deedeew

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About deedeew

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  1. deedeew

    actually I think my problem is that I really like being mean and invalidating people. like shattering people's realities by invalidating their rudeness! maybe that is the actual problem here. if it is a problem......
  2. It is getting hard to not attack back I talk in a way that seems absolute a lot! and I feel for people who don't like "authority" type people, they find ways to invalidate me when I speak. that is what I feel today. I was engaging someone online about this really fun spiritual topic on glitches in the matrix and someone decided to comment about a minimal mistake I made about a detail in my theory that had nothing to do with the theory itself (the actually way I believe things work). it made me really furious. then because one person did it, all of these other people (like five) started to point out this small detail. and it feels like a personal attack though of course they don't know who I am or anything. it still feels like an attack. though I understand why to an extent, I still want to point out their flaws that are actually relevant in REAL LIFE. but then I stop myself and think "now deedee, that is unnecessary. you know better. be the bigger person" WHICH I DID NOT GET FROM MY PARENTS. I actually built that in response to them since that was their tactic whenever I had a differing opinion about something. point out totally irrelevant things when I am making a point about something that could be true. it is so frustrating! I also feel like I shouldn't respond because the logic I would use would really crush their spirit. and in general though I am heated right now, I will be over it until it happens again. these people I know will sit and think about it and equate it to their whole life PRIMARILY because they are already in a pretty low space. there is this push and pull between being nurturing and being mean... because I know the real thing is that they really just need someone to talk to and listen to them. but it gets so taxing! like I was just trying to have a good time and here goes the negative nancy... that is really the hurt nancy who really needs attention and for me to take them as a part of me but sheesh I DONT WANT TO DO THAT ALL THE TIME. SOMETIEMS I JUST WANT TO HAVE A GOOD TIME WITH NO NEGATIVE NANCIES!! help me gain perspective again! please and thank you. though I really want to attack.