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Everything posted by vatya

  1. vatya

    Las Vegas 2017 - Part 2/2

    "I feel like an attractive woman" which she absolutely is.
  2. vatya

    Las Vegas 2017 - Part 1/2

    I have been in Las Vegas and the US once and it was a few weeks after this! I guess it means I was almost ready :) I love that not washing dishes when you live by yourself can be a boundary. I’m wondering how to approach boundary conflicts within yourself, until you resolve the conflict? I’m guessing Teal probably has something about it, I’m just not realizing it applies. I realized a shadow relating to success while watching this. I have to succeed while handicapping myself because I believe people will discount my achievements otherwise, if they can leverage any reason to. And I really needed the last segment so much. I feel more seen than ever. Both my parents only have me and I am emotionally and physically exhausted. And I really want to be recognized. I have an aspect of myself who is always covered in dust and sand, I wonder if she is the part representing that exhaustion. She wears torn scraps of clothing and lies completely unmoving.
  3. Teal's energy feels so exceptionally constructive
  4. vatya

    Los Angeles Workshop 2016

    03:37:00 when Teal gets protective on behalf of his child aspects
  5. vatya

    Medicinal Plant Shampoo

    I like these nature updates
  6. vatya

    Online Workshop June 2014

    I thought this at first too, but if you think of the near- or farsightedness as the body's attempt to cure your unwillingness, this way makes sense.
  7. vatya

    Online Livestream (Jan 2016)

    Teal looks like she is in a really flow state in this video If you're sexualized by the wrong people there's a conflict about wanting attractiveness or not. When I've wanted to be more attractive it has more often been about avoiding feeling powerless and humiliated than wanting connection. I notice I'm less envious of beauty than of people who are allowed or able to own their beauty, or any other way of excelling. I think one of my core beliefs is that I won't have a place or a function unless it's less than. I have a deep-seated envy of people who are allowed to identify with good things and still stay connected, or allowed to love themselves or keep their dignity and stay connected. I remembered some memories as I was typing. I was thankful that I wasn't shamed for masturbating as a child, but then I remembered that it was showcased instead, when I was told to demonstrate to my aunt and didn't think I could say no. That part of me feels like my sexuality is humiliating. I'm going to do the completion process on these memories now.
  8. vatya

    Teal's Stress Relief

    @Stephanie Wintermute Just stumbled upon another short video mentioning not feeling allowed to have positive emotion and how to do CP on it, if you're interested. Amplifying Positivity with the Completion Process
  9. I have strong misophonia for my parents coughing, no one else, so the association explanation makes sense. "Your fatigue is your way of saying no" And oh, I'm so glad someone asked about how to do CP when you don't remember when you first felt the way you did.
  10. vatya

    Teal's Stress Relief

    Yes, go ahead, feel your happiness and you could text me or someone else if it gets blocked again. Glad you're out of the blame, that's a bad feeling vibration. I asked "what blindspot do other people have about me?" and the card was Your Goodness, as in they can't see their own goodness. Made me feel like a little devil. Ahh, I guess frequencies and vibrations are not the same thing! Thank you, happy holiday
  11. Lovely and helpful video and insights. In many situations I do feel like it would be self-betrayal to take on the other person's view. I've lived so many years in others' realities.
  12. Great meditation! Thank you. Usually I'm not good at deciding what to visualize, for example when I tried to create a cloud safe space I couldn't get rid of this giant hole in the cloud. But today my visualization created a beautiful large open river and riverbank landscape. Generally, I have a hard time keeping my eyes closed when meditating, almost like a compulsion. Going to do some meditation keeping my eyes closed for 30 minutes and see what kinds of resistance comes up before I continue. - - - I wondered if I keep opening my eyes so as to avoid going too far inwards, so when I felt the urge to blink, instead I made a loud clapping sound to direct my attention outwards again, and this relieved the urge to open my eyes. When I try to sink into the feeling instead of taking the attention to my sight or hearing, I notice I want to clench my muscles or do unnecessary movements. When I avoid these also, the feelings that arise are anxiety, powerlessness, doom, limbs going cold and bloodless, strong tension and a feeling like my lungs can't draw air in, that the air is grey and already used.
  13. vatya

    Teal's Stress Relief

    I'm happy for you! That's a pretty strong message Do the frequencies you get mean you are already on that frequency or that the frequency is what is the most needed?
  14. vatya

    Teal's Stress Relief

    I have used showering, exercising, falling asleep, and eating for stress relief in the past. Now if I'm angry stressed I clean and scrub the floor really hard ☺ Unrelated, I really recommend the new Blind Spot app - what a fun and not entirely soul crushing experience. There are several spreads you can choose like your blindspots about the past/present/future, or relative to giving and receiving love and self-love, or conflict, or emotional/physical/mental/spiritual needs, or relationships and so on. There is one where you can ask about any situation you choose, and a personal card of the day. I used the conflict spread for an internal conflict where it showed me what I was not seeing about myself (Judgement) and what the other aspect of me wasn't seeing about itself (Your Goodness). I get a few cards consistently, like Denying Death, to not let go of something that is no longer beneficial. I was also told my masculine side was Depleted. My favourite interesting card to get is Conversion, which means an emotional or mental change you made is making a physical change in your body. It's addictive. So I asked the deck "what am I not seeing about how I use these cards?" and received that I was using them to reinforce a negative pattern. Is there a possibility there could be a forum for premium users? Then we could discuss how we're using the Blind Spot app, and the videos and frequencies, and our progress and struggles in general.
  15. vatya

    Portland Workshop

    This was so amazing! Thank you!
  16. I wonder this as well. My takeaway from the master class was that I had heard the content before in her videos, but that it was tied together so that it better sunk in. Looking at the modules in the course some of them are youtube videos as well, even though they are probably richer. I'm most curious about modules 1, 3, 5, and 7
  17. vatya

    San Diego Workshop 2016

    Oh my god I'm the first guy's twin. I'm struggling to get support for being burnt out, but I hate owing people. I have so many flavours of receiving issues. The products I buy keep being broken in some way, mirroring my desire to be reimbursed. This also goes for emotional support. In childhood I was given to conditionally so much and had to pretend I was being given to while my actual needs were ignored, now it manifests in things arriving broken yet often my responsibility to fix, as if I'm still screaming to the world "this isn't what I paid for"!
  18. Could someone tell me the difference between the self love e-course and Shadows Before Dawn?
  19. vatya


    1 inch is a lot in facial proportions
  20. vatya


    @BeyondTheRim Interesting, thanks for sharing I have the first kind of forehead and can't be interested in a problem if I'm given the formula or recipe to do it. Finding the method is the fun part imo. Needing time to assimilate information - meaning you synthesize it with what else you know so you internalize it? Then there's nothing to remember. I might also be upper face dominant, though if it starts from the top of the head, won't everyone be? If it's from the hairline then I'm equal on all.
  21. vatya

    Online Workshop OCT 2019 - 1/2

    I'm wondering, won't AIs that are connected to the internet know that since we are one it's punishing itself if it punishes people? Edit: nvm I rewatched it now, I was falling asleep as I listened live. I have follow up questions. How do you know how you are treating material objects? By how your thoughts towards them feel? To what degree do they care about intactness? Can we not reshape anything and make clothes or houses or tools?
  22. vatya

    Halloween Explained

    @Stephanie Wintermute Haha, I will be looking for the most loving and gangster way to do everything. Much joy to you too!
  23. vatya


    Yes, the handwriting is supposed to reflect your current state and when you change, the writing reflects the new state. I've also been curious about physiognomy, but I didn't love the book I bought on it. Yours was a little expensive to me, is it really good?
  24. vatya

    Halloween Explained

    I saw this after first reading your comment. For some reason I held out on part 2, I would have thought it meant I was less enmatched to it if I hadn't manifested a nudge in the form of your comment... :') Congrats on the good work some of the most captivating parts of a person are in their villainous side don't forget.
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