Sunshine997

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About Sunshine997

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  1. The somatic sensation I feel when I feel my feelings of loneliness are intense. It is hard for me to feel because its literally feels like I am being cut in a vertical line from my lower stomach to my heart chakra. The cut also feels deep and profound like an abyss filled with darkness.
  2. Feeling Isolated Hey everyone, I always feel like no one wants me. I don't necessarily mean this in a romantic way, since it happens with any type of relationship I have to an extend. I would suppose this might be my core negative imprint since I feel this way often. I was left by my father at a young age and the times that I remember belonging as a child didn't last either. I had two best friends when I was in Elementary they ended up moving one after the other. Before the last one left I ended up telling her that I felt that she was my bestfriend and she said she didn't feel the same way. I was torn by this and I think this might also add to my feelings of being wanted and not good enough. It ends up making me feel like they are special to me, but I am worthless and disposable to them. I wrote this and shared part of my life in the hopes that I would feel less isolated by having someone understand my difficulties in connection.
  3. Thanks, for replying. I hadn't logged in, in a while just because I didn't think anyone would respond. I am doing a whole lot better than I was before. Since then I have had two sessions with different Completion Process Practitioners. They have both helped me a lot, and the same undertones of pain isn't as intense as before. :)
  4. Yeah we do still have things in common, but it seems as soon as I leave or stop seeking them they forget about me entirely. The only time i talk to them is if i reach out to them.
  5. Emotional Abandonment Lately ive felt emotionally abandoned by my two best friends. I care about them both deeply and in different ways as well but I cant help feeling neglected by them. I have known one of them for about 7 years and she hardly seems to reach out to me. It seems that the only time she does is when i text her and she feels guilty about it and replies to me later on. I feel better when i see her in person and I try to understand that she has a hard time feeling, feelings so i try to not take her disconnection from me personally but i cant help. Most of the time it still hurts. 😞 I cant help but notice some patterns between them. They both forget to check in with me eventhough ive talked to both about how important it is for me. They both make me feel distanced from them and like they could take me or leave me with their actions anyways. I think the root of this stems from childhood abandoment and emotional neglect. Im interested in hearing others relationships patterns and your thoughts on mine.
  6. I had my first session with a practicioner a a few days ago. It was definitely helpful.
  7. Incomplete Completion Process I've used the CP for a while now but i have never fully felt my emotions all the way through. I have gotten to the point where I feel some relief but I can always still feel dense feelings underneath. I know im scared of them and the uncertainty their pain can cause me. Ive tried to sink into that too but it doesnt seem to give me the same feeling of well-being that ive heard others describe after their CP. I think im highly resistant to emotions but Ive also tried to use the recommendations Teal has in her book about what to do if the CP doesnt work. I also dont get any images when I do this so I feel like I have less information to work with.
  8. Incomplete Completion Process I've used the CP for a while now but i have never fully felt my emotions all the way through. I have gotten to the point where I feel some relief but I can always still feel dense feelings underneath. I know im scared of them and the uncertainty their pain can cause me. Ive tried to sink into that too but it doesnt seem to give me the same feeling of well-being that ive heard others describe after their CP. I think im highly resistant to emotions but Ive also tried to use the recommendations Teal has in her book about what to do if the CP doesnt work. I also dont get any images when I do this so I feel like I have less information to work with.
  9. Cant finish CP I've used the CP for a while now but i have never fully felt my emotions all the way through. I have gotten to the point where I feel some relief but I can always still feel dense feelings underneath. I know im scared of them and the uncertainty their pain can cause me. Ive tried to sink into that too but it doesnt seem to give me the same feeling of well-being that ive heard others describe after their CP. I think im highly resistant to emotions but Ive also tried to use the recommendations Teal has in her book about what to do if the CP doesnt work. I also dont get any images when I do this so I feel like I have less information to work with.
  10. No Images CP Ive been waiting off on asking this question because ive heard Teal mention it before but im still not sure so i'd like to hear others opinnions. I have little memory from my childhood so ive been working with the emotions I recieve. But part of me just feels like im doing the process wrong because even in meditations I ask to see aspects of myself in images I just get a somatic feeling. Also my dad was guiding me through the CP once and he was able to see the images of me and where I was but i only felt the emotion. I dont understand how this might work. If I could get some feedback from those who started the Completion Process who also dont have many memories from childhood and who eventually recieved memories.
  11. Yeah, I was born in 1997. Also I forgot to mention that since that day I accepted I was going to lose him I havent had people leave me that way. However, I still struggle letting people in because I feel like im going to get hurt by them.
  12. My dad divorced my mom when I was young. I developed a strong need to find another father figure. I found one person who took over my father figure role but when I was 12 I wasn't able to see him anymore without any warning. I found a teacher who cared about me but one day I was told he was leaving. Then I became attached to another teacher who also seemed to care about me and he decided to leave unexpectedly. I got close to another teacher and he decided he was leaving. I was devastated. I was trying to accept that I was going to lose another person I cared about. Once I faced the fact that he was leaving and felt okay about this happening I looked at my computer and their was a mass email sent saying he was going to stay.
  13. I had a little puppy when I was young. When I read your story it reminded me of this puppy. I feel guilty for hurting the puppy too. I would just roughly push the puppy and it would hit the wall then I would call it back nicely and do the same thing over again. I feel pretty guilty for it but I understand that there was a reason behind it. I was mistreated as a child.
  14. I heard that if you feel like your being pulled out of the emotion your mind is pulling you out, try acknowledging your fears and validate your mind then cut imaginary wires between you and your mind and remember to do it with kindness.
  15. Well I seem to want connection but have not been able to attract anyone physically to give it to me. I understand how it feels it feels like your running on empty.