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About Samasta

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  1. Can't seem to get over an addiction. I'm 19. I don't even know how I'm feeling. I tried to stop the habit, but I just can't seem to. It's gotten to the point where I feel like I don't even know for sure if I want to stop. Every time I try, I get as far as a week not more, before relapsing. I've gone as far as a month but then stuff happened. I've realized one thing and that is prior to the action (of addiction) I totally forget that I'm trying to stop or I ignore it cause the urge is far too greater than the voice in my head telling me that I shouldn't do it. It's been over a year that I've tried to stop. At the beginning, I tried watching Teal's video regarding Addiction, and I thought I'd be able to stop but then I failed. I've watched it over and over again. I don't even know, I feel so bleak. Other times, I get so motivated to stop and feel like I will be able to maybe this time, I feel like maybe this time I will, but no. Every time I feel like this is it, this is the last time, I'm getting over it. Every time. It's been over a year that I've tried to stop.
  2. Sometimes, I just want to disappear. I just want to be forgotten. Cease to exist. Erased out of everyone's memory like I never really existed. Like I never really existed.
  3. makes me feel stupid when I don't understnad what has actually been written in some parts of the blog. Maybe because im young or just stupid overall
  4. I'm speechless.
  5. I was thinking about these things earlier today, and now I'm reading this blog. You're one of my angels aren't you?