I have normalized "not being happy, not even being" meaning that it is very, very difficult for me to even listen to myself. Cause I would need to consider myself for that. So even if I'm in contact with my desires, it will be very hard to respect them, to embody them. I still haven't been able to achieve any of my dreams yet, for this reason. I'm not worth it as I do not exist as a individual, as a person.
My mother was a housewife and hell unhappy. And because all her education was about "having to" (achieve a good social rank by doing either Law school or Medecine school, be a housewi