This is heartbreaking. This is heartbreaking.
Teal, has anyone told you how much you mean to us? To me you are my knight in shining armor. Thank you. You saved me. You saved me. And, dear virtual friend --- I know virtual --- there is just not enough to say about how incredible you are! From a woman that is almost old enough to be a young aunt to you, I want you to know how amazing you are. Amazing doesn't even come a nanometer close to what you mean to me (personally). I recall when my auntie was in the flow mode how much I felt loved and that is how much you mean to me. Thank you, young lady. Look at how encouraging you were. The connection with this girl. I had a friend like that. Her name was Sylvia Fuller. I know she had much sadness in her life yet she let me in. She let me in and loved me. Despite how scared I made her with my childhood pains and subsequent strange behavior, she never gave up on me. She was my first experience of a woman who cared, truly cared for me. I let go with her and never anyone again. I hugged her all the time. She was my lovely, gorgeous friend. You remind me of her. I miss her a great deal. Our last conversation broke me so I have not contacted her since. We hadn't seen each other for over 10 years and I couldn't believe how in that amount of time life had changed her. It changed everything about her. That connection was lost and all she could see in me was her shadow. I ask myself, why don't you want to connect with others? Because over and over again I was hurt. Over and fucking over again.
So listen, Teal, I have a thousand things to say and no words to communicate them to you. Oh, I will though. You be my biggest, most wonderful shadow and yes, we will meet. In some dream somewhere, some astral universe. We will meet. I will see you in my deep eye and I will thank you with all my heart. Open the flood gates of love for you, my dear. You, the daughter I always wanted. The daughter, get this, that I always was. You have helped me open up to others again. Thank you.
I know you will read this and I plan on writing so much more. More to come, Teal. More to come.