I’m the same. I have enmeshment trauma as well, so I’m working on boundaries, autonomy, and developing a sense of self. But I also feel needy for my partner at times (especially when I start to feel depressed). I assume that the reason I am this way was because I think my mom only showed me love when I wasn’t feeling good. When I’m elated, I like to be alone, away from my partner. Working on that as well. So yeah, disorganized attachment. Feels less lonely to know I’m not the only one.