Lisette Nilsson

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About Lisette Nilsson

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  • Birthday 12/08/91

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  1. Thank you! I think so too I believe there have been many times when I haven't done the completion process perfectly right, but it still seems to have worked. Most of the time I feel peaceful and harmonious afterwards, although sometimes I feel tired and exhausted as well, particularly if I have done a lot of shadow work several days in a row. I have felt a strong need to ground myself lately, because I've realized that the more I get caught up in spirituality and doing inner work, the more I lose contact with the physical "reality" and my responsibilities, and so I basically end up focusing only on my inner world and neglecting my outer world *Hello dirty dishes, messy room and neglected responsibilities*. I have decided to start practicing yoga on a daily basis though, hopefully it will help me to ground myself.
  2. Hi everyone! I've been practicing the completion process on myself for about a year and a half now, and normally I feel pretty good emotionally afterwards. However, over the past few days I've been doing the completion process on a lot of different memories (memories popping up within memories and stuff like that), and I feel like one of the "lost" aspects of me that I integrated was especially large. I could physically feel how it sort of came back and filled a big gap in me. Now, two days after, I feel pretty exhausted, and I don't feel motivated to do the completion process at all. Right now (even though I feel like the process has been really successful for me), I just feel like "Screw it! I hate doing this, it's depressing, energy consuming and draining and I hate it!", so I'm going to listen to that and not do any more shadow work for a while, until I feel like I have enough energy and motivation to work with the part of me that hates doing shadow work x) I think the reason why I might feel exhausted is because I've put a lot of pressure on myself recently. My mindset recently has been that "I need to work through my 'shit' as fast as possible so that it can stop destroying my life and so that I can finally have abundance, money, self-confidence and realize my dreams". Doesn't sound exhausting and harsh at all... *no pressure* Anyways, what I wanted to ask is, do you guys always feel energized and filled with positive emotions after doing the completion process, or do you sometimes feel exhausted or tired too?
  3. Thank you so much everyone for replying <3 @Robert Froyen @mufhry @Curlylupe @duygu_s @Garnet @Tove @Amazawa @lost I'd love to connect with those of you who feel like doing so. I've been improving quite a lot in just a few weeks, I know it sounds a bit corny, but a few weeks ago I had the realization that life really is just a game. I've "known" it before, on an intellectual level, but I've never really felt it in my heart before. It's like knowing without really knowing, if you know what I mean. It was as if I realized that, no matter what I do here, whether I become super successful or not, whether I "change the world" or not, whether I find my purpose or not, I'm going to die one day. No matter what we do, no matter how "great" or "mediocre" our lives are, we're all going to die and go back to the same place, to the same source and maybe one day eventually choose to come back into physical form, or another form in another dimension. It wasn't a depressing feeling, but rather a liberating and uplifting one. It was as if, for the first time, I really grasped that I can't get this life wrong. No matter what I do, even if I fail miserably by society's standard, it will be a life worth lived. So, what this insight has allowed me to do is to really start living life according to what gives me joy here in the moment, instead of sitting around hoping to find it one day in the future. I'm still aware of the future and my dreams but I'm not obsessed about it in the same way as I used to be. Instead, I'm focusing on living each day according to what gives me the most joy, I try to really take one day at a time and to truly appreciate the small beautiful things and moments in everyday life. It has made a tremendous difference in my mental wellbeing so far. It's such a simple thing to do, yet it was such a hard thing for me to really "get", before I just got it. I was driving the car at work when it just came to me and I went "Holy ****, how could I not have realized this before??". I consider it a sign from the universe Also, for those of you who are in a similar situation I'd highly recommend the Youtube video "Chronic Fatigue - Teal Swan". It's a recording from one of her synchronization workshops. It was exactly what I needed to hear. That video, and the realization I had, basically changed how I view my life in just a day x) It's crazy. Again, thank you everyone, and feel free to connect if you'd like. Love and light to you <3
  4. "Burnout" and depression Hi everyone, I posted here a few months ago and I want to thank everyone who replied to that post. I am currently, and have been for a long time, going through a depression and what in not so medical terms would be called a "burnout". I was always the top student in school, obsessed with getting good grades because that was the only way I could compensate for my lack of self-worth and feel that I was lovable and "good enough". I've had my share of emotional trauma during my childhood and my obsession with being "perfect" has now resulted in me collapsing totally. I'm 24 years old, turning 25 in December, by the way. I've been feeling like this on and off for several years, and 2015 and 2016 have been the worst years of my life so far. I recently "graduated" from university (although I haven't gotten my diploma because I haven't finished all of my courses). The majority of my time at university I felt exhausted, depressed and I knew I was about to hit a giant wall sooner or later, where I would no longer be able to put up the facade of being able to hold it together. I felt that the field of study that I had chosen (biology) wasn't right for me but still I kept trying to make it work. My boyfriend at the time, who comes from a culture which mentality is to always work hard, be honorable and never ever be weak or give up, didn't understand me and told me to just "keep it together and keep going" (giant reflection of my dad, of course…). So I kept pushing myself. I remember one day, in May 2015, I went to the schools' psychologist and broke down in tears. I told her how tired and exhausted I was, how I couldn't do this anymore and how hopeless everything felt. She scheduled an appointment with the school's doctor, who gave me a prescription for antidepressants, which I never took. It felt like nobody really understood me. In September 2015 I went to England as an exchange student, hoping that it would change everything for the better, that it would give me my zest for life back. It didn't. Instead, I felt worse than ever. I felt more sluggish, tired, exhausted, unmotivated and hopelessly depressed than I ever had before. I also broke up with my boyfriend, which left me feeling even worse, althoug I knew it was "the right thing" to do. I was relieved to come back home after the semester was over, but the fatigue and the depression didn't go away, it got even worse. I felt like I wanted to die, and I couldn't see any end to my suffering. I managed to get a job after my "graduation", at a company I had been wanting to work for since I was little, but the job was really stressful. I also had a very irregular work schedule. Some days I would start work at 7 am and finish 4 pm, and some day I would start work at 1 am and finish work by 11 pm. I can't do it anymore. My body has given up. I feel like I'm in this fog all the time. My head feels dizzy and foggy and no matter how much I sleep I still feel completely exhausted when I wake up. I was hoping things would start getting better by now. I have had one, if not several "awakenings", I've become really conscious of myself, I’ve done so much shadow work, I've grown so much over the past year, and this is what life rewards me with (sorry for being pessimistic right now). I've been trying to not have any resistance to feeling depressed, but it doesn't help. It breaks my heart to know that this is what my life will look like for one or two years, maybe more, before I can finally start being normal again. The reason I started working for this company, was to save up money for travel. If there's one thing I'm sure I want to do in my life, it is to travel (I blame my Sagittarius sun for that, partly). I want to write, to have a blog where I can inspire and help people. I want to make Youtube videos that inspire people. I want to make the world a better place, but it frustrates me and makes me want to smack people in the face when they tell me to “follow my dreams”. I would have followed my dreams already, if I could. It made me absolutely nuts the other day when my brother told me what the medium he recently went to had said when he asked if she had any advice for any of his family members. The medium, or well, her guide, had told him that I (his sister) need to change my mindset regarding work, and that I have a vision of what I want to do, and that the time for me to do that is now, not later, and that I have to be brave enough to do it. I makes me absolutely furious. It’s easy for her (the guide) to say, who doesn’t have to be weighed down by human feelings and human perceptions. My dream is to travel, make videos and write and inspire others, but HOW could I possibly do that, when the total amount of my savings is the equivalent of 1520 USD? I would probably be able to travel for a month or so, if I travel really cheap, and then I would have to go back home. I want to travel to Costa Rica (I’ve been there before) or some Caribbean Island, but the problem is that even if I managed to find some sort of job, I’m not allowed to stay in Costa Rica for more than 3 months at a time, and I won’t be able to afford a ticket out of the country and then back again. I would have to go back to Sweden and be jobless and homeless after “selling everything and moving to Costa Rica to live the dream for two months. Roses and sunshine. ”, lol. Ugh. Furthermore, I don’t want to travel right now. I don’t want to do anything. Also, I know that only bad things could happen if I go travel, given the vibration that I’m currently holding. I have always felt like the universe is against me and that life is a hard struggle, where you have to struggle and fight for everything. Not really a yummy vibration to bring along on your first big trip as a solo female traveler, eh? It’s so hard to change that belief. When I was 3 years old, my baby brother died. He died at birth, so I never got to meet him, but my parents have told me that I went absolutely crazy after that happened. I was constantly angry, I wouldn’t let anybody touch me or come near me, especially not my dad, and I would run around looking for my brother, thinking that my parents had hid him somewhere. It got so bad that my parents tried to take me to see a “child psychologist”, but I refused to see him. I don’t have much memory from this, but I can see how that whole event probably lead up to the destructive beliefs I have about the world today. Anyhow, traveling seems very far off right now, and given the state that I’m currently in, it’s not something I am currently capable of doing. I need rest, and I need to try to survive, although most days I just want to die. The problem is, in today’s society, being sick or unwell is a luxury. Someone like me can’t afford to be sick, to not work. I know that I theoretically could move back home to my parents and live there, but it would kill me. I can’t stand my dad for even a day, and I can barely stand my mum either. It’s all good as long as we are joking and laughing together, but as soon as we start talking about anything even remotely serious, all hell breaks loose and I just want to run away and never have to see them again. Also, it’s not ok by my parents standard to be unwell. They keep telling me how this is not normal, how I need to get better and how me eating “rabbit food” (I’m vegan) is destroying my health, although I take better care of my health and my diet than I’ve ever seen them doing. My dad never ever understands me, he is so pessimistic, narrow-minded, stubborn and judgmental. Anytime I won’t apply for a promotion at work, he goes absolutely nuts and starts saying mean things. He used to tease me and bully me for working in a restaurant before. He is also super negative, always super stressed, complaining about how he has no time to do anything, and how he never has enough money. This is the kind of energy I grew up in, so…. Thanks Universe, *facepalm. So, you can see that living with my parents would be like living inside a torture chamber. They are very unconscious people, in my opinion, and even though I love them, I couldn’t do it. If I feel suicidal now, I can’t imagine how I would feel if I moved back home. So, it’s not an option. I guess I could keep working half-time at my current job and in my free time try to heal myself and take care of myself as best as I can. Otherwise, without a job, I would have to live on the street. I think I could do it (keep on working I mean), but the problem is, if I only work half time, all of my money would go to surviving (paying the rent, paying bills, buying food etc.) and I wouldn’t be able to save up money for travel. I know that travel can’t be a priority in my life right now, but it still breaks my heart to think that I will have to spend my time something I don’t want to do just to keep myself alive. Then I could just as well kill myself. Before, I always had my dream of travel to work towards, and I could find a purpose in doing something I hated, because I knew it would enable me to save up money for my dream, but if I only work half-time, I won’t even have that dream to work towards anymore. I know that I need to come into a space where I feel abundant and shit, but I can’t. I’ve been trying it, and when I have a good day, it works, but in the long run it never works. I haven’t yet come to a space where I fully believe I can be abundant. It’s easy to believe that I can be abundant when the sun is shining and I feel happy, but days like these I can’t feel anything but miserable. I’ve been trying to heal my issues around money but it takes time. I hate life. It’s so unfair, hard and horrible. I hate the universe. This has been a long rant, but I feel so desperate for connection and understanding, and I feel desperate to express myself. If any of you have taken the time to read this, I want to thank you. If you have experienced anything similar, if you’ve been depressed or “burnt out”, maybe you could share your story and your thoughts below? It would mean a lot to me to know that I’m not alone. Thank you. Lisette
  5. Hi everybody, I recently submitted this question to "Ask Teal", but I would lie to hear your view on it as well: How do I stop feeling so lonely, cut off and different from everybody else? How do I stop judging everybody I meet as someone who "is not like me", "not my type", "not spiritual/'overly' spiritual", "won't understand me" and "someone I'm not compatible with"? How can I start approaching the people I meet with genuine curiosity, love and a sense of "he/she is like me", instead of feeling afraid of people, putting up walls and being scared of opening myself up? Wherever I go, whether it's the supermarket, my job or any kind of social gatherings, I feel like I will never find someone whom I can have a deep, real, loving friendship with. I feel like I will never find my "tribe". I know this sounds awful, but it's like I have this belief whenever I'm around people that they are all "materialistic, unawakened, shallow, unaware, narrow-minded, meat-eating people who are not spiritually developed, not self-aware and who only care about getting drunk and getting laid on a Friday evening, or, if they are a bit deeper, starting a family, getting a house and making a career for themselves as a lawyer and working in the same office at the same job until the day they die (without ever having lived at all). Again, I know this sounds awful and super judgmental but I want to tell the truth about how I feel, I'm sure many of you can relate. Any advice is highly appreciated. Thanks a lot <3 Lisette