magneto24

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  1. magneto24

    @Luiza Your honesty is attractive but your self awareness feels like it comes from a place of comparing yourself. Which is ok if that is true. Just something to come away from. I see girls with this specific issue and I keep thinking of how every Victoria Secret model has A cups and still gets treated like a sex symbol(objectification aside just a perspective). There are things that can be done to deal with anxiety, shrooms (micro-dosing, weed, physical exhaustion through exercise etc) Personally I have experienced that feeling better first,inside my own skin gives me access to more internal resources and avenues of creativity toward finding a solution to any thing. Why would it be valuable to feel like one does not matter? why would I go my entire life feeling like I am better of being unseen furniture in every social interaction well past my 20's? Digging for shadows in the areas of our lives that we experience voids. For me its being the centre of attention that I had to bulldoze myself into as a kid when I had to give classroom speeches. I can still hear myself stuttering (at number 69 going to 70) when I had to stand on my chair and count to 100 at age 4 attending pre school because of my oedipus mother archetype. Safe to say I can relate and have some techniques we can discuss for getting into improved states of mind If You want them.
  2. magneto24

    Your 23 wanting the experience of walking in all that you think of as the divine feminine. Its ok to not feel as girly as you want to yet. Naked quiet confidence, humble high self esteem, Vulnerable beauty, body positive thoughts, painting with your period blood, being a sexually comfortable person, feeling like a sexual being, all these things happen over time. If you are comparing yourself to where someone is else is within themselves. You will not notice your own progress as much as you will only notice where you are not yet. The voice in your head that makes you feel silly for playing dress up, firstly when you started playing dress up as a kid and now when you do your hair and feel like a child. Something a teacher said to me that Teal restated was being frozen at a certain age in our childhood due to a traumatic experience. My favorite part of this is that we have become so desensitized to what is traumatizing that we over look experiences for years. Have you ever tried to turn the pitch of that voice in your head up until it sounds like its sucked on a helium balloon and trying tell you the same thing? If your inner child looks over its shoulder at you one day from its inner sanctuary and tells you its ok to feel cute now. Just because you spent time with it for the sake of spending time with it inside that safe comfy sanctuary. There is no need to try and make yourself feel something that you do not feel. Until it happens. A lot of the time with energy medicine your not the one who notices the shift first.
  3. You feeling better is a positive. Buying the book is a step in the right direction for your self. Speaking about your experience helps you and others like myself who read this story re-membering that all of the effort to present your most authentic self to the world does not give one an ounce of control over the actions of those we interact with. We can only control our response to what happens to us The sheer volume of collisions I believe are happening for the sensitive or awakening folks RN. Being forced to experience our worst fears. As close to near death experiences as we can feel without a NDE. For me it was getting the girl I had wanted for a long time and learning how and why I created my boundries and personal rules for how I treat those who will try and harm me, once I realised why she was not the one. I offer you my soul fragment retrievel services and other distance energy healing help you may want. Free of charge. Time spent with your inner child inside the sanctuary Teal teaches you to create would yield adequate results without my help. Being around people is also something counter intuitive when feeling abandoned, that has helped.
  4. magneto24

    @universoul @greenbirch @ste92k @Scot @Shlamut I have become isolated in the sense that I did this to myself at least that is how I comfort myself. Currently building my own sensory deprivation chamber to further explore my inner child work etc. Reading some of the posts at this forum and I physically feel the polarities showing up here and its synchronicity manifest IMHO. Psilacybin (I do not feel like I need to keep the correct spelling of big words like that in my head anymore), psychology, leaving my relationship with sugar Is a target, online multiplayer games, body weight training, dealing with trauma, NLP, empathing my way through the feelings being processed in my body and honoring them more now that teals made me aware of my self abandonment and bulldozing. Connect with me platonic friendship has a fair amount of intimacy involved when one is in a conscious direction or correct me if I am wrong? I am still working up the energy to do the Wim Hof breathing method consistently for 30 days Lets chat
  5. magneto24

    You would have to orient yourself towards something... What goal would justify the suffering of your life? start trying to piece that together its a personal process. If the internal reality is a mirror of the external reality start with the immediate surroundings. Do you make your own bed? Is your room neat(an externalization of your mind)? do you clean your own room(are you waiting for somebody to do the awakening of your masculine for you)? do you know how to wash your own clothing? Do you know how to cook your own food? how much of your diet do you control? all of these things don't have to apply to you exactly, just another perspective. I ask these simple questions in light of how much responsibility for meeting your own basic needs do you take ownership of on a daily basis? Stop saying things that violate your own conscience. Pay attention to the things you say and do that make you feel weak, stop that. Once you have aims/goals you have moral obligations. How committed are you to the pursuit of improving .01 percent everyday in the direction of something so important to you that people will line up to see how enthusiastic you are about getting better at your passion. The moral obligation is how you achieve your aim. If you have no aim you're aimless. Sitting waiting for life to happen to you. Active vs Passive Receptive VS Adamant that the thing you want is what you are going after with everything you have. ( This is what I am currently working on within myself as well)