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About Zhaky

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  • Birthday 12/01/1988

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  1. @Samasta what have you tried in order to solve this issue you have? To answer you questions: Yes I feel like I belong in a sense, but I feel that people here are quite different, and we despite our differences help each other develop ourselves. Yes I have people I can trust, but as I've mentioned before, I most often trust in myself to find the answers to my quesitons. However, I do seek inspiration from others from time to time. Hmm, if they think I'm crazy, then I won't go to them for help or inspiration in the first place, cause they clearly can't see my issues from my perspective. My current concern is aligning myself, so that I may find my soulmate and happiness. I sort of meditate on the issues. I ask myself what I'm feeling, looking for issues, when I find them, I ask myself what they are, why they are and how I can solve them. It's working really well so far - just don't punish yourself for not being perfect, accept yourself and deal with one issue at a time, to the extent you feel comfortable with (that is an important rule, I try to follow). My days are quite varied, as I try to stay mindful and address issues and obstacles as they come. I do have some routines though, but I won't go into details with those here. No, it's not easy being present with myself, but I keep on practicing it, and I don't punish myself for failing at it repeatedly. I witness my progess and is thankful for that. I feel I've come quite far in my self-development yes, and I feel I have a long way yet, but my concern are the issues I'm facing right now, not the issues of past or future. No, I don't think I ever feel truly alone, although I live by myself, and I work on my master thesis alone. At work I'm usually alone as well.
  2. Hi Zhaky, I tried to message you a few days ago and I couldn't post but it was the site transitioning. Message me if you want to talk. By the way you know you are someone else when you realize you've been letting someone else tell you what to think or how to feel.

    1. Show previous comments  6 more
    2. Zhaky


      Wow that's a really inspiring story, and it makes great sense that you've ended up where you are now.

      I agree that there are commonalities between christianity and Teal's teachings. I was a devoted christian (relative to how devoted Danes usually are, we don't have quite the same communities as the ones we sometimes hear about in the U.S.A) when I was younger, but the idea of one god being separate from me and other humans, while teaching love and using punishment, did not feel "right" to me, so I searched for answers, and I still do, but now I find most of my answers within and only seek inpsiration from outside.

      I also thing there's a plan of sorts. I especially like the way it's described in Michael Newton's books "Journey of Souls", as being ourselves planning out our lives to give us the lessons we seek to learn. It's difficult to go through hard times and look at them as being lessons we've chosen for ourselves, but I do believe that is the case, no matter how cruel or unfair they seem, I believe we choose to experience those things in order to learn from it.

      I actually just recently (being today) went through one such lesson, one that I've had repeated many times, and still seem to encounter again and again. I was on a date Saturday evening, and I really clicked with this girl. She had so much self-awareness, were confident in herself and she was kind, clever and quite the eye candy as well. The evening went better than I had anticipated, and even though I did feel like something wasn't quite right, I allowed my self to imagine (visualise or daydream) that there was something more. It turned out my feelings did warn me again, and she did not feel quite the same way, so I got a bit hurt, and I tried to figure out, why I (again, because this is the recurring lesson) lose touch with myself and get absorbed into a daydream, just to crash when the bubble bursts. I've realised that I enjoy the thrill, and perhaps this is what I really want, and if so maybe it's possible to continue that thrill, that passion towards another person, even without them having to be my significant other. There's probably more to be learned, but this is an example of a hurtful lesson that is still valuable and something to appreciate. What do you think?

    3. Pastor George

      Pastor George

      "Enjoy the thrill" seems to somewhat self serving, self stimulating, almost like she's not there or not a real person. Are you being distracted from real connection by the fantasy? Do you use porn? Are the images society puts out about women and romance interfering with authentic connection? Don't they always?

      I agree that a lot of Institutionalized Religious teachings seem contradictory to the truth of love and Jesus teachings, Buddha's teachings, there are institutional traditions within all religions but they also have mystical traditions as well. The Sufi tradition in Islam is very mystical and antithetical to the religious extremists who advocate violence! I seek the mystical within the religious in order to counter those who exploit the institutional agenda for selfish purposes. Yet I worked for the Methodist church for 15 years and took their money. I didn't go far in the institutional hierarchy because i chose the mystical path, the inclusive path. Be Blessed, you are a blessing to me.

    4. Zhaky


      Oh but she is real, but I guess you could say my romance-life is based on a true story, but as stories based on a true story often are, it's slightly adapted to be more thrilling. It's possible I'm distracting myself from real connection, I'm still trying to figure out what real connection is, I guess. However I don't see any issues in visualising the possible positive outcomes, as they are often a great tool to find passion and stay motivated. I do use porn occasionally in the same sense that I use smoking, drinking and other quick rewards - I don't let it alter my view on sex, women, romance, relationships, romance etc. however. Taking a warm bath, drinking a banana shake or going for a run is also a quick reward, and there's nothing wrong with that, as I see it, the difference being that the latter options are less (if at all) damaging. So no, I don't think I'm polluted (much) by the society's portrayal of women, romance etc. I believe that real connction is something that (truly) feels right (referring to my definition of true feelings), and I'm not completely incapable of reading my true feelings - I may get sidetracked now and again though.

      Did you always have that approach to religion, or did that change? If so, when did it change and why? If not, then why did you choose the Methodist church? What do you mean by mystical traditions? Are we talking similar to spirituality?

  3. @Garnet why are you so sure that he is evil and have bad intetions? We only know Wildflower's side of the story, right? And I believe she is telling the truth, and I wonder if we can justify judging him based solely on her (assuming Wildflower is a woman) experience?
  4. A great message @Scot I think there is an issue to it though: How are you yourself? Is it possible to be someone else? If so when do you know it's truly you and not someone else you're being?
  5. I can not truly understand what you're going through, but I can understand that you're in a lot of pain. From my perspective, we experience bad times so that we can experience good times. Now when you feel stuck in the bad times, I believe the best way is to tell your self, that it is OK, and then give yourself time to dive into the experience. By being mindful about it, by experiencing it fully, and in a sense asking yourself what it is, you should be able to hear your answer - in my opinion the answer comes from your higher self (your inner voice if you will). When you get the answer, try and feel the answer, does it feel right, does it feel like it inspires you, if not it could be lust or norms (thoughts based on your upbringing and culture). If it feels right, it's probably the answer you seek. I know I'm not giving you a straight answer here, which would be awesome if I could, but I think you're better at answering the question than I am, so instead I'm giving you my recipe (that I've gotten form others such as Teal), to find the answers you seek, to help yourself. In a sense I'm asking you to do a Google search - although that might not bring you much really >< I find that a lot of psychyatrist and coaches really help one, by asking the questions, that help us find our answers, so bascially they rarely have the answer, they have the questions. I suggest asking yourself: "What am I feeling now? Why am I feeling this? What does it mean? What do I want to feel? How do I get there?" The answer to the final quesiton, in my experinece, is usually something like: "To be or not to be. Start visualising yourself feeling that and you'll start aligning yourself with that reality, and you will make it so". But still, try those questions, and see what you find. I'm sure your teacher did care and still do, but he can not give you the final answers, you need to go from where he left you, and travel on. Isn't that what all teachers do, they leave us with more question, but with the tools to find the answers? (Of course I don't know, if what he gave you help, or if it was a quick fix, only you know that. Anyway, I believe you can do it. Writing here, means that you're working on it, and you're in that sense not really stuck anymore, right?
  6. I assume you wrote it all @Samasta because you felt like it (or felt it was the right thing to do)? Nevertheless, I wrote a response in your other topic, which I hope might cover some of your questions in this topic as well. And yes, you're right, we all have our own problems to deal with, but if our problems are similar to yours, we might be able to help each other out. What you perceive and experience in regard to your problem, might help me perceive my own problem, from a new perspective that could help me solve it, or at least move on with it - so thanks for sharing, I guess ;)
  7. Hey @Samasta I don't know if I can be of help, but I noted that you had trouble figuring out what you feel, or perhaps what you want? Whatever the case is, I've faced this problem pretty much all of my life, and I'm still battling it on occasions. What I've found so far, which I hope can aid you somehow, is to learn how to discern between lust/craving, thought and passion - the latter is what I currently consider my true feelings, while lust/craving I consider to be a more physical thing. Thoughts are a bit more complicated, because I don't mean the raw essence of thoughts, as thoughts are not bad - we are (as I understand it) thoughts of sorts. The bad thing about thoughts, is the thoughts we have about what is right or wrong. In a sense I'm asking you to discern between what your culture (could be what MistaRender is talking about, but not necessarily) determines to be right or wrong e.g. go to college, get a job, get a family, live healthy etc. and what you feel is right and wrong. Ok, so say you ask yourself: "What do I want? What is the right thing to do?". One answer could be: "find someone to love or receieve love from", this could be any of the three things I mentioned lust, thought or passion. This makes it somewhat difficult to discern, right? The thing that makes passion different from the two others, is a much more deeply felt feeling of right. It's difficult to find a proper word for it, so I will describe it as such: when you daydream about yourself in the arms of another, or you feel like you were made for being an academic (or housewife for that matter), or see someone do something amazing and you immedeatly imagine yourself doing the same, you are experiencing passion. It's on this basis that I advice you to define your right and wrong. If your passion is love, and I think it can be, because it's definitely one of mine, what I've found (and am currently trying out), is to first love yourself (align with yourself), and you will attune yourself to finding love. Basically, we get what we sent out, so sent out love, if you want love, be a friend if you want friends - "to be or not to be" (yes I believe Shakespeare was on to something). Does it make sense? Is it useful? If not, just know that I enjoyed writing it ^^
  8. I guess the point here (that I'm getting) is (in regard to the topic), that we should not pressure or force ourself, but rather accept who we are. Starting with that should lead us to loving ourselves, which can happen at any stage of our spiritual development. Once we align with ourselves (love ourselves) we will most likely (I believe it's certain) head towards enlightment, whether we intend to or not. Don't push yourself towards enlightenment, find your own path and let yourself get pulled towards it - follow your own flow. Doing some research and practicing self-love I've come to the conclusion, that I want to cut down on meat, cut out dairy products (I will surely miss cheese, and I will look for a replacement) and for now not force myself to do anything, but rather accept myself, and deal with my own issues. Lately I've realised, that if I am patient with myself and mindful, I'll almost naturally do the things, I normally would push or force myself to do. Sure it takes some time now and again, but it feels awesome. I hope I will get better at this, and eventually getting out of bed, will be something I just want to do, and not something I'll have to push myself to do - an no, I don't have issues with sleep, I just love lying in bed for a while after waking up, and thinking about lots of stuff.
  9. Wait... David (Beckham)! I thouhgt you were happily married to Vitoria Beckham? If that's not the case, mind giving me her number? I mean you don't need it, if you're going to marry Tatiana, right?
  10. I can give you a more scientific explanation of the phenomenon, which also explains why people experience different things, if that has your interest?
  11. I'm not convinced about us being herbivores. There seems to be quite a lot of research on the matter, and both sides claim to prove their case - I'll do some reasearch. Feel free to throw me some articles or videos if you have some good ones. I do however agree, with the Gaia concept in regard to humans, being tasked with the evolution and governing of Earth - It seems to me, that's what you're saying, right?
  12. @Mai-da You seem to know a lot about this, and I have a few questions, if you don't mind? The planet did "create" humans right? But for what purpose? And are we supposed to not alter our food, to make cocoa, bread or meat? Or was that just to point out, that it's man made? I always thought that humans were naturally omnivores, but we are herbivores? So humans are not really animals in this sense?
  13. Great question, one I can't answer. If you are in doubt however, why don't you just go with what feels right to you right now?
  14. Empathy: the ability to understand and share the feelings of another. Apathy: absence or suppression of passion, emotion, or excitement. So empathy is not really a feeling, but leads to some feelings, depending on who you're empathic towards. While apathy I guess could be understood as a feeling in a sense, although it means the lack of or supression of feelings. I don't think you need to express your feelings to understand them, and I don't think you can really stop feeling, but you can supress them so much, that it becomes difficult to find them again. If you want to learn how to feel, I would suggest starting by asking yourself (frequently) how you feel - I believe that's part of being mindful (if you're into that?).
  15. @Mai-da What do you mean that it isn't offering those things? @Adi123 I agree, and that was kind of my point, with saying I won't quit those things just yet, quite frankly I might never. My focus is on accepting myself as I am, whether I smoke, drink or do stuff that's bad for my health - in the wrong amounts everything can be.