Millie

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About Millie

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  1. No, she has no right to prevent you from marrying someone else...unless you give her that right. You are an adult and making an adult decision. A very personal one.
  2. Interesting thought about my father. To be honest, there is something about him that feels fatherly. My father passed when I was 2 years old. I wish there were a way to make me stop ruminating about my choices. I think it will just take time for me. I am still letting go of the past love. And I feel so regretful not just to have lost him but to have hurt him so much. Sometimes I look forward to being an old woman so that all of this is water under the bridge. It has been so painful (this trauma has been ongoing since 2014). Thank you, Mai-da, for offering me a positive or at least somewhat accepting perspective. I feel like I just need encouragement.
  3. Hoping this won't be a 50 views 0 replies thing.
  4. Choosing your partner I'm not really sure what my question is and I'm not really sure what I hope someone could say to make me feel better. About one year ago I posted on this same topic, I have progressed maybe a little. However, I have my regrets that I am trying to move past. The scenario is, I had two loves that I had to choose between (long story). I had the romantic option and the deep serious option. In the end, I said goodbye to the romantic option. There are many many days that I have regrets about it, and I ask myself "why couldn't I have enjoyed myself, let go, enjoy a romance" that would have lasted perhaps a decade or maybe two. I never saw myself growing old with him and so I tried to make the "responsible" decision to leave him. I am mad at myself for not allowing myself to enjoy him. Now I am with the serious one, the deep one. I care for him and he tries to be good to me. But sometimes I wonder if we are truly as compatible as I thought. We don't live together but have in the past and his messiness annoyed me and to be honest I think he is lazy, this annoys me too. We do have a special connection. I'm just not sure we will work out, yet strangely I always saw myself growing old with him. It is a conflict of living in the now. Ironically, I chose the person I envisioned in my future, and now here I am trying to live in the now...and questioning my choices. I just don't know. And I am exhausted form it all. Just looking for your observations on this, no specific question.
  5. I am a doctor of osteopathic medicine (D.O.) and so can answer this question well. A chiropractor is an option but you must be careful with this - no cracking! No forceful techniques! Only gentle ones. I would recommend you go to a D.O. instead of a chiropractor because D.O.s are medical doctors who had the four years of medical school and are trained in lots of gentle hands on treatments. However, the true answer to your question would depend upon your symptoms. How long have you had these symptoms? Any leg weakness or numbness? Any numbness of perineum? Any gait issues? Have you had back imaging, like xray or MRI? Lots of herniated discs improve spontaneously within 4 weeks. Thus, only symptomatic care with ibuprofen/tylenol/stretching is really recommended during this time. If symptoms do not improve, you do need to see a doctor. Most studies comparing surgery and nonsurgical care have included patients with at least six weeks of symptoms. In these studies, patients who undergo discectomy have a more favorable outcome than nonsurgically treated patients at short-term follow-up, but outcomes are equivalent at one to two years. If you are overweight I would recommend weight loss. Also daily core strengthening exercises would be good - but avoid positions that cause increased pain. Physical therapy is also an option.
  6. @Vania It is both exciting and relieving while at the same time frightening and even somewhat comical that there could be a third person.
  7. @Crystal Rob I deeply appreciate your words of wisdom. I will let them sink in and reflect. Thanks so much for taking the time to comment.
  8. @Odetta Just asking for a private message from you regarding this. Thank you
  9. I'll say this too. My father died of a heart attack when I was 22mo old. Maybe I am trying to actualy repair that abandonment. And I know my mother was emotionally devastated such that she was also unavailable to me. Perhaps I should do the completion process.
  10. @JayKerala Thanks for your response. I like your ideas. I think your option is the purest way. I hope I can be truthful in a delicate way. @Garnet It feels like I have to think about it so much because I feel pressured to even make a choice. I would rather not have to make a choice and simply BE. Like you said earlier, it's like choosing between friends. The truth is, there is no choice. It's both of them. And that's my truth. Teal has a really interesting video on youtube called "Is Love Enough" and it talks about choosing a love through the subconscious versus the conscious. And for long term sake, no, love isn't enough. Or at least what some people's idea of love is. Sometimes we are attracted to each other via some aspect of ourselves that we have supressed that our partner is expressing and we can kind of live that aspect out vicariously. On the other hand, sometimes we fall in love via our conscious decisions on things like compatibility, etc. I have often wondered if the two men fall neatly into these categories. I would say that if I really had to push them into these categories, the deep one would be a bit more subconscious and the sweet one more conscious. But the deep one is also more subconscious, I think, because he actually is able to access that part of me - not just because he may represent an aspect I have supressed. In other words, I feel that he is able to access my whole self. Like he knows me and understands me more deeply than the other. It's quite interesting. Sometimes when I am with the sweet one, I feel as if part of me is secret and mysterious to him. That used to bother me. I am not sure it does so much anymore. You see, that deeper part of me is sacred to me. And so long as I find my own way to honor and express it, I don't think I need my partner to access it. I think I am drawn to the deep one because he can access it.
  11. So, with the deep one...I do feel I have to kind of look past some things. We lived together once and his messiness frustrated me. He didn't cook/clean as much as I would have appreciated. He used to not have a job for a long time but within the past year or two he has become very successful with an internet business. So it was the practical things about him that frustrated me. If we wanted to plan a trip or something, I felt that I always had to do the legwork. But I love him in that I care for his wellbeing and happiness. Like Teal say's about trust, I capitalize on his best interests. However, obviously sometimes our needs conflict. Right now I have a need for freedom and his need is my consistency. He wants to be able to rely on me. I can't give him that right now because I am more committed to freedom than I am to an enduring relationship with him. With the sweet one, I just look past our somewhat simple relationship. I mean, I have to wonder about our growth potential. I feel like it may be one of those relationships that will be beautiful for about a decade and then we may drift apart. I dunno. I just don't know.
  12. HAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!! This killed me. Thanks for the laugh!!!!!!! Hi Vala. Thanks for your response. Hmm...well, it seems I satisfy both of their needs, except that they would prefer I am simply committed to one of them. As far as my own needs, I wish I could somehow combine them into one man. They are quite the polar opposite. Some of you manifesters may say to me "wait for the right one, then" but I think I could be pretty content with one and meet my other needs outside of that relationship. For example, with the sweet one, I could satisfy my depth by reading, writing, meditating. I love all these perspectives. Thanks so much for all of your input.
  13. Thank you for your input. I am familiar with this allegory. I have put my perspective into the mother and the baby. I identify a little more with the baby. If we go with that perspective, I feel that the sweet one would more likely be the one to let me go for my own peace. The deep one does want my happiness but defends his own a little more selfishly. Now, if I were one of the mother's, I would then say that the two men are the baby. I have broken up with each of them and am now 'single' in hopes of sparing them any additional pain, or tying them up with me when they could be finding a monogamous woman. But I have not been able to quite let them go yet. As of now they seem alright. I really don't know the answer.
  14. True! So um...I have decided not to really choose and just be true to where I am at right now. So I think I'll see both of them occasionally but always let them know that I won't commit to an exclusive relationship at this point. Maybe things will fall into place without me having to choose. (btw, I live alone and about 1.5 hr from one and 1 hr from the other, so this should work out okay) Ha! This made me laugh. Thanks for your very pleasant outlook. Ah geez, Here goes nothing.. Also, if anyone wants to play a fun game (for me at least), see if you can pick from the photos which one is the "sweet" one and which one is the "deep" one...
  15. Well I like that this topic is quickly becoming a 'let's get to know each other' conversation. George, would you mind telling us what the open marriage was like? Did it work? Would you prefer it or not? Hi @RaresJucan. Welcome! With the intention to connect with others I think it can become your reality.