Olivia Bell

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About Olivia Bell

  • Member Type
    Member
  • Birthday 07/19/1978

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  1. Olivia Bell

    Arguing over semantics? Oh, I used the wrong WORD? Right... Mai-da, you're an idiot and abuser.
  2. Olivia Bell

    Um, yes, starving, Mai-da. Why did you bother saying hi if all you want to do is mock someone saying their truth? That is literally how I feel. Starving for connection. And clearly, the place to find it is not here. I still love Teal. This emptiness has nothing to do with her. But yeah, forget it.
  3. Olivia Bell

    I am starving for real, into-me-see intimate, present, authentic friendship. True connection and commitment to that. I want to be able to have problems come up and we deal with them. I would like to see if you would like to be my friend.
  4. I am starving for real, into-me-see intimate, present, authentic friendship. True connection and commitment to that. I want to be able to have problems come up and we deal with them. I would like to see if you would like to be my friend.
  5. Olivia Bell

    Thank you, Rob. I only just discovered this. What a lovely gift to find waiting for me. You gave me love in this, so I say thank you for your love?
  6. Olivia Bell

    Practicing is so hard. I'm still ashamed of crying in front of people, and I know better than to be ashamed, but whew that stuff still sticks. I do cry often, like everyday. Sometimes it just is embarrassing because it's just something small but precious that I see or hear and I can't contain how touched I am. Yeah, I'm lonely. But that doesn't cover it. How does any of this relate to what you wrote? I'm bothered that I'm not practicing everything you teach at once. And I know better than to try perfection too-the nothing/perfection game. But again, this stuff still sticks. I've been thinking a lot about the 'hurt me' vs the 'angry me', so in a way, I'm doing it. But I'm not *practicing* anything. All of your videos, your books, your blog. I'm endlessly hungry for every insight, and suggested practice, but I feel the sting of imagined exasperation in you, if we were to be face to face: "Stop studying, and start practicing, Olivia". I'm just going through the same questioning over and over. Maybe that's something. But I'm "onto" me. I know she is a slacker-well, that's some childhood trauma, but whatever. I love you for your repeated wisdom and love. I want to be better.
  7. Olivia Bell

    You're doing something right, Teal. Thank you. Keep pushing me, because I need it.
  8. Olivia Bell

    such a beautiful description. thank you, Teal<3
  9. Olivia Bell

    Mine were "Stand by Me" (I'm Gordy, played by Wil Wheaton, "the invisible boy" with his parents, & the writer), & "The Neverending Story" (I'm the kid hiding in the attic of my school, Bastian, reading a book that is encouraging me to keep dreaming to my heart's desire, despite no one in my life wanting me to).