Because my Dad has borderline personality disorder (undiagnosed), I feel like I grew up similarly as you with two fathers. He was either emotionally/mentally/physically unavailable or inappropriately "up in my business" and abusive. Like you, I've lived most of my romantic life with the subconscious belief that putting up with abuse is better than being alone. Simultaneously, I believed that it was better to be alone in every other area of my life (friendships, mentors, colleagues, etc.) than to risk being abused. With self-help (which definitely includes your teachings, Teal!), therapy, and a 12-step program, the past 2-3 years have been an exercise in healing, finding balance, and learning to trust myself as well as other people.
Teal - one of the main things I look up to about you (and what I most appreciate about your blog) is that you demonstrate what it looks like to work through these internal issues and, ultimately, how to be brave in relationships. I really appreciate your help and your authenticity, thank you so much <3