H_Eart(h)

I also, but a few days only.....on my current staying is couple from Chicago, they wanted to change their lives and move here. I liked here, no street lamps, so I can watch the night sky full of stars. There is better weather for me, nice cold over the night and not so much humidity. Horse painting in my bed/room, the bridge over the highway, Whole foods market that I just visited, nice landscape view.....

My colleague from the job which I left is also going to NY. I thought on vacation, but the reason is different, she just told me that her husband had arranged it, she said he can get or acquired there what nowhere else. They will be there next week, so unfortunately the meeting with them will be not possible.....everything is changing.

Is not the same.....communication required ASKING and RESPONDING, both sides, and what when there is no space for one or the other?.....misunderstanding, unnecessary loss of confidence, etc.

Is a new date for another Curveball, unfortunately, officials will not give you next tourist permit to stay behind.

I think, some people talk about food and some about 6th dimension at the same time.....such a BS "communication"!

There is a word NEVER.....very bad taste! And if that is truth, then....NEVER.

How does this Angel cake taste, it is not too dry? I did not even mention chocolate, I take it for matter of course While I am here, I did not taste any chocolate other than this nuggets. On the first staying in Portland, it was a few pieces on the table in room. I was not looking for it, but once I saw it in one store in downtown....."bastard" knows what I like

I like cinnamon, I just eat up my last cereals with cinnamon. I use cereals when I do not want to deal with food, the energy from a full bowl will last me all day. Only grandma is baking at us.....in fact she does not bake anymore, she is 94 years old and can not handle it anymore. My favourite?.....maybe something with poppy.....but I like sweet generally.....maybe it sounds a little picky, but the most important is not what, but there must be a lot of filling. This is the reason why I do not like the local pizza style.....too thick dough. But sad is, that I did not understand a word of what Teal said she liked.

I think as tourist it is safe, maybe some rules, but it is very popular destination. My father recently went through his first holiday in his life and was with his girlfriend in Egypt, and he really appreciated it.

This "flow chart" I absolutely miss. But how to start with it, to detect and catch each emotion and then analyse when it still "little"? I miss the right "tool" to find concrete cause or root, because mostly I see more options or choises.....what is the best tool to find and validate the truth? And the next thing, when all the issues comes from childhood and I can not remember each moment of this time, how can I find it or trace it?

I can not say (and hope, it is not respond out of resistance mode) that I not feel emotions or empathy.....my inside voice tells me what kind of emotions should I express, but I do not do it, because I can not, I do not exactly how.....it is too deep and it will be suppress immediately by other part of me.

The first women on the stage reflects my situation too.....one of the participants in the Chicago workshop even told me, that if I were a doctor he would be able to turn to me with confidence. But I do not get that fully, why I am in resistance to compliments.......for not taking responsibility or what was said there?

That example with Gracielas laziness I not understand really. It is said that it is other people who see us mostly what we do not want to see. So how is it when people say that about Graciela while she comes to another conclusion that does not confirm it.....it is confusing.

Today I was not in the mood to go in the city, I decided visit one of the many parks in Chicago. This one was 4 miles away from my place, the weather was windy and cloudy....the autumn is really coming. Looks like the oak accompanies me everywhere, maybe is my spiritual tree? I like oaks, they looks ponderously and clumsily, have a thick coarse and rough bark, but the wood is warming (and I do not mean in the stove) and the adult trunk is very stable. The atmosphere in the park was soothing, hearty and saturate me with some kind of energy. All that was maintained was the roads, otherwise everything was left to the laws of mother nature. I saw a few animals there, one for the first time in my life. He was apparently a rodent, a small animal, crouched behind a stump and stared at me, had a rusty fur coat with a black stripe, it was so cute. On the way back I came across this building.....it looks little bit like a golden phallus. I was thinking a lot while walking through the park, I am not sure at all, maybe Teal could one day tell us more. I understand when I go trough the darkness in me to the light, the darkness respond and resist with more power and much more sophisticated. But the darkness can not defy endlessly and more light means stronger "tool". But what is about the "law" (or just BS human concept?) of balance? It is truth, that each act of love, each ray of light produce or generate darkness or evil elswhere as compensation? I do not like it, it is sad.....and the whole effort will be useless and nonsense, if it is so organized in universe. Because I would constantly hurt someone and myself also in the end.....it is so sad.

WOW!.....look at the pictures in More Teal - Gallery, I think, there are some, which are not published on Facebook.....THANK YOU! Teal, if there was a chance to get a desk calendar 2020, each week with another Teal picture and quote....it will be amazing!