You know what?! I've been asking the question 'Which void do I want to fill?' for quite sometime now, so much so that I was putting pressure on myself to figure it out. You mirrored the aspect of me that was putting pressure on me!
About the whole misinterpretation of words thing : I see what you're saying. The BBC article on you did misinterpret what you were saying when you called suicide a reset button.
This is a doozy! Good luck with this.