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ddwanaka

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About ddwanaka

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  1. ddwanaka

    Overwhelmed

    Suffering is caused by our resistance to the emotion being presented within our current experience...therefore clinging on to hope is the ultimate in resisting what is. This also means that claiming the I AM of hopelessness is one of the most liberating experiences imaginable...where the universe stops projecting realities that force us to feel hopeless and the manifestation of certain desires begin to rush forward. So if you want to experience torture...cling on to hope whilst witnessing catastrophe after catastrophe play out in your life. If you want to be free...claim the I AM of hopelessness the next moment it arises and watch the world around you begin to change. You are hopeless...because you are all that is and ever will be.
  2. ddwanaka

    Teal's Resistance

    When people are resistant to my truth I don't want them to drop it as there is a part of them (for valid reason) that needs to be recognised rather than pressured to change. We can't integrate opposing aspects without reconciling them and we can only reconcile them through revelating a currently hidden truth. I try to seek expansion inward instead of forcing integration these days, by sinking beneath my emotions and claiming the I AM of the feeling until I reach the most inwardly expansive state...e.g. feeling insignifficant expands inward until you reach the void....feeling confused expands inward until to reach chaos/the primevil substance etc. Here's an example of being resistant to other peoples resistance from my own experience: When another persons truth used to invalidate my own truth back when I had resistance to BEING invalid, I would often reject that truth which would manifest itself as irrational stubbornness. Ive since discovered that many people's resistance is experienced by them as invalidation of their truth. This experience of being invalidated is actually just an invitation to sink beneath it and allow the experience "I AM Invalid." Continued sinking beneath will eventually lead to I dont matter...I am of no matter...I am immaterial...I am no-thing...I am nothing...I am void...and that's the end of the line. Much easier than forcing integration in my opinion. Bye now!
  3. ddwanaka

    Proud

    That's a wonderful trait. I'm proud of my ability to create a safe space for people to be themselves.
  4. ddwanaka

    Guaranteed Happiness

    If I was made to swallow the pill against my will I could make peace with the fact that inwardly I have the desire to be pill free, but that desire is currently blocked from manifestation. Kind of like wanting it to be winter all year round. I am currently unable to manifest this desire although I have been aware of the desire in the past (bar consideration of the consequences). So my truth in this new reality is one within which I have no (known) choice but to be happy every day until the moment I become aware of a new choice available to me that I may or may not choose to take when it presents itself. Like if I became aware of a choice I could make for it to be winter all year round...I may or may not take it depending on the perceived consequences in that moment...but until that moment arrives I know I am free...and will continue to be regardless of my decision. We are always free when we consider the only choices we can make are the ones available in each moment and we can only imprison and oppress ourselves by denying/rejecting an aspect of our current truth/reality. That's not to say we will always or ever be satisfied with the truth of our current reality...but we are nonetheless always free.
  5. The thing that will do your noodle in completely is recognising "The Mother's" (spirit/soul) desire to make her own choices is what manifested a free-will universe. Back in the day when the thought arose in the mind of "The Father" (mind/consciousness) to "Annihilate" humankind due to his own shame and self hatred (we are just a mirror for him) she wanted to be "Independent" and make her own choices (having her own will free of "The Father"). In order to achieve this she withholds her love (revelation of desires/vulnerabilities/feelings) from "The Father" and "The Son" (manifested reality/particle/wave/body) which is experienced (but seldom acknowledged) by both as rejection, abandonment and maleficence. For "The Mother" the withholding of love serves 4 main purposes: To feel safe (from being annihilated) To negate the pain of lost love (from another annihilation) To punish the Father for annihilating her children and being powerless to stop it (withholding love from "the son" achieves this) This was experienced by her as the ultimate betrayal and broke trust (seemingly) indefinitely To ultimately "be equal" to and independent of "The Father" So here you have the single greatest issue facing the well-being of humankind and in fact the entire universe...the withholding of divine feminine love due mainly to lack of trust in divine masculine intent as well as a spattering of vengeance for the original betrayal. Needless to say the collective feminine essence feels extremely insignificant due to (seemingly) having zero input into what she births into reality...therefore her desire to be "independent" and "equal" to the masculine is an inherent pattern as old as time itself. The solution for us? The divine feminine will only surrender her desires/vulnerabilities/feelings once she "trusts" that she will not "suffer loss" and is guaranteed "safety". As well as this she may need to reconcile the part of herself that wants to punish or minimise the masculine/men. Interestingly the collective masculine sees women as extraordinarily powerful and significant...hence why he often feels threatened by powerful women and presents with similar (diminishing) energy towards the feminine to minimise the (perceived) threat. There is a withholding of divine masculine love as well that occurs due to vengeance against the divine feminine for withholding her love from the son. (The Son punished for the sins of the Father.) This manifests as the masculine sabotaging manifestation (refusing to carry a repressed desire to "full term"...and often "annihilating" it before it is birthed...sound familiar?). So here we have the perpetual loop of both polarities withholding love simply for the sake of vengeance. I haven't unearthed the revelation that leads to the feminine and masculine forgiving each other yet but I feel this is very close to the kernel. Once I reconcile them within myself I will share the experience as I think it will be an absolute game-changer.
  6. Source is one mind (consciousness) and the first ever manifestation was spirit which is the womb of reality. The thought "what am I" when it arose from this mind was the seed that gestated in the womb (spirit) which subsequently birthed (manifested) the first son (black holes birth sons). As such everything in reality is made from the light of a son (wave and particle) but also has a mind (consciousness) and a spirit (soul). This is the origin of mind body and soul. In truth the spirit and the mind are simply the vehicles for the mind (observer) to increase its state of awareness (consciousness) therefore the current reality is a projection of the state of awareness of the source mind in this exact moment. So whilst it (source) is all seeing it is anything but all knowing...as it only knows what it has experienced of itself thus far...and as you can see by the state of us (humanity) it has a fair way to go!
  7. ddwanaka

    Acceptance Challenge

    The pressure upon our liberty will magnify our desire for it...then something new can/will emerge to fulfill that desire.
  8. I'm not prepared to give up any freedom whatsoever in return for connection or safety. Safety isn't given to us by someone else...it's a feeling that arises once we have integrated our fear of death and connection doesn't take place when we are with people...connection just is. The truth is that most people sever connection when they are with people physically. The safety, connection and freedom we want is within us...and its abundant so we don't need to sacrifice one for another.
  9. ddwanaka

    Interdependence

    Brilliant...thanks Teal
  10. ddwanaka

    Self Sabotage

    Thanks Teal
  11. ddwanaka

    "Scary" Stories

    I loved that!
  12. ddwanaka

    Worst Date Ever

    When I was a teenager I went on a date with a girl and I was utterly clueless about sex and everything that comes with it. We ended up making out at "the view" which is where we all went to snog. That part was fine, but I went to a catholic school and the next day I wrote her a love letter saying that I was convinced the holy spirit was present that night and brought us together (she was not religious). The next day one of her friends gave me the most devastating break up letter ever. Needless to say I dialled down the spiritual stuff a few notches from that moment on. Ironically the next girl I went on a date with became my girlfriend...I could have told her Satan brought us together and she would have still been keen. Looking back on the "holy spirit" moment now I still wince. I have a feeling there's a wounded aspect wreaking havoc at some level as I'm still cagey about my spiritual (not Catholic) side...as in my mind she rejected me because I was spiritual. Trust a seemingly benign post from Teal to still be teaching me life lessons!
  13. I can't imagine how intense that must be Teal. Being in that situation would terrify the crap out of me. I'm confronted with something similar right now albeit on a much smaller and less public scale. It was only yesterday I realised I hadn't properly claimed my authority in relation to my areas of expertise work wise and I recognised a pattern of deferring to other experts when it came to personal truths I had no evidence for...even witholding information due to a lack of external evidence at times. I thought I knew what claiming my authority meant...turns out it takes an insane amount of courage and self trust...and still very much a work in progress. Hope you find some clarity and peace!
  14. ddwanaka

    Intentional Community

    I don't quite follow...what is the mission of your particular community?
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