucked up for a while, but it's not the end of the world. However, if you got that Kundalini action going, that's awesome. The nectar of self-love. ... something will happen you'll never see coming ... And if you're happy with yourself and your life, that's attractive stuff. Anyway, don't take your emotions to seriously, you have to laugh at the madness of it all. ... Lastly, as I ramble, I'd remind myself, not to make it all about her, you are a give to the World! Take those world to heart and who know, Maybe you will have your cake and eat it too :-)
  15. Fractured -> Transformation --- Integrating negative people? Essentially everything in my life is fractured,,, it begins with the cell phone, the ipod, and now last week, i fractured my computer screen... My car needs a new shock absorber in the rear right... My home I rent, needs a new roof, the washer and dryer need to be replace, floors refinished, a roommate is subpar with rent but I've kinda grandfathered him in... My body has been fractured for a while, with shoulder and chest injures, prior to that chronic foot injuries... I'm chronically financially tight... and I've always had a 'best' friend, who is a fractured person, and was very loyal too, disowned/estranged me after over 8 years of friendship, my crime, Voting for a particular somebody. So teal had a twitter quote today, saying that everything must fall apart in order to be transformed. What am transforming into? I take the message of integration to heart, particularly with my fractured friend, being that national politics is just a reflection of our personal decisions. Am I not suppose to try and integrate my gemini twin and reconcile our differences, or am I just suppose upgrade to a new friend? Also, I feel like im being open to everyone. Like Im letting down boundaries. I don't drink, but I ended up talking to some drunk guy the other night, just being present with him. After a while, I felt like I was wasting my time. I feel I'm wasting a lot of time... and I'm not sure what I really want to commit to. I'd like comments about everything in general, not just on the topic of my friend. Thanks