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About Mai-da

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  • Birthday 08/05/1989

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  1. This is exactly what happens when you wake up. Conflicts, inner conflicts because people are so codependent around, and you can' t be inauthentic anymore. I would say, you will havè to risk it. Waking up is also about taking risks, because you will never be sure. Also, that's the flaw of today's society and system. That's what is fucked up, you can like your job, but then you have to apparently "sacrifice" other parts of yourself. That's why we don't work enlightened people haha, but it's true, because when you start integrating, you understand how much people around you are in lack, and they don't even know what freedom is... And you think you should conform, or be able to, but something inside of you wants to feel free... You will have to risk it, what I would say *
  2. Just that it's not punishment , you don't have to call it that way. But i see your point, maybe you try to manipulate with people's minds by saying hey, thats a punishment you know... so you soothe their "want" to revenge... This and that. But anyway that's again not being clear with people on the real issue behind people's acts... Good observation on the rest and, agree 🙏
  3. No. You dont have to have close relationships with members of your biological family. By close i mean someone who could understand you, so there doesn't have to be relatives that are your soul family, which means you share the same purpose in this life, and all that. To me.
  4. That's ok. Try to resolve the emotions that come up. It's ok.
  5. How is it that you cant access your own shadows? even the resistance to it, it's a shadow aspect, for example. How is it? What do you feel?
  6. 8Still haven't watched this video, but I guess it has the answer or some I like him a lot
  7. honestly this is funny to me, because first of all, if it is HE, and you see it as separate from you, than it means it is an entity you have attracted and that you are possessed. However, i dont think this is the case with you. Is it a male version of you the reason why you call it a he? i'm sorry you sound(ed) like a girl to me, it's funny to me because even if it tried to kill the girl, the vulnerable part, can it really? this work is not real life, if i were you, i would let it express its rage, and see what happens. we dont need too much kindness, we need awareness, at least that is how I operate. kindness is part of awareness, but if you have that loads of rage, what you need is observation, no judgment, not trying to fix anything, but because you are getting to know parts of yourself, then, what does that part need, and this, and that... and you let it do what it wants. It's an inner exercise, you wont kill anyone outside of you, especially if you let yourself experience the anger in yourself, or let HIM ,again i dont understand this mixture of genders, do what it wants to do... eventually, the hulk, the murderer, the most hateful person(ality), is actually the most vulnerable one/part... in my imagination, i used to stab my mother, i used to stab myself, when i feel utterly revengeful, angry, hurt, betrayed, defeated, hurt, hated... but i am an artist at heart, so everything is allowed in my consciousness/heart/imagination, and in order for it to cleanse properly... if i let it ... <3
  8. Of course you should validate the hulk. You should know, if you arrived there already. Digest this first, as that is what I see you're doing. And It's all you.
  9. IHey.. Well it sounds more like an aspect, maybe try working with that. See the online cp done on a girl with teal on YouTube, you can always go to the next feeling aspect that arises, or you can go to the previous. That's what I think. I also sense you are fearing it, it's all you. Btw, we all have it, ego will always try preventing you to (re)experience pain and realize stuff and what can make it collapse. Try to understand the coping mechanism you have developed. I also tend to get aggressive with myself, but experience and practice will slowly help you disidentify with the aspects and integrate them. It's normal, work with That aspect, what I would say.
  10. By providing/meeting the needs of a 3 year old and before. By working with the other senses. Case is unrealistic though, but you just give it love and understanding and tuning into the child In order to understand where is the feeling coming from. It needs lots of love. But love in the form of presence and affection, and assurance it can rely on your presence, not like "I try to be loving because that is what I heard I should do". Subject is very appealing to me, I thought I was going to read something more interesting, but, anyway... And there are attachment styles, that remain in adult life because we couldnt attach when we needed it.. not a disorder
  11. yeah ok dude that sounds very inspirational, but yes, of course, not trying to mold yourself, but we all carry all fucking aspects from all fucking people, especially people in our nearest surroundings, they are there to teach us something... so yeah, just reveal your own shadow was what i was trying to say.. understand yourself. see oneself. which is hard and it lasts and it takes courage if we got it
  12. Thank you very much for the alternate perspective, it also sounded as a sort of support, not encouraging further separation, but more like an intimate gift of support. However, i dont think any of it is true, because she is living what she preaches. I dont know... I see her as perfect, which makes ME feel super little, so... Yesterday's workshop was for free! I'm sorry you didnt attend, but you weren't a match probably. In the group we all had issue around committing, lack of commitment. What happened was i felt a calling to attend this workshop, because going through some very hard time,.. and was willing to pay one month premium subscription ,to find a way (it's 13$ a month), and with premium you have access to past workshops and monthly online workshop she organizes. And luckily, meanwhile i received an email from her team that if i fill in a survey, we are getting free monthly premium subscription, this that.. i was very happy, did that, got a code, and now i have premium access, though i dont need it much, but i needed the workshop... so, there's Law of attraction right, so only a group that shares same concerns or i dont know, something, can share the workshop in a way, will be a match to themselves, and therefore, all questions asked, and those that are not asked but sent by people, are somewhat answered, because we all share same issues.. and its cool because she fucking receives all information on the person, even their family, for whatever they are asking.. like just a word is enough for her to know what kind of consciousness it is coming from... so she is very specific on all questions and fucking every workshop is very unique and very helpful. Just dont get overdosed like me and forget about who you really are and personal joy and stuff and all that...
  13. Yeah.. it's a long fucking road of healing. First to see the split aspects, then to let them express, to be present as much as you can (though you will probably encounter aspects that are (self) abusive and don't want to be helped, or other types of denial, destruction and shit, everything your mother/parents projected ), then this that possible integration, I heard somewhere teal say like you should become your fucked up parents, in real life, but consciously is way less harmful, which in the end is becoming your shadow, carrying it every single moment of your existence You should just let yourself be your mum (abusive, manipulative and all that). I am being super damaged and ironic/cynical here, because I am going through stuff too, but I relate so... I think in your case you are super afraid, but you carry a deep shadow you're afraid to look in the eyes I know we don't want to be harmful when we have been harmed, we've seen "evil" , but we've been harmed in order to integrate the "evil", the opposite, I find Bye P.s. split aspects emerge all the fucking time , at least in my experience
  14. Hey dude, I attended the workshop too. I can relate to a lot of what you say, and the answers and questions that were given and asked there were like mind blowing to me. I cried heavily, specially when she had Graciela channel the pain, and when she said fucking tripod split?! I know I am super split. I know I am self destructive, and I feel right now I don't want to be any other way. I think that aspect of me wants to fucking actualize itself, it doesnt see any future, it doesnt see any resolution. Im a performing artist and can u imagine how fucking hard it is not practice who you fycking are?! Like the only source of joy, also healing... and you dont see any resolution, in this life.. Anyway, it's fucking painful. Also, she's a refletor right, she reflected us all night long (was night evening here), that lack of commitment - body language (arms crossed and not seeing in the screen while talking, avoidance, fear, all that..). And every time I attend a workshop of hers, she asks for a break. I am just wondering if i am that fucked up. Self absorption anyway, but I would like to hear how other people related to this workshop, or felt about it. And the healing part, I have the book, I know the process, but I don't have the motivation, that how deep low I am. I want to commit to healing in this life, fully, to integration, but a part in me doesn't want to grow up. And i fucking do conscious fragmentatin, which is sooo esoteric, has anyone here heard about it already?! Doing it ?! And I have done it so much time, the integration, I thought there will be moment when I can trust myself, but it has become too fucking esoteric, and my people haven't arrived yet. .. I just want to realize esoteria is part of our existence, but life and the way life is is so full of crap. People do see themselves one way, and I was never one way. Anyway, the healing part i can relate too, and i feel ya bro, i now have this ability to hear others vibes and voices where they are when i read them, because i was fucking born schizophrenic and am an actress at heart, like my heart IS supposed to actualize that thing..,.. and the more you integrate the more you become yourself. Question is, Are you ready to embrace the new energy? anyway, I can relate to what you are saying, specially the bolded thing ..... write me back what you think of this If u don't I will definitely kill myself, as when you say what you want, people are usually not sure and not honest, fucking split themselves, and whatever my fucking fate is
  15. Dude, I didn't say he WAS psychopathic or schizophrenic, just that it sounded that way. And I don't know why you all get protective around the terms, maybe it means you already judge the meaning of it, so explore that