Millie

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About Millie

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  1. Millie

    I sooo relate to this. I often struggle with opening up but not opening up too much so as to put the person off. It often feels as though I just haven't found my niche of friends, because my ideal friends would never be put off by me being too open. And so it is incredibly disappointing that these types of people are so hard to find. It feels that everyone is either superficial or scared of themselves/me. I have kind of given up and retreated into myself. It is hard to open up to people constantly and to be turned down constantly. So I would rather just feel safe in my boundaries...I wouldn't say I've put walls up though. Because if I ever sense someone is willing to be open then I will go there with them in a heartbeat. I just wait until I sense that...and the opportunity is rare.
  2. that's hard and I'm sorry this happened to you. I think you know the answer to the question - it will take time, firstly. Secondly, you need to do things according to your calling. Now you have some extra time on your hands - use it to hone a skill you enjoy or learn a new hobby. Get lost in yourself.
  3. I just had reiki too. My practitioner told me the right side of body is masculine and is about forward action. So it probably has something to do with that. But your reiki healer should be able to tell you. Did you ask him/her?
  4. This is confusing for me. Partly in the way the author describes it. He describes feeling a sense of control for letting go of his expectations (missing the train) but yet gaining control by making sure what he does are HIS decisions. He is trying to say we can control what we do, yet making a point to not run for trains...so then he would be vulnerable to the chaos of catching the next train- he just seems too controlling to me. It’s not sitting well with me. Personally I think it’s important to steer our boat in the direction we want but then if a wave comes we have to let it take us somewhere else, then we try to steer again once the wave passes. Maybe this is what he meant, just worded strangely.
  5. @MistaRender The trophy symbol was because I chose to click “thanks” (the trophy) for Garnet’s comment instead of clicking “like” which has the heart symbol. I chose it, there was no they.
  6. @Garnet Thanks for your response. Good questions! I am a wiser person, yes. I do still feel love and realize how much of it I have to give and that I want to give it to someone very badly. I just feel so much remorse for messing things up with a guy I could have been very happy with. So it feels like a waste of an opportunity. I wish I could turn back time, truly. This leaves me with a residue of feeling bad about myself. But once I do truly heal from this I will be very well prepared to give someone my all. I just wish it could have been him.
  7. This is helpful and a good excuse for me to relax and forget about my troubles. The tricky thing in my situation is that I feel terrible for the pain I’ve caused someone and want to make peace with him. He also held the thing I wanted so badly, which was a loving committed relationship. So in the same guy I hold two separate issues: that of making peace with him and that of wanting a love like we had before. So perhaps I could briefly envision peace with him, then let that go. Then envision the love I want- with the caveat that it doesn’t have to be HIM per se (this may be challenging) and then let that go. I will do my best to relax and feel better. I’ve been beating myself up lately though so this will be a challenge. Maybe allowing myself to trust in the universe will allow me to relax. But deep down I am very sad. Thank you for your response. Very wise indeed.
  8. can we really attract what we want...taking a poll I have found myself in a period of complete loss and therefore eventual transition into hopefully attracting something I deeply need and want. I'd like to believe in the law of attraction. I'm worried I already attracted what I deeply want but I messed it up and lost it. It is gone now, beyond repair. And so...wondering if you all have opinions on the law of attraction and if it is true based on your experience...
  9. Millie

    What if the woman then later broke his trust? That almost seems even worse....to have built trust and then to have destroyed that same trust. How can you then trust to trust? It's so sad.
  10. Millie

    Your post means a lot to me. I relate to it in many ways. It's hard to know where to start with what to say. I am just going to private message you actually.
  11. Millie

    Do you have access to those emotions within yourself? The emotion you were sensing from others, have you felt them emanating from yourself at some point in your life? Seems like the issue is relating to them/with yourself. Can you be emotional?
  12. I identfy with everything you said. I truly do feel the same way. For me, I remember the moment my severe social anxiety started - I was 18 and working as a waitress at pizza hut. The feeling of needing approval from others so I could get a decent tip sparked a fear in me that I was never able to turn off - the fear of them seeing my fear of them - of them finding out that I am insecure and need their approval. I then became afraid of my own fear - it became my enemy and something I was ashamed of. This was a vicous cycle. I am now 34. I still have social anxiety but it has diminished. Much like you, it feels self loving to try to control my environment some, however it is strangely exhausting to always have this control. And like you, every once in a while I get caught off gaurd and I feel anxiety and then immediately feel afraid of it - afraid the other person will see it - and this compounds it. So I become ashamed of not handling it well because I know they've sensed it - and the worst part is making THEM feel uncomfortable. And then I feel rejected. So I relate completely. However, it has gotten better. I used to be on paxil and came off of it one year ago. I am fine off of it and don't need it anymore. To some degree I have accepted my shame. It still disappoints me but it is more part of me now and less of something I fight against. Hope this helps.
  13. I think someone basically already said this, but my thought is that your soul contracts are promises that you will meet and then what happens after you meet is up to the law of attraction. We have free will so we can always choose what type of relationship to have with someone even if that means no relationship. Teal has a video on free will that should address some of this. Interesting question.
  14. I think passion is important in the beginning. It is the attraction that keeps people together long enough to get to know each other and start caring for the other. Hopefully passion will last for a nice long time, and maybe come and go through the relationship. But in a long term, successful relationship something else begins to grow - a comfort, trust, companionship that becomes very important. And then this is your soft bed to land on between each other, instead of just the passion. The important part is the bond that grows. Resolving disputes. Having them but resolving them so that you learn trust. Also, whatever you are attracted to would be right for you, theoretically - because your attraction is there for a reason. It just depends on what you want in life. Your attraction can be led by your subconscious and end up learning a lot about yourself, or you can write down a list of must haves and meditate on the feeling of the person you want, how he/she would feel to you, then let it go and maybe you will manifest it. This would be being led more by your conscious.
  15. @MistaRenderHmmm interesting. Why what's in it for the person behind the Bot? Maybe I am missing something about bots.