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    Reiki Hello there I have recently met someone who warned me about Reiki initiations. I'm a Reiki Master and had all the initiations with my teacher... Now that lady I met told me that the rituals and symbols were all manipulations of a persons energetic build up... a forcing open rather than a natural opening up. And that the one initiated by a teacher could only ever go as far as his teacher. So if your teacher wasn't expanded and steadily developing further then the "student" wouldn't be able to get beyond that stage too. She's had the symbols and initiations deleted by some person... And warned me not to practice Reiki because it would be harder and harder to have it deleted... I'm totally confused and unsettled about that now... I was planning to offer Reiki treatments but it's given the whole things a bitter taste. Had anybody heard about something like this? Thanks
  2. In my case it's often a bit different... I do feel that way too sometimes though. With people I admire and then very quickly feel that they're better than me. I don't have trouble to get a word in. It's more that I don't have anything to say. But I do feel much more comfortable in one-on-one talks too... But because they're naturally getting deeper and feel more substantial. I'm quite a waterfall when I talk about something I'm interested in. Also in a group... I can hijack a conversation too if I feel passionate to get something in that I feel I have to express... Quite presumptuous of me sometimes. But I often find myself in a group setting with people where I don't want to belong. It's not about fearing that they won't accept me the way I am. I just have no desire to belong to a group... or tribe. As soon as I sense that I'm in... I feel like it's a restriction a barrier to the outside... It feels excluding and restricting... It does not give me the sense of security and belonging. It's been like that with yoga, with the Teal Tribe, with cliques of people.... and I wonder if that's a force working in my romantic relationships... in the shadow. And I feel like this sometimes even in my family... Not just my parents. I have two siblings and lots of uncles and aunts and cousins... I don't understand yet where I picked this up from. I would really like to understand what fear is behind this and be able to pacify it to not let it have it so much power over me. Thanks for all the replies and sharing your experiences! It's so nice to have safe spaces where we can be vulnerable and get support! Cheers I don't understand what you meant with the second response... about listening to people?! Could you elaborate??? Thanks
  3. What if belonging makes me freak out?! I have a very negative emotional reaction to the idea of being part of a tribe or a group, like sisterhood... it goes as far as me feeling uneasy in my own family (I felt like a visitor there rather than a member since I started becoming a little more self aware... so maybe around the age of 12 or 13). Does anyone know this feeling? I find this so strange... And interesting to be honest. People who don't know me might think I'm lonely because I don't interact much socially... in group settings. But it actually often makes me feel pretty lonely when I'm being within a group. I alway found it impossible to find my place in a group... Alway! Since I'm teeny tiny! And yes Teal, I'm probably not 100% authentic which does't help feeling at ease around other people... I'm probably more around 23% authentic. Is this just an authenticity issue? Or is there more to it? Anyone?!