H_Eart(h)

That sounds good....and supportive.

I am a little confused now.....take the SLC workshop place? The landscape I like is amazing. Do you have a picture of the kitty? Arches.....I remember correctly that it was depicted on one of the coins I found. So enjoy it wherever you find it or do it.

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After that incident my ears are blocked and I feel like inside my head. I do not really understand what you are saying.....but I do not know, if it is my ears or speed of your articulation.

The metal ring is set in motion and sounded by draught? I like the dolphin rider. I have a friend who get an interesting offer for spiritual encounter and a stay with dolphins, she is very excited about it. She plays the harp, which I always consider to the most fascinating musical instrument.

I also found two "fun/danger" stories with an almost similar topic, the train and swim in the water. I have a cousin (yes the same) with whom we have been doing various shenanigans as children. Occasionally we went to one of his friends who lived just behind the tracks at the big train station. They had a vegetables store and a right next to house a large warehouse. We took the crate and stacked it full of rotten potatoes and tomatoes. It was a big train station, but industrial, passenger trains did not stop there, they just ran through. We waited at the rails for the train to arrive, and then we started throwing the rotten vegetables at it. It was summer and a lot of people had their heads out the window, we tried to hit someone.....it was really fun then. Then we went to the warehouse, took the keys secretly and drove the warehouse with a forklift. Riding with it was not a problem, it was driving quite slowly, but we could not stop it. So we stopped by hitting his dad's car and making a huge hole in his door. Then we all escaped and I do not know how it ended up. Then I did not go there anymore, because the boy kept mocking me all the time for being fat. We have a pond behind the village in the woods and as children we used to go there often in the summer. My cousin was with us during the summer holidays, we were at the pond almost all day, our parents knew about it. Later in the afternoon, heavy rain and heavy thunderstorms blowing up, all the people left, but we stayed there. Thunderstorms were raging and lightning was flying, but we stayed in the water because suddenly it was much warmer. The storm did not stop and our parents were obviously worried about us, so my dad came to us on a bike. He scolded if we were going crazy to swim outside in a storm. We had to get out of the water and go home immediately. At home I still got a beating and I was banned from going out for a few days....I think anger and hatred at that moment were weak words.

Next chapter in the form of early experiences (with guilt for it, I have to live).....sorry, it is no longer for the public eye, I will send the password in the evening as a message on FB.

It started around a full moon last week, the main topic to muse on, was my relationship to sexuality. At various times of my life I was more or less addicted to physical pleasure.....sometimes a lot. But for the past few months it has been rather the opposite, I had the need once a month or even less. I often ask my subconscious mind to put everything what is in the shadows there "right in front of my face", which also happened this time. One day at night I woke up with an erection and a strong desire. I masturbated twice, but I still could not satisfy that desire. I know about my shadow in the form of suppressed sexuality and it is not new to me. But it is not only about desire or need, the problem is deeper and more extensive (and possibly older than from this life) because it is also somatized on the body in the form of a small penis. Another problem is that every orgasm means a big loss of energy for me, which I makes up for increased food intake and need for sleep. But this time it was different in that, I had the feeling that more energy could flow through me and that it could be a very effective way of working with energy (the universe knows how to lure me ). The need for extra sleep did not come, but I certainly ate much more food. But there are still other obstacles to overcome. Not only I grew up in a family where physical love was taboo, but taboo was even a kiss. Another barrier in my mind is the appearance of my body. I have a fixed idea that no one would want to touch my body, which is all covered with hair (in front of strangers, like on the beach or at the doctor, I am not ashamed but at home.....) and a cocktail that the body mixes just during sexual activity, contributes rapidly to it. Probably some disorder or imbalance at the hormonal level. This is apparently the most important thing to write about it in my case....little things like premature ejaculation is no longer worth mentioning.

I would also like to have a masculine meditation, but it looks like the password reminder feature on the eshop does not work. I tried it several times, but I did not get anything. I was thinking, but I had to be logged into the e-shop, I bought a big meditation pack last year.

I asked for a remind password to my e-shop account to get these two of your meditations.....I am looking forward to your silky voice.

After watching a part of the L.A. workshop, I went to my favourite place for dessert and coffee before regular going to Germany to buy groceries and pick up items from Ebay. I noticed that the daily menu also includes a vegan burger, so I decided to try and taste it. I was very pleasantly surprised by the taste, it was really delicious.....I would have eaten two burgers .....here it is late evening, maybe I am going to write some things what happened this week and what I realized about my sexuality.

The SLC workshop will also be recorded and will it be possible to watch it here at premium?

This week I had several times a strong feeling (in the sense of deja-vu) that I was doing the same things and saying the same words repeatedly.

Enjoy the radio interview and then watching the movies with Winter.

Your reaction made me think, and I thought about it all the way to the coffeehouse for lunch. I have a problem to do or manifest something more fundamental JUST to myself, probably I think too globally or generally. I am discomfiture because, on the one hand, I know that I am selfish in some things, and on the other hand, this trait is disgusting to me and it is so hard to say (apart from laziness, the possibility of the presence of pain, the fear of failure, the awkward of silence when others expect the opposite), I do not care about others, I want it because of me. I remembered such a little childhood story. I do not like wearing any accessories on my body outside of clothes like chains, bracelets, even a cap, sunglasses, umbrella or something. But it was not always so, I liked to wear a wrist wrapped with a thin stripe of leather as a kid. I went out once and my dad was talking to an older boy, he needed to borrow some tools, if I remember well. When he saw me, he praised my wrist which were wrapped around the skin several times. Then he asked if I could give him a piece of that leather stripe. I told him NOT. Dad was still there and told me to give him a piece that I had enough. I said no again and I started to get angry and say it is only mine. It was quite a passionate scene, but they "broke me" in the end and I unrolled the skin in disgust and my dad cutt off a piece of that skin against a stone verge post that stood by the road....I was not happy about it at all and I was narked at everyone. PS: I will probably continue to expose tonight.