Done Now

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  1. Done Now

    Heh, I thought that was a pretty bad one. I'll avoid rocking the boat this time, but I do have an anecdote: Reminds me of a problem my wife had at work once: she was meeting a client for work, did the usual introductions, chatted and worked out a support plan for him blah blah... a few days later he lodged a formal complaint, mjsrepresented everything she'd said for the conversation (e.g. she said 'oh, you have 2 degrees? Wow, so do I!', his complaint stated that she had tried to humiliate and intimidate him by lording her degrees over him, that kind of stuff. Wilful misrepresentation, made her life hell for months, made her scared to do anything more for any clients than the bare minimum.. at least until she got past it. Turned out after the fact that he was infamous in the area for making complaints at government/nongovernment orgs, picking any little thing and then hammering them through formal processes incessantly for months and months, usually until some poor reception staff or intermediary got frustrated and said something actually inappropriate, then he'd sue. Made his living by it. It's crossed my mind often, that the only defense against malicious actors is to record EVERYTHING... because they're happy to lie and misrepesent when they feel they can get something out of it. Thus why I like forums, heh. Everything's in writing! Best of luck dude. Have a great day.
  2. Done Now

    Fair enough Garnet. I don't think there was ever a chance of anyone involved being friends or going for drinks (well, Scot Inquisitor and I seem to get along fine. The lack of getting along is kind of the heart of the problem) but, fair enough. An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind... the nature of the platform make a meeting of the minds near-impossible... I'm sure there's a way better than just disengaging from the problem, but it's not apparent to me yet. Maybe the format's just incompatible with this kind of problem? Ohwell, I don't have any answers as yet! Will listen for now instead.
  3. Done Now

    Turns out I posted to the wrong thread! Whoops.
  4. Done Now

    Totally agree about the genetics; that one's a well-proven fact. Generally speaking, the more distant the genes, the less chance that recessive ones will match and express themselves. The closer genes are to your own, the more chance (statistically) that there will be matching recessive genes that may express themselves. It's the same premise that dictates why inbreeding is so destructive. The more similar the genes, the more shared the weaknesses of those specific genes. The more distant, the more chance that the genes will be able to cover more bases, metaphorically speaking. Netflix (and wider mass-media) though, I don't attribute much planning to. They just cater to what the marketing tells them the general audience wants. If the bulk want this or that trend to be shown in their media, the media that features it will gain traction, be greenlit, get exposure, be talked about by other outlets... Self-feeding cycle. Social integration yes, but I would like to say, not so much engineering. Engineering suggests a structured, planned approach. They don't plan, they just chase what the bulk of their audience appear to want in their media. Market research and money. Other than that though, agree! Perhaps surprisingly, I agree that racial preference is itself not really racist (though technically speaking like a pedant, it does intrinsically rely on racial theory, but I'll go with the popular usage here), my original comment was more down to OP's rationalisations, than the premise itself. Informed by prior discussions, and all that.
  5. Done Now

    I had no idea, so I'll wish Teal a happy birthday too!
  6. Done Now

    Mmm. Thus my point, you only ever complain about the forum and the people here. So what, you have nowhere else to spend your time? Is only ever talking to people you despise really that engaging for you?
  7. Done Now

    Stunning irony and double standards. I'm very tempted to respond with your own words: 'did I hurt your feelings? Good. Haha. Serves you right for starting shit. I love it'. Not really sincere when I say it, I dont really feel it beyond wanting to point out: that's literally the last post you made to me, and now you're having a sook about me being rude to you. Nothing's sadder than someone who enjoys dishing it out but can't take the slightest thing back. I know plenty more about you than you do about me. I'd be surprised if you could even say what country I'm in or what age I am. Doesn't stop you from making all kinds of accusations, assumptions and judgements. I notice you don't really deny what I said, just complain that it's insulting to you. I'm guessing I was pretty close to the mark then.
  8. Done Now

    Righto. So, why are you insisting on hanging around, again? Is this the only place anyone will validate you or something?
  9. Done Now

    Oooh, that's pretty... I wanna participate! the view from my lunchtime hangout spot. Very windy, hard to even keep the phone still. What season is it where you guys are at?
  10. Done Now

    @Scot Gotta agree with that, that's a moment of honesty right there. He said the real reason he's here again, he forgot his pretenses just for a moment, spoke from the heart. Like he says, he loves it, for whatever reason. A very telling moment where his real intent and character shone through. The 'vile' stuff he seems incapable of thinking about, I think. It kind of reminds me of the kids I used to work with, except it's an adult doing it. Which I feel a little guilty about finding kind of funny, on some levels. I mean, intellectually disabled, abused kids have a good excuse for how they behave, literate adults... not so much. Ohwell, it'll all come out in the wash, eventually. Everything always does, eventually.
  11. Done Now

    Fair enough, I can respect that viewpoint. I thought as I was writing it that maybe I was running the risk of appearing as if I was talking for everyone. I figured at the time that 'well, a bunch of people I've spoken to have agreed', and just moved on from there. I should've been clearer in making sure it was presented as my and other's opinion, rather than an absoloute statement. And certainly not to suggest that I'm in the know about what's going on decisions-wise on a moderation level. To offer my own viewpoint in return, I guess I come from a different background on the purpose of banning: that when someone has been given enough warnings and failed to alter their behaviour to meet the group's expectations, they have their participation rights removed until such time as they want to appeal to the admin team. In an internet context, they're removed because, basically, their being there is harming the group's platform for discussion more than it's helping it. I feel confident by now after talking to a few people, that MistaRender inhibits more discussions than he initiates, and the ones that happen in his wake are often more in spite of him, than thanks to him. They have a cost. Thus, I think his being here isn't good for the group, and so I make no secret of the fact that I would like him to generally leave, like he keeps 'threatening' he'll do, and which he keeps demanding of other people who annoy him. I've always been very open that I'm a fan of reciprocity, and think strongly that if someone says something to another person, they're also saying that it's fine for that thing to be said back to them. That's a big rule for me, however messy it can get when dealing with someone so suppressed as MistaRender. Like I said though, I can respect that that's not your viewpoint. I'm still always of two minds about my own; there's always the idea that engaging means finding a middleground, and that understanding from that middleground can resolve issues... but also often, trying to take a middleground doesn't mean a solution can reached. It took me a little while to try and get on the same page as Teal in one of her recent videos (and I might not have gotten it properly yet), called 'fuck balance'. Took a few tries, and I'm not confident even she'd agree with my takeaway. I think it's relevant here though. There's definately the level that, wanting to 'subtract' the thing I see as a negative energy, means trying to limit that other thing. That level is in play, for sure. There's also, however, the level that, in preventing myself from expressing that want, I'm limiting my own. To remain silent wouldn't be me helping anything be integrated anywhere. Edit: that sounds very zero-sum in how I've expressed that, but it's not intended to be. It's all just one step at a time. ----- How I think that video would be most relevant to the parts of my viewpoint that I'm trying to explain to you, is right around the 9-10 minute mark of that video. To be completely clear: I'm 100% on board with no more bannings as a solution to problems... but I'm also going to still express my honest thoughts about the hows and whys regarding what's here. And some of my wants too sometimes. At least, to a limited degree. I keep saying something on this forum, when it comes to MistaRender: I can empathise, but not sympathise. Because empathising means sharing a feeling with someone... if the feeling that's being expressed isn't sympathy, it would be dishonest to try and reflect Sympathy. 'Empathy' is a fundamental part of the integration process, as I understand it. It has a very similar meaning to some of the other words and concepts Teal uses in her more recent videos.
  12. Done Now

    Tldr: 'I'll prove I'm not abusive or homophobic by acting abusive and homophobic' "Serves you right for talking shit" What unrelenting irony.
  13. Done Now

    Yeah, that was me. He saw me make a comment that I'd sexually experimented with males, came in solely to keep posting to try and get me to respond. Calling me a fag, amongst other stuff, got moderated for it I think. What level of denial it takes for him to say he didn't, is beyond me. Straight up homophobia. As for racism... well, look at his latest rants in the love and relationship forum. What was a trickle is becoming a flood. "Haven't said anything" is just... delusional. Like a guy riding a bike, yelling to passers-by 'I'm not riding this bike!'. Then doing bike tricks to try and convince them he's not riding the bike. What a pathological liar. Abusive, racist, homophobic, liar. Eugh. Vile. I get what Garnet means in saying he's sparked fires that ended in interesting viewpoints (agreed with it myself at times), but, well, so does war. The cost and collateral is high.
  14. Done Now

    Man, I've never watched Nosferatu! I feel like I've probably seen a third of it in excerpts though, but awesome, thanks so much for posting it, I'd never have thought to go looking for it! Bookmarked and on my to-watch list. I wish I'd seen it earlier in the day, I just got a day off work but it's too late in the evening to watch it now... Love silent films. The emphasis on emoting for the actors, and the complete focus on cinematography is just... ugh, wonderful. So theatrical, and different to what we use now. Not that either's better, just different. Have you seen Metropolis? Where Nosferatu was the progenitor of Vampire and Fantasy films, Metropolis was the progenitor of Science Fiction films. And the actress who plays Maria does a crazyface like nobody else, heh. Love her, amazing actress.
  15. Done Now

    I feel that, Scot. For sure, I'm there with you on this one. There's not much of a simple answer in me though, because in that regard we're on similar pages. How could I solve a problem if I'm in it, too? But ohwell. If the only people who could comment on things were people who'd solved it, nobody could speak on anything. What Millie said sounds basically right: biggest hurdle is feeling those things as expressed by another person, as they're expressing them. Second step is expressing them back, reciprocating and validating the feeling. I'm allright at that in person, definately not on the internet. Can I ask, what was the context in your example, in person, or internet? Very different skillsets in each. Your example in mind, I would like to say: while you might have failed to connect to that person at that time, failing to feel the feelings right there and then isn't all bad. A great many of my friends come from very judgement-filled backgrounds and from around people who feel a strong need to 'step in' and try to fix/help and/or offer their viewpoints whenever 'disagreeable' sentiments are expressed around them. Something I'm very guilty of in an internet context... but not something I do so much in person. It's often unstated how valuable non-judgemental presence is to some people. Keyword being some. So it might not have been great for that person, then and there, but don't take the idea from it that it's always bad. The best spanner in the world is useless, if the problem is a screw. Doesn't mean it's not the best spanner ever.