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  1. nova029

    Fear of Big Things What do you guys think about a fear of big things? Like Mountains, whales, etc. not really y’all buildings. But really vast things.
  2. question on disorganized attachment! so in the case of having a narcissistic parent and a submissive parent... would the relationship with the submissive parent be the most unhealthy relationship? because we identify with them as a victim like ourselves? but they also should have protected us? or is it different in this situation? i have cut off the narcissistic parent completely. even had a dream he was trying to control my by threatening to beat me with a belt (which i got plenty of whippings when young.. whether i actually did anything or not).. and i finally had a dream of shouting to the guides "get me a belt" and it appeared out of thin air! .. and an epic war of whipping each other happened and finally it ended with us both being tired and just giving up.. and we went our separate ways. i was just really proud of the triumph in that dream so i wanted to share it lol! anyways.. but is the attachment to the other parent just as harmful?
  3. nova029

    aahhhhh!! that is so unsettling
  4. nova029

    so is it that im attracting confrontation because im not as sure as i think i am... or are they attracting me because they want to be more sure of themselves. in the future i just want things to be simple. 9/10 when i am asking a question, i am legitimately looking for an answer not opinions on the topics. like just a simple answer.
  5. i've started noticing that the more direct i get with my desires, my truths, and my questions.... the more confrontational people get? like when you are more up in the air and not really sure about things and more flexible.. people pretty much are the same way or think you are naive. but the more precise and direct you become, the more rude or stuck up you seem? insight please. i mean i am getting to the point now where i enjoy the confrontation because i am sure about my stance and my desires.. so sticking to my guns is fine but eventually i want to be able to have conversations where i can just bounce ideas off of one another and state my opinion and keep things moving where everything isnt confrontational....
  6. nova029

    ahh I am totally trying to chicken out with my opinion on this, but I am going to say it anyway. psychosis/spiritual awakening/psychic/schizophrenic etc are all one side to the same coin. the other side being "unawakened" denser foods in my experience definitely helped to temper the effects when you are not all the way ready to go full blown into psychosis, which we can also say spiritually is going into and seeing and experiencing different dimensions without the define lines of "current" realities. whatever it takes to "stay" in control (whether it is eating meat or eating lots of beans and potatoes) is acceptable. diving into the blurred lines is a very surreal feeling and in that moment if you get through the "ego death" you realize that all of the rules and obvious truths we have are just merely ways to either dive deeper into ourselves or temporarily slow down expansion (because it is happening to quickly or it is to surreal feeling)...which I guess also goes into whether you want to take anti psychotics or not if you want to temporarily slow down expansion (and it helps) then do it. if you want to go full force into expansion (don't take them).. if you want a middle ground, create a regiment that goes at the pace you want. hope that helps!
  7. I remember I saw an apparition or ghost or something of my mom's dad when I was young. and it really freaked me all the way out. and I have seen black shadows dart into someone's room before then the lights went out. I mean super spooky stuff. trying to figure out how I would be able to pay attention to Teal and people on stage if ghost start popping up? I don't know if I'm ready for that!! I mean one part of me is hopping up and down with excitement but my logical side is definitely freaking out! ahhhh! anybody else?
  8. nova029

    i did want to give an update! i have been doing just that! i started just giving free dream interpretations to people, and i feel a lot more confident and happy about helping others. i think i was so caught up in the title of healer that i thought i had to go full out with everything or i wasnt being authentic. but just starting with something im comfortable with feels good!
  9. nova029

    healing work shadows well. i know that i am a healer and i really do love helping others. however. i always get into this trap of feeling like "who am I to give these people absolutes on how to help themselves" when I haven't gotten it altogether. I really wanted to give some advice just now, and I felt like it would have been really great too. I was empathetic but firm. Supportive yet decisive. All the good qualities in being there and helping someone to move forward. But I dont feel I can authentically help others see different alternatives when I haven't reached full success in them yet. You can imagine it is a very stuck position to be in. im not venting. im looking for suggestions and/or insight.
  10. nova029

    from my experience, the images are more of sensing the energy at first. that is the best way to describe. like you can feel the image thought you cant quite see it yet. eventually as you start trusting that your vision (though different from physical vision at first) is real, the visualization will get more and more clear with little effort. trust the process. it is a process.
  11. nova029

    maybe try teal's video on intermittent reinforcement. i just recently watched that video, and then i saw this post. law of attraction?
  12. nova029

    poor you're my favorite. i hope you find your tribe. im looking for where i am most comfortable to. but i have found that all publicity isnt good publicity. you can make friends and having lasting relationships a lot easier with sugar than salt. not sure about teal's re-upload but the content was still great whatever happened.
  13. nova029

    i have felt this way before. it is very scary and surreal. but i remember teal said that re-traumatizing yourself is the only way out of PTSD, and i found it helpful. i think manifestation is a trick thing. i think you really only manifest "unwanted" things when you are trying to avoid them. if you go head first into the dark, then the dark is already there if that makes sense. i think ultimately you will do everything in perfect timing. push yourself when you feel the need. relax when you feel the need. ask for help when you feel the need. you- though it may not seem like it- got this.
  14. nova029

    fear of consistency so i just got my universal tarot reading right. and it was on comfort. the video that accompanied it was intermittent reinforcement. i am definitely in a relationship with this concept as the foundation both ways. some of the examples hit really close to home, even on my part which was scary. so the solution is consistency. but i literally get anxiety, panic, and feelings that life is going to stop if i am consistent. consistency reminds me of the christian idea of heaven. heaven will be some field or palace behind the amazing golden gates that is full of happiness. like you will just be happy for the rest of eternity, which in and of itself is unfathomable. no more work, no more action. just happiness. so consistency is super uncomfortable for me because it isnt spontaneous. which i take as boring and unfulfilling. i think like what if i miss out on something important because i am so rigid in my routine? people get into routines and seem like prudes. it doesnt seem exciting or anything. i feel like if you get to stuck in being consistent then you miss the forest for the trees in life. being open invites new and exciting experiences? help please! i have been on this journey long enough to know that there is always an alternate perspective. plus are you going to the synchronization workshop in LA?