Being independent. Travelling. Being outside in nature. Doing Philosophy with a friend. Teaching. Buying stuff that improves my life & has style. Being involved in a community of people (like Teals or like university). Doing sport. Having Barbeque. Playing Magic-Cards (Magic the Gathering). Going out for lunch. Having a walk. Learning. Speaking english. Having a hot bath. Cooking. Going to the Zoo. Swimming, especially outdoors. Feeling "at home". Being apprechiated.
What risk am I taking right now
The risk of carring a burden.
and what risk am I not taking right now
The risk of being open about a mistake I made years ago (a literal mistake, not a moral wrongdoing). Also the risk of overwhelming myself by making a diffult situation even more difficult.
Maybe I'm scared of the consequences. But more spefically I'm scared of feeling guilty and will be ashamed and on my own in that misery.
It's a really common name in germany. When I was born, it was even in the Top 10 of male german names. Wikipedia: "Florian (or a local equivalent) remains a common name in Austria, Germany, Switzerland, France, the Netherlands, Belgium, and Poland."