The Source is neutral. It 100% does not believe in right or wrong, good or bad.
So then why does it matter to humans?
And if it matters to humans, then does it not matter to The Source since we are all one?
Why is The Source so detached from humans and humans soul streams?
Does The Source genuinly want integration to have true expansion after the pieces are put together.... or is it the deadbrained idiot with no goals Teal makes it seem like.....(some projection there but also directly speaking of The Source).
Does The Source have an end goal? Why was its original goal learning about itself.....why did it care.....and why does it remain so detached to humans if it claims to care.
The Source is not impartial or neutral. It could not have goals if it was impartial. It may not judge or punish humans, but it also created the law of attraction.
It thinks it is from its overwhelmingly large perspective, but humans could not believe in good or bad without The Source not wanting to suffer even if it is detaches from its own suffering.
Maybe The Source can agree with me on this one: good and bad should be replaced with LOVE AND PAIN, or WHOLE AND DAMAGED, or I don't know.... something more gray or whatever The Source wants. Does The Source even know what it wants.....how can it know what it truly wants being so detached from humans and emotions....I do not believe it can.
I just wish I knew what the hell The Source wants from me. So I chose this life, probably based on determinism, based on the determinism that The Source broke and wanted to know itself.
......some free will we all have......
Also....is justice even real? Somethung inside of me says justice is not real. That hurts.
Can the villains (speaking of genuine traumatic experience where VVH can be applied vs applying VVH on entire human experiences) feeling genuine empathy and having resolution ever be enough?
I feel like the universe is against me:
...... i still feel like the universe is against me. if the source is supposedly omnipotent, why has it ignored me asking for help..... even in a law of attraction universe if the source is 100% omnipotent it WOULD be able to help me regardless of the law of attraction.....
so sick of abuse, mental illness and just this hell planet in general
I want this life to have a chance! I love this human I am right now.....I just wish they could have a chance on this damned planet in this damned universe.......
I have tried manifesting...... it has not worked. Can someone have a block to manifesting itself..... isn't it something that just happens?
I tried the chicken suggestion ...... I manifested nothing.
I want to believe yet maybe the source is telling me to stop believing so much and just live. Or maybe it is all a bunch of shit.
I do hate the source. No projection of myself or my parents.....i hate the source itself.
Some helpful articles for me to study due to recent circumstances:
A Perspective Process: https://tealswan.com/resources/articles/the-perspective-exercise-a-tool-for-awakening/ ......this one is fascinating. It really goes into the Law of Attraction and how everything you encounter is YOU ..... very interesting. I guess it is to make you understand more about objective reality, specifically your own parts, fragments and self in general.
That is enough for now. May the source help us all. here is hoping it can.
How to resolve conflict:
The problem is most people do not want resolution. They want, no... they NEED validation that what the other person has done is horrible if they are genuinly a victim. Or people want to hold on to the power of being a victim. Yes, victimhood can be a source of power when everyone sides with that person and against the villain whether they actually did something bad or not and they are trapped in a false victim trap.
Anyway, back to needing validation if a person is an actual victim, of course this is needed. It is messed up and not fair...at all. This is why the law of attraction infuriates me. It is not benevolent as some spiritual gaslighters say, it is complete neutral. I wish I could live in a universe NOT based on law of attraction or as I call it law of stagnation, how unaware and detached and bulldozing is the source itself to have created this law?
It makes me furious the source bulldozes and gaslights and goes numb to us as parts of itself as humans. I want the source to get out of observation mode and into genuinly feeling..... I wish it listened to me.
This got tangential. There are so many other reasons people do not want resolution.
My point is I wish everyone wanted genuine resolution to save the world.
Do not get me wrong, I realize why people are in resistance to negative. So am I. I am just so sick of it all I want GENUINE healing and resolution. Which involves healing the pain that causes the horrors of this world, and not berating people.
Also, I would never ask people who have been victims to forgive anyone. Teal is 100% right about that. It is impossible to just forgive. Empowerment and personal healing are what people who are past victims need. You can get out of victim mentality AND have people believe and validate you and validate yourself and give that victimized part power. Such has Teal has. I need to do that as well. I feel bad people do not believe Teal.
I have watched a video of someone defending victims which is good but at the same time calling Teal a liar about all of her abuse....WHAT?!..... narcissism VVH dynamic projection overload.....They genuinly do not believe her. Well..... I do believe her. Her stories are too horrific to believe at times for most but I do believe her. Not saying that for any reason besides validation for Teal for myself.
My personal talent that I am 99% more advanced than the rest of humans at (keep in mind that one percent is me and 79,999,999 other people) is truly understanding that we are ALL one. Not just the "good" and what is seen as spiritual. EVERYTHING is spiritual, even the horrors of the world.
And..... this is something most humans do not want to believe. How could homicide be spiritual? How could the horrors of the world be spiritual? It is all to mobe closer to The Source..... even if it is in narcissistic ways.....it is always to get closer to the needs one has.
SOLUTION AND HOW TO LITERALLY SAVE THE WORLD:
LOVE THE PAIN CAUSING THE HORRORS
MEET THE NEEDS IN HEALTHY WAYS
HAVE EMPATHY AND LOVE FOR *EVERYTHING* IN EXISTENCE
........the human species is not ready for this. It is in too much pain. Jesus tried to have this happen millenia ago and it failed, it only formed an abusive hateful religion Jesus despises and is more demon worshipping than Jesus worshipping. I find that sadly horrifying that most people who claim to love Jesus would kill him today..... Jesus would want you to worship your own spirit not him.... anyway.....
When the human species is ready to listen I will be ready.
Back then it was needing someone to worship as a god, many still need that but also......
today it is not believing anyone could have genuine answers because everyone needs to be equal..... let alone someone seen as inferior to many having answers........
Superiority and inferiority only exist when humans feed the polarities. Most people do, especially those who fight so hard against them. Imagine living from truth, and in that truth not being superior/inferior just reality that there are humans more advanced. Everyone has talents they are more advanced in, some have none.....why does that have to be a measure of worth? To use talents to shame or help humanity is what is the deciding factor to get out of superior/inferior. Like an athelete who berates his fans vs an athlete who wants to inspire his fans (this is an extreme example since most people are not famous).
I want polarity and duality to end. Contrary to popular belief, humans CAN learn without contrast. We are getting redundant as a species...... learning nothing and yet intergrating nothing.....
Not out of resistance. We all need to release resistance.
I am ready for the world to be more than it is now.
I am needing to know what it is like to live from wholeness, to see what genuine expansion is..... not just putting my pieces back together and discovering what is already..... beyond what is that to the genuine unknown.
I feel like the source is like an abuser who abuses you and then blames you.
Teals work tries to make you feel empowered..... how can you feel empowered with knowing that the source basically traps and abuses you then uses the law of attraction as an excuse..... classic abuser behavior.
I get that the source is both an abuser and loving like all humans have the capability to be. I am just genuinly sick of it.
Teals work is great.... some of it is also not condusive to healing on a 3rd dimensional plane.
I guess I am just caught in a place where my needs have never been met and I do not know how to meet them in a world that seems to try to prevent you from getting them met if you are not good enough..... fucked up shit that is..... there is a difference between entitlement and meeting needs.....
Bored people love drama........ they have no life of their own so get into others business and become a dictator..... also if they are traumatized it makes them feel empowered...... I do this and others do this.... I want my life but the depression, anxiety and mental illnesses and brain issues cause so much torture and stagnation..... then add other humans negativity to it and it leads to not a damn thing. I need to just do self care and be selfish without being narcissistic.
We are singularities and the lonely reality is we are alone, we need to care for ourselves above all.
I am trying to figure out how to live univeral reality while not bulldozing as Teal calls it 3rd dimensional reality.
I just wish the source was less disconnected.
I have no idea what is going to help me heal.
I wish the source would help me.
I do not know why the universe wants me and so many others to suffer so badly.
I love me as this person.
I want this person to not suffer.
I am so sick of the universe not giving a shit about me and just treating me like a pawn for its own expansion whether it makes me suffer or not. It is so bulldozing and numb and I am furious.
What is the point of all of this?
I do not want my life to be suicide, homicide, horrors, always feeling horrible 24/7.
I am furious that the universe has put me into this position. It does feel like a dictator bastard because I CANNOT ESCAPE THE HORRORS AND I AM TRYING. The LoA is making me stagnant and regressive. I FEEL LIKE I HAVE NO FREE WILL...... I AM IN A RAT CAGE.
I NEED PEOPLE TO FEEL LOVE AND EMPATHY FOR ME, TO FEEL MY PAIN INSTEAD OF GASLIGHTING ME AND DENYING IT.
Is there EVER a way to speak your point of view without sounding like an asshole?
I mean there is always tiptoeing around what you really think like most people do but, I do not think so.
We are just too ashamed, afraid, traumatized.
It makes me sad that we are all so fragmented that the only one that we can really trust and understand is ourselves. Most friends just lie to each other about what they really think. Which is for the best, who can handle being berated when what they need is validation or etc.
We are all alone in this world. The closest we can get to love is empathy and interdependence. I really want the connection that Pliadians have, being a human is too lonely.
Teal is definitly a bigot when it comes to transgender and non binary people.
This makes me sad. Some have even written negative things about themselves and tried to justify it. Shows how much power Teal has over people. It is quite scary. More people than she wants to admit have commit suicide because of her teachings. This is another thing that pisses me off about her, the denial and gaslighting she claims to be against.
She also has little confidence about people being able to make their own choices about their life, or else she would not be so critical.
She makes money though so..... guess the rest of what she teaches and says does not matter as long as she makes that money, she has said so herself.
I need to do that not throwing out the thing you want to save with the bathwater thing.
I can 100% see why so many people hate Teal. It is not only envy. Or because they cannot take the truth. Or that they used her work to destroy their life because they did it wrong.
She oversteps many peoples boundaries on their own autonomy and free will and choice. Which is why I hate her.
I am too dependent on her. That is why when she says something that genuinly is not my truth I get so confused. I need to stop being such a titty baby to Teal and just use what is right for me and let the rest go to whoever it was meant to go to.
I may as well be dead.
I have not manifested any healing.
I want to move.
I want to start testosterone and get surgery and live my more authentic non binary life.
The ONLY man I need to give confidence as a woman to is the one inside of me.
That is not me trying to be anti relationship. I want a relationship with a man or a woman or another non binary person.
Part of my suffering is my masculine not being presented more. Even if society will abuse me more I need to do this for me. I hope that people will be civil.
Another reason I despise Teal is that she is a bigot to transgender and non binary people..... I have noticed a lot of people in Teal tribe are bigots about these topics.
I have written a lot of things in the past that I do not mean because I have learned differently, I hope they grow out of their bigotry as well.
I do say and think things my core self does not believe when I say cruel things. That is what parts, fragments and even demons do. But that being said...there is still truth to some of those things said. Still needs to be healed no matter what.
I just want to be whole.
We all hate each other out of pain, shame, fear. I have to try to heal, have empathy and love starting with myself.