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About Open_Eyes_Say_Yes

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  • Birthday 09/27/1983

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  1. Open_Eyes_Say_Yes

    You appear to have good insight into the psychological dynamics that have made you feel stuck in this situation. At 18 I didn't have the awareness you have and it's only now in my 30s that I have realised my mothers narcissitic personality and the overall dysfunctional environment of my family has left me with huge feelings of emptiness. For you to have already worked out you need to free yourself of your dysfunctional family is very progressive. Many people stay trapped, often unconsciously for their entire lifetime. I really like the tool Teal uses to increase your self compassion. Get a picture of yourself as a small child. Spend time thinking about what that small child has been put through and how they did not deserve any of this. I hope you keep fighting for the better life you deserve.
  2. Open_Eyes_Say_Yes

    As I'm going through the book what seems to be a reoccurring theme is the concept of not rushing any of the steps. Ultimately the very premise of the shadow work is to bring unconditional presence to disowned aspects of yourself and she makes a point about how time isn't necessarily a concept during your experiences of memories. At the same time maybe it's worth noticing if you're reverting to using coping mechanisms to avoid facing the pain in triggers which is the beggining step of the completion process. I'm feeling quite in awe of how she (or mentioned clients) are able to recollect memories and change perspectives from adult to inner child. I hardly have any memories from my childhood and my imagination feels lacking so it seems like I'll never get to a stage of such vivid recollections that could be reconstructed.
  3. Open_Eyes_Say_Yes

    Hi All, I'm having a really hard time at the moment. I'm a single parent with 4 children. I come from a dysfunctional family where my dad is aspergic, my mum has bpd and I suspect my sister has npd. Both fathers of my children are emotionally absent and one has NPD so is still trying to control and sabotage my life. He makes repeated false allegations to social services and my house is for sale but is unlikely to sell as my ex has it on the market at too high a price (so I can't receive the settlement from it). I will have to drive my children across town as I can't move house unless I wait or give up the settlement which is a large sum and I fought in court for. Above all this I have social anxiety and find it incredible difficult to sleep close by to someone without feeling super anxious. I have major body image issues as my stomach is literally covered in stretchmarks. I had a tummy tuck on the NHS but the surgeon left a lot of excess skin so has offered to do a revision but I fear the operation. I feel very unattractive and this affects my relationships with men. I feel attracted to women too but can't dephipher if it's only because I've become scared that I'm too unattractive to men. I'm considering antidepressants but worry that I won't feel as mentally sharp and lose myself into a drug like haze. Not sure what to do for the best as the main thing is my life feels very restricted not being able to sleep close to others
  4. Open_Eyes_Say_Yes

    I rewatched Teal's video positive focus V Shadow work and this answered this question. What I was concerned about with CBT is that it uses only positive focus and could be used to avoid doing shadow work
  5. Open_Eyes_Say_Yes

    I'm embarking on acceptance and commitment therapy and already the main premises of it have really hit home for me. The therapy essentially gets you to outline what is personally most meaningful to you and then work on using mindfulness skills to enable you to deal with fear that is stopping you from acquiring the things you should prioratise. I have cut down on many of the distractions that were stopping me from facing my fears (e.g shoppig, social media, overeating). My fears mainly relate to social anxiety and I have been inviting people round, going on dates and phoning people but I'm finding it so exhausting. It's hard to decipher if I'm making progress as I'm doing the things that are more meaningful but finding them very stressful still! It's undermining my confidence that I will ever get to a stage of being able to face my fears without being crushed with anxiety. Any advice please?
  6. Open_Eyes_Say_Yes

    Top tune!
  7. Open_Eyes_Say_Yes

    Pretty pretty music!
  8. I woke from a nightmare this morning that part of me was decaying. There was a woman in the dream who was surprised by how I hadn't noticed the severity of my condition. The video Teal released today felt very apt!
  9. Open_Eyes_Say_Yes

    He who binds to himself a joy Does the winged life destroy; But he who kisses the joy as it flies Lives in eternity's sun rise. William Blake
  10. Open_Eyes_Say_Yes

    I have been referred by my GP for Cognitive Behavioural and Acceptance and Commitment focused therapy. Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) gets it name from one of its core messages: to accept what is out of your personal control, while committing to action that will improve your quality of life. The aim of ACT is to help people create a rich full and meaningful life, while effectively handling the pain and stress that life inevitably brings. ACT attempts to do this by: a) teaching psychological skills to deal with painful thoughts and feelings effectively – in such a way that they have much less impact and influence over you (mindfulness skills) b) helping to clarify what is truly important and meaningful to you - ie your values - then use that knowledge to guide, inspire and motivate you to change your life for the better. Do you think this type of therapy compliments shadow work?
  11. Open_Eyes_Say_Yes

    I wonder why the term n-a-r-c-I-s-s-s-t-I-c is forbidden on this site?
  12. Open_Eyes_Say_Yes

    Hi Bernadette I can relate to your situation. I have 3 children with an ex who is highly !!!!!. I definitely apply the grey rock approach as essentially I believe they are emotional toddlers and feed off any attention, so providing them with negative responses encourages them to still contact you (create drama). Also if you are still responding to them it implies you're still seeking some form of validation from them which I think part of healing and empowerment is letting go of this. I stick to only email contact about only necessary issues and all drop offs and pick ups are done via a third party. I still feel an attraction to the !!!!! though and have recently become interested in doing Melanie Tonia Evan's recovery model to try and shift the underlying trauma/ shadow aspects that are still emotionally keeping me attracted to narcissists. Teal's new book on the completion process appeals too as I believe part of what drew me to the !!!!! is my matching emotional level of maturity. Would like to share a healing journey with you and others on here!