I have to be completely honest, the hardest part for me has been the loneliness. I have this but no social accounts like facebook, minds or anything of that nature. So, it is hard for me to connect with anyone. The catch 22, on social media websites, government tracks everything. They get all your data. Privacy is that of a concern even just browsing the internet. Then there is that fear of what they will do to prevent this happening again. You can't go outside. It's as almost they have complete control in every aspect that is life. This might raise peoples' fear. They are making the only means of connection that we have to other humans, the internet in which they see all. You want to talk private, now you must do it on internet. That has been the hardest part also for me. I find even on internet people over look other people and their emotions.
The other part that is hard for me is when I do go outside. I see how much lack that people have for animals on earth. I see animals still getting hit by cars even though with little cars on the road....people don't have to speed, people don't have to hit them and there is plenty room for them to move out of their way. People seem to not care. This is causing me to feel depressed because I can't do anything about this.
The hardest part is feeling like you have lost complete control over everything. The moment you stand up and say, anything that is deemed negative, anything that questions misbehaviors, anything that you believe in that you feel in your heart, you get pushed down. You get hidden. You get shadowed. You get shut down so fast. What do you do? I am talking about the internet. This is why people can't express themselves, how they truly feel. It's not just the internet. It's life in general. Not only do you have to worry about higher powers doing it to you but you also have to worry about hackers. I've come to a place that I can't trust anyone. I never feel safe. I recovered my computer 20 times in the month of May. I still don't feel safe.
I finally got a sub on my channel. After i had deleted it 4 times. I was getting hidden. I finally fought and earned a spot that people are checking me out but the fear they will shut me down again, hide me again is overwhelming. I've suffered for a month and nobody knows that I have. That is the hardest part because we can't leave our houses. I have to stay where I am even though I'm just trying to get some type of connection with the world. If it wasn't for teal swan premium, I really would have no place to go. I made a website but I've only seen one other person there. Sorry for rambling. I think this is hard for all of us. I feel sad for all of us. I feel sad for the world. I probably need grounding, I'm not being a very good student. Teal has given me everything to fix this. Well that's fine because we all know, we are not perfect.
Love you teal. Thank you for being the best teacher.