I just searched in your blog articles to read this blog again and feel a little bit understood. I wish to come this month to America for the completion process training. And I wish next month to do a singing retreat. But I'm a mother.
My husband leaves tomorrow for 5 days to do a retreat. I just started to cry when she got awake after her afternoonsleep because I fell asleep sleep with her, so it meant when she got awake that I didn't had cooked already and didn't took time for me.
I want to find out what my purpose is here in life. It's pretty clear that even if I love my child undiscribely much, that household and being a mum is not my life purpose. Even if I have a husband who really helps. We still live in this society where also he grew up in, so next to understanding he also doesn't really understand what I feel.
I cannot just do what I want and see my child cry and scream mommy I need you. It hurts me too when I would do it. I need 3 copies of me who help me taking care af my kid. Or I really just need another caretaker of my kids where she feels as safe with as with me.
This immense struggle is so difficult. If my hormones starts to think about a second child. It's the complete tiredness that makes me clear that the only way possible for a second child is in a community.
Thank you teal!
I share your big wish. And am so happy you wrote about this!