Done Now

Members
  • Content Count

    268
  • Joined

  • Last visited

About Done Now

  • Member Type
    Member

Recent Profile Visitors

The recent visitors block is disabled and is not being shown to other users.

  1. Done Now

    I'm not familiar with transpersonal psychology. Do you have any suggestions on where to look for info about it beyond regular old wikipedia?
  2. Done Now

    I've never heard of neuroeconomics. Had to Google it. Seems good though, cross-disciplinary stuff is generally not a bad idea. Biggest faults of Psychology, economics and sociology on their own are that they're really preoccupied with their own bodies of literature... so if something's been discussed a lot in one field, it might not have been translated over into another. Or findings in one field aren't reflective of assumpmtions in another. Like how Economics assumes everyone is a rational actor who will always act in their own best interest, and what's best can be quantified through numerical expression... even though Psychology and Sociology would disagree heartily. Or how Psychology still has some trouble acknowledging the existence of hedonistic altrusim, when that's basically what Economics is based upon. That kind of stuff. Things that make sense within the confines of the field, don't fare so well when faced with the complex and contradictory nature of the wider world. To your question I'd say don't sweat it too much when a field of study doesn't have great answers. That's pretty normal, all up. They all have their strengths and weaknesses. Casia's got a great point that I agree with; it's all the same thing ultimately. I'd say it's just different ways of expressing it. And there will always be errors, nuthins' perfect. I don't see an issue with the quote, because the way I see it, it's just a way of expressing "body, mind, and spirit (or ego), are all part of who a person is" in a different way. Like saying a car drives because the driver turned it on and started driving it, versus saying the car drives because the starting motor got a current from the battery that turned the crankshaft and made the pistons, fuel injectors and spark plugs move about in a self-perpeptuating rythm whereupon the transmission of mechnical power through the axle made the wheels start turning. Same outcome, different framing and language. One's a general picture approach, the other's a nitty-gritty mechanical approach. Neither's wrong. ...(well, my mechanical example might be wrong, I'm not a car person, heh)
  3. Done Now

    I get where you're both coming from, and agree to some extent. Engaging with the arguments is a form of validation, it encourages him, because people arguing is at least, people paying attention to him. It's all an ego-driven act to get attention and validation, to its core. And I hear you, you don't approve, but hear me out on this one: I also feel though, that my simply disengaging is at this point in our overall relationship, in its own way, a power-play too. It forces him into being quiet and spending his time and energy somewhere else... which yeah, isn't the worst thing in the world, generally... but... right now that'd still feel like a game move, from my point of view. A move to push him towards particuar responses (leaving/disengaging). A move to 'win', basically. I've realised it doesn't really matter much to me if he stays or leaves, continues or stops. He'll be himself regardless of what happens. He's still him, and I'm still me. So why not ask the questions as they occur to me? Nothing is gained through silence, and nothing is risked through asking. Nothing ventured nothing gained. I don't ask those questions to argue, or win, or change his mind, or re-take control. If I were, sure, dumb move, playing a zero-sum game like that. Completely fair call there. But I don't feel that's my intent by this point. Everyone knows that game, we're all sick of it. I'm not intending to play it. But I actually do want to know what his response could be. I *imagine* it'll be more of the same, but that's fine, really. I don't invest much (if anything) any more, and any response still answers my overall question: What's going through his head, what's the story being told that makes his point of view work? Does he even have an answer, can he explain it, or will he fall back on his old crutches? I kind of want to see what mental gymnastics are involved. It's a learning opportunity not only for him, but for me as well. He is, after all, human too. To me, at least at this point in time, the grandiose display is interesting enough to warrant some questions and putting up with a bit more junk. Maybe it'll be a waste of time, maybe he'll provide another window into how it all works from his side of things. The worst thing that can happen is he feels encouraged to be a bit annoying again to other people for a little bit. If it becomes a problem for other people, it can always be stopped at any time. Does that make much sense?
  4. Done Now

    @MistaRender Okay... this could be a learning opportunity about human interaction. Look at that post where you make your demands and ask yourself; beyond the threat of 'there's more to come'... what are you offering that might make me actually want to write this essay you want? What makes your demands worth playing along with? You're not giving me anything that makes me even want to try. You give me no incentive to try explaining anything to you. ...in fact you're giving me a huge disincentive, in the form of a threat. Your demands appear, as I said, an attempt at domination. A power play. A very, very amateurish one, because it's not a successful one. 'I bet you can't!' is a very simple form of power-play. One of the simplest kinds of manipulation. Your intention in using it is very clear to me; this is all just a power game to you. My assessment of you feels all the more accurate, looking at that. Either way, my opinion stays the same, so what do I gain from playing your game? Another chance to tell you my opinion? I do that already. I already think what I think about you. Telling you about it won't change anything for me. So I gain nothing from doing it in greater detail. I know you won't listen no matter what... so can you explain to me what would make your self-serving game worth the time and effort?
  5. Done Now

    To answer the question you ask, the problem is that if you're going to make threats, my answer is a hard no. Even if it were actually the most reasonable, fair and polite request that had ever been suggested, if you are going to make a threat as part of it, then it's a non-negotiable 'no', irrespective of any other considerations of any kind. Absolutely not. @Scot I appreciate the reminder, actually. Worth my bearing in mind.
  6. Done Now

    Up until I got to this point, I was starting to think 'hmm. Maybe I should give it a go, I have demanded a lot of him over time, it'd be fair to acquiesce a bit. What would be the harm?'... But then on getting to that bit ...No. That's insane. Why would I be interested in helping you act out another one of your petty revenge and domination fantasies to avenge your bruised e-peen? I get the chance to put in time and effort so you can rant at me and follow me around the forums like you threatened to, and have done before? I think you're under some very major misconceptions about what motivates other people. I'm not jumping just because you gave me some commands (not even a request, just a command) on how high, especially if I'm getting nothing out of it and all the effort is just so you can make yourself feel in-control again because I made you upset and hurt your ego. So no. No interest in helping you over-compensate.
  7. Done Now

    Okay. I definately did call you a predator though. We can pick that topic up again, if you've pulled yourself together enough to express your own opinion about it without having a meltdown. This melodrama accomplishes nothing. It was a different conversation to this one though, so if you are interested, let's do it over there. I think you've lost track of which conversation was about what.
  8. Done Now

    Like a kid who threatens to run away forever when they're upset, then comes back within a day.
  9. Done Now

    Me three. Bought a farm, been re-foresting it slowly over the years. The wildlife is slowly returning to what was a dead grassy bowl. I was into druidic practice for a while. I leanred that a lot of it was kind of just... stuff made up in the 1800s by bored aristocrats, but it's still fun to look into and try out. Ritual is what you make of it after all! I feel closer to plants than people. (...Well, y'know, in some ways, not all.)
  10. Done Now

    Good question, I'd love to hear someone else's ideas too. The workshop videos aren't my thing, I struggle to focus on them tbh. My takeaway is basically... don't act unless you've worked through all your internal opposition, 'light' side and 'shadow' alike. If the two 'sides' agree on something, it can be done well. Without that internal congruity, your intent about it is much more likely to be flawed, fractured and kind of... lacking in that 'specual something'. That's my takeaway, broadly speaking. I can think of a lot of little technicalities and stuff, but I think that's the general message.
  11. Done Now

    Ah, it's my fault, I triggered him. I made him upset by pointing out his flaws and insecurities, and he doesn't feel safe in coming directly at me any more, so he's done the forum equivilant of a guy coming home from work angry and beating his spouse, because his spouse can't or won't hit back, and doing it makes him feel more in control. Casia gets abuse because she was the next person to show him kindness, which he sees as vulnerability. It didn't help that she showed me kindness too, which is a betrayal to him: I'm close to being the worst person in the world to him, so anyone being nice to me must, by extention, be awful too. 'The friend of my enemy is my friend, even if they were being my friend too, up until now.' He sees this whole place and everyone in it as his punching bag for venting his frustration with the world. He's a predator, looking for a soft target to pick on. @casia: heh, definately... It's a tricky dynamic, I think it's a little like a boil that needs popping sometimes. Thank you for the kind words, I like you too. You're very patient! Heheh
  12. Done Now

    Ah, for sure, it's not a great idea to hang around anywhere that makes you feel worse. I've had to move on from a few places over time, no shame in it; it's just self-care! The world's a big place, plenty of alternatives to try out. Online and offline alike. As I get older I'm starting to realise how unhealthy for my mind and body it is to spend much time on the internet. Real-world is better, but a mix is good for me. I hope things go great for you
  13. Done Now

    Edit: Directed to MistaRender Well, I'd hate to leave it without a goodbye. You are the most predatory and insecure troll I've ever met, and it's a pity you always chose to dig your hole deeper rather than look with sober eyes at how you were alienating, abusing and gaslighting almost anyone who spoke to you. Your need to control people for your own validation and gratification is overwhelming and unhealthy. I genuinely worry for what it will make you do in the future, if you can't get a handle on it. Hopefully you can, one day. I hope you can get the help and healing you need one day. You have my empathy, but I still can't give you my sympathy. I hope you keep your word, and I hope you don't hurt anyone else you cross paths with. @Sagittarius93: aw, fair enough! I really like you, I hope you're really happy in whatever you do!
  14. Done Now

    Heheh, truer words were never spoken! I've said once before: I think he and I are probably more alike to each other than anyone else on the forum, which makes things *very* difficult. But, it's nothing if not educational. The views he posts are rather like what I could have been, had I continued off down the Alt-Right culture a number of years ago. I managed to pull out before things got too bad (that echo-chamber is like a hate-cult), so... it's hard to bite my tongue all the time, like seeing a worse counterpart to yourself, doing all the nasty shit you could have found yourself doing in another life if you'd failed to avoid the big pitfalls, y'know? Hard to stay on top of the 'what the fuck excuse do you have for not knowing any better?!' impulse. Still, working on restraint. Longterm project. Appreciate your input!
  15. Done Now

    Hi @Casia! I get what you're saying, and I agree, I'm being very harsh. Totally. But it's a long history between MistaRender and I. He's had a period where he followed me around the forums and made lots of slurs and inferences and threats about me. Abuse always with the excuse of, essentially 'I can state my opinion whenever I want'. Now, I'm returning the favour a little bit. Feel free to check our mutual posting histories if you like, though I'll point out that it seems he or a moderator has deleted his more egregious, abusive and hateful posts. It's a mutual feeling between us, I'm just more upfront and open about it. Passive-aggression isn't my sort of cup of tea, I'd rather do things openly and honestly, if I'm going to contribute at all. He's had similar issues with many more people than myself, but I still find it difficult to ignore him all the time, the troll. Additionally, in his initial post he himself said... 'white males need to be bigger assholes'. Welp, I would say this is what that looks like. I'm indulging for a little bit and taking his advice. After the shit he's thrown at me in the past... well... No point holding my tounge if I have something I would like to say, I may as well assert myself in the discussion suggesting men assert themselves more! We all get what we wish for! I am being very sincere in my assertions that I think he is a narcissist and a predator though, because this has been a longrunning thing. I get the individual points being made, but uh... well, the context of knowing him more as a person changes it all a bit. For sure, assertive/submissive dynamics in relationships are complex and it's a big discussion. All sorts of perspectives going on. Could go on for ages about it. ...I don't feel that sort of nuance is what MistaRender is actually talking or thinking about though. Which is a pity. After getting to know him here, I think he's a classical predator who goes much further than he might charitably be interpreted as saying. So, here I am, asserting my opinion about it, just as he suggests I do. I feel his commitment to the idea won't last, because he's had a longrunning habit of 'one rule for me, another for you'. Sorry about it all, if it inconveniences you. I hope you're having a good day though!